Freaktana A Major Disappointment

Glucedee It's hard to see any effort in the film. There's no comedy to speak of, no real drama and, worst of all.

ThrillMessage There are better movies of two hours length. I loved the actress'performance.

Lollivan It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Woodyanders Spunky undercover narcotics officer Jackie (a winningly perky performance by Connie Stevens) goes out of her way to take down a drug-smuggling ring run by the nefarious Philip Bianco (smoothly essayed with gusto to spare by Cesare Danova). Writer/director Howard Avedis tells the enjoyably goofy story at a snappy pace and maintains an engaging breezy tone throughout. The sturdy cast of reliable pros helps a whole lot: The immortal Big Bill Smith hits it out of the ballpark once again with his supremely nasty portrayal of the vicious Carl Henrich, Norman Burton grouches it up with crusty aplomb as the huffy Chief Frank O'Brien, John Davis Chandler excels in one of his trademark slimy creep roles, and Greg Evigan contributes a likable turn as amiable hunk Alan. Connie's vivacious personality and bubbly charm keeps the picture humming (and Connie even bares her beautifully bountiful boobs as well!). The ineptly staged action scenes and occasional clumsy use of strenuous slow motion provide a wealth of unintentional belly laughs. The surprise bummer ending packs a wicked punch. The energetic groovy score hits the right-on swinging spot. Good trashy fun.

skullislandsurferdotcom Here we have a woman with layers.Sexy, sultry Connie Stevens can daylight as a cop and moonlight as a drug-smuggler as she thwarts an operation entailing heroin hidden in antiques imported from Greece to America, that is, when she's not swimming naked or bedding down Greg Evigan she's kicking ass and taking names: like Ceaser Danova, providing the top villain spot... although its William Smith as the menacing henchman she really contends with: especially during an incredible chase where, on a city street, she just happens upon a dune buggy with keys inside.Stevens is perfectly cast here; she's got all the juice to make this lemon shine. But despite the badness, this flick, like our heroine, really has it all: including a techno soundtrack that was either re-dubbed years later during the Miami Vice craze or, for better or worse, is very ahead of its time.And after a steamy sex scene turned deadly, Connie provides a screaming-pig's squeal that'd make Bill McKinney proud.

Chase_Witherspoon Connie Stevens is a pert, buxom Hollywood B-grade starlet, custom built for the exploitation genre, but even this film is beneath her talents. She plays a 'Police Woman' type undercover agent trying to crack a narcotics ring operating between Rome and California. Known for her promiscuous behaviour and unconventional tactics, she's highly effective although often castigated for her entrapments. Embedded, she's recruited by a drug dealer's wife to act as courier for a cartel, but things go awry. She's on her way to solving the mystery when she seduces the drug dealer's young brother-in-law for information - alas, he expires before he can 'give it to her'. And so begins a sordid path of lurid seduction and retributions.Director Avedis had made a few mild exploitation attempts ("The Specialist", "The Teacher"), prior to this effort, but his level of skill hasn't improved. Stevens is vivacious and professional while dependable Smith makes a particularly nasty villain - in one scene, he knocks a motorcyclist from his mount, backtracks on the stolen bike, kicks the stricken rider in the head, then shoots him point blank for his troubles. Crooner Evigan in his film debut is out of his depth in this genre (and as evidenced by his future filmography), while Burton is solid as a stereotypical police chief passively reigning in his star performer's excesses.Notwithstanding the banal dialogue, amateurish cinematography and laboured narrative, "Scorchy" has all the hallmarks of a bona fide sexploitation picture, and therefore, should've been far more entertaining fare. Unfortunately, the low T&A quotient limits that appeal, which in a film titled "Scorchy" is a major liability. Scorchy is clearly a misnomer - it's just laboriously tepid.

Max Power (kowalski_91) ...Definitely not this flick. But having said that, this is one of the true examples of grindhouse at its finest. Connie Stevens plays Sgt. Jackie Parker, who likes to screw and screw around, more than she likes to do her job. But when she isn't getting her chimney swept, she does a pretty good job at being a cop. Her latest case involves a couple of international junk smugglers, transporting the goods through unsuspecting tourists. That's the who; now the how (they call me Busta-- Busta Rhymes): inside of "priceless" antiques, the junk is smuggled. So when the customer receives his or her fartifact, Philip (Connie's latest case) takes the purchase to be "cleaned," when in fact, the dope is simply extracted.Anyway, Connie (when she's not modeling her newest "assets" in the lake or in the shower) manages to orchestrate the perfect plan. Because she's managed to acquire the friendship of Philip and his wife, he uses HER to smuggle his latest shipment of heroin when his regular guy falls ill. This works out perfectly, because she now knows the junk's every move.After a lengthy (which is good, VERY good) chase involving a bike, a dune buggy, a train and a helicopter, Connie pops a cap in Philip's crown, and the credits roll.The flick's one and only sex scene winds up with Connie's partner getting a harpoon in the back, while Philip's foes (who try to make out with the junk) tie up miss Stevens and leave her for dead.Anyway, the reason I came across this gem is because it was on the Drive-In Network (Expresvu channel 333), and bought a 16mm print of it a few days later because it was THAT entertaining.So if you come across it either on tape or (if it's even in existence) DVD, I HIGHLY recommend checking it out.NINE hairy thumbs up.