Pluskylang Great Film overall

PiraBit if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

Humaira Grant It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

filippaberry84 I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

thesar-2 For some reason, I found this film boring two minutes in and I guess the writer felt my pain later on with lines like: "Do you get bored just sitting in this box?" and "I'll do everything I can to see you're not bored." (Fail.) No babies were harmed during the making of this film. In fact, no babies were in this movie at all, despite the title of the film.In the movie's defense, I bet kids of 30 years ago might find this adventure fun and could relate to the post-apocalyptic skating "heroes." This was not the case for an adult seeing this for the first time three decades too late. Especially with some of the outdated special effects, the locked-in-time roller skating craze and the bad editing with obvious chunks of scenes cut out that would've explained more than the exposition ADR'ed in post.So much is going on here. In the far distant future without much water, kids are "imprisoned" and must learn the art of skating to enter a society we never really see. Meanwhile, a prophecy is fulfilled when a half animated crystal ball amazes kids and leads them to the promised water. Meanwhile, the kids are hunted for no real reason. Meanwhile, one of the boys finds his village of ulterior motives. Meanwhile, one of the girls finds paradise and her daddy. Meanwhile, Superman's nemesis, Ursa, is once again loyal to bad leaders. Meanwhile, Johnny Five's evil cousin switches loyalty to stay just as evil. Meanwhile, a dam breaks free to make an ocean. Meanwhile, there is a Tire Land. Not sure most of this would work today, for kids anyways. But, back then, I guess it might have fun for the Star Wars fan base, especially since it would more than a decade before the prequels would emerge. Never really cared for post-apocalyptic films. I get it; it'll be depressing. The lands will be barren, water scarce, evil over-the-top tyrants, anarchy and tons and tons of dirty folks and sets. Depressing these films are. I guess some people love these movies. I find them disheartening and miserable. I suppose Solarbabies at least made it "fun" since the kids seemed to be having a ball making it.But, still: Not recommended.***Final thoughts: Daddy "Greentree." Hahahaha. I had to laugh at this character introduced late into the film. I used to work for a company called Greentree. At least, I took that unintentionally humorous moment from this.

OneEightNine Media I tried.. I really did. This came on TV the other day and I thought, why not watch some 80s cheese. I knew it was going to be bad but I was not expecting it to be borderline torture. After 20 minutes into the film the temptation to change the channel was strong but I pressed on for another 30 minutes or so before finally changing the channel and ending my suffering. Basically the film is a post-apocalyptic teenage cheese flick with a floating alien ball trying to act cute. I should note that the film has a strong anti-global warming message. They knew back in the 80s what is currently happening to the world would happen and they still let it happen. What a laugh. Anyway, avoid this movie at all cost. It is 80s cheese but it is very bad cheese.

crownofsprats OK, firstly, you are watching (or about to watch) a movie called 'Solarbabies'. If that doesn't deter you, then you are probably at least semi-aware of what you are getting yourself into, and why. Meaning: if you are not a connoisseur of badly-aged cheese, you probably shouldn't be here.As far as C-grade postapocalyptic movies from the 80s are concerned, this is one of the weirder ones, but very entertaining if you are into that sort of thing. The movie is for a younger audience, so no T&A or gratuitous blood & gore. However, its most audacious gamble is the way it channels postapocalyptic fascism, oppression, torture, truncheon violence (of note is the amazing Orwell-style "indoctrination" scene), and sexual desire through the prism of roller-skating, packaging it to the unsuspecting bunch of tweens & teens whose parents didn't allow them to see Mad Max when it came out. So yeah! This group of orphans calling themselves Solarbabies basically just wants to play a futuristic combination of roller hockey and lacrosse all the time, but they are jailed up in a postapocalyptic concentration camp/police academy for 'orphans', with a heavy roller- blading component. (They can sneak out, though - the rules are pretty lax, since they are in the middle of a desert wasteland and water is scarce.) If you are sufficiently cruel, you get to join the ranks of the E-Police. If you aren't E-Police material, you are probably going to end up a hard laborer (presumably on rollerblades as well), or worse yet, be sent in for 'surgical alteration'. Anyway, one of the Solarbabies finds a magical orb in a cave and befriends it. Of course, the E-Police hate the orb and wish to destroy it. There's also a guy that befriends crows and stuff...roll film!AWESOME: the locations (filmed in Spain, the sets give the scenery the expanse it needs to work); the level of heavy-handed oppression, courtesy of the head E-Police chief and his weird update on the Nazi commandant uniform; great chase-and-destroy scenes with armored vehicles and two shantytowns; the sexual innuendos; lasers; finally, the torture scene!! Remember, you are watching a children's movie about a magical glowing orb that befriends some orphans.LAME: the glowing orb; the feelings of good cheer the children experience when hanging out and playing roller hockey with the orb (by that, I mean they use the sentient orb as a puck); the eco-hippy stuff; the lame attempt to make this into a metaphor for growing up confused and trying to find your place in a vast and soulless world; the lack of more oppression and truncheons in the film.LACKING: T&A, David Carradine

rspress A film about kids on skates (Gotta capture that Xanadu audience), and Alien Ball and no water. Well it seems I gave away the whole movie just in that sentence. Well there are some good things if you are a fan of Rick Springfield lookalikes. Actually if anything makes this film worth watching it is the lovely Jami Gertz! The scene were she is in the white robe and lit from behind drove my young blood wild! For those that like the bad girl we have one of the baddest, Sarah Douglas, looking like she did not change wardrobe much from her Superman II appearance as Ursa. Looks like she traded one Phantom Zone for another. Still it might be worth a watch just to laugh at some of the 80's-isims in the film. Like what are they making in the desert factory that burns tires......Hair gel?