Redwarmin This movie is the proof that the world is becoming a sick and dumb place

Teringer An Exercise In Nonsense

Bumpy Chip It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Paynbob It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

blood-machine-official Where to begin with this one. Not much to add, all reviews have covered the 5th grade story line, the slander of a great President, and some of the finest "bad acting" you've ever seen. The sad thing was, I got it, but there just wasn't anything to get. I wanted to like it when reading about it before I viewed it, and the Movie art (poster/avatar) looks cool, but that ended up being the only cool thing about it. Even if you're a big horror fan, even if you like movies like "Monster Dog" I still advise you to not waste your time on this one, you won't get it back. Go watch paint dry, you'll be more entertained. I gave it two stars instead of one just for the unintentional comedy.

PhillipJarodNelson If I hadn't known better, I'd swear this was penned by a fifth-grader. The plot isn't just stupid, it's just plain absurd. The acting is atrocious, every moment is dull, and what seems to be intended as gore is just a bore. I think I'd have personally green-lighted my kid sister's elementary school script for "Scream 3: The Craft" (clearly a combination of the Scream films and The Craft) before giving the "go ahead" to this steamy turd.I want my 58 minutes back.And who in God's name has been giving decent ratings to this garbage? Were they high when they watched this or have they not actually seen it at all?

Bjorn (ODDBear) Well, this is quite funny. The founding father of America was a cannibal and he has some nasty devotees.To count the good stuff here; we have some solid gore on display and the first 20 minutes or so are somewhat creepy.Some reviewers here call the story retarded and the acting retarded (I always think that's a "retarded" way of reviewing a film) but I don't agree, I thought the family was likable and Saul Rubinek quite funny in the closing moments. The story is a joke, not to be taken seriously, although it does make note of the fact that media (and history) distort the truth. But still, this is a joke, a nasty one but rather funny and gruesomely inventive."The Washingtonians" is not one of the better MOH episodes but it's an OK way to kill an hour.

gavin6942 After the death of his aunt, a young man moves into her former home. In the basement he discovers a secret letter and a fork made of bone. Oh my! President Washington ate small children and made flatware from their femur bones! And now a secret society (the Washingtonians) will stop at nothing to retrieve this dangerous letter.The director of this unusual tale is Peter Medak (known for "Species 2" and "The Changeling") based on a story by up-and-coming horror writer Bentley Little (who has been known as a Stephen King apprentice and a follower of Dean Koontz, neither title I'd wish to be known for). While the story is clearly a good one, the film based upon it is not what I was hoping for.I like cannibals in movies ("Ravenous", "Cannibal! the Musical") and I like them more when they are George Washington or some other colonial bloke. And yes, there is some flesh-eating in this film (though not as much as I expected). And that's good. And the plot was good. And the acting was good... so where's the problem? Here's the problem: the people who adapted this for the screen (and I rest the blame firmly on Medak's shoulders) did not decide if they wanted a horror film or a comedy. Now, you can balance the two. Henenlotter and Gordon do this very well. Medak obviously can't. The film is mostly horror, but every so often we get a glimpse that this is supposed to be "dark comedy"... yet it's not funny. It just comes across as cheesy. The very last scene (which you know I can't reveal) is the solid proof that Medak doesn't know humor or how to use it. Not funny, not clever.And that's my biggest concern, because somebody else would have made it straight horror (Argento, for example, would have upped the cannibalism) or a better blend (Gordon, Henenlotter -- who, by the way, needs his own "Masters of Horror" episode). This could have been the key episode of the season (as many previews made it out to be).A tip of the hat goes to the writer for one thing, though: the introduction of a character who is not clearly on one side or the other (is he with or against the cannibals?). I kept second-guessing, whereas most of the time plots and motives are so predictable. So if they did one thing right, it was the writing of this character (it's a history professor, in case you were curious). I also liked the undercurrent theme that the government makes its own history, because this is so true. I just wish they didn't use such an annoying radio announcer to express that theme.I have my bones to pick with this episode, but I still want you to see it. An idea this creative and well-thought out deserves to be seen, even if the people who optioned it clearly don't know their anuses from a hole in the ground. Someday someone will remake this after we've long forgotten Peter Medak and the world will be right again.