Artivels Undescribable Perfection

Smartorhypo Highly Overrated But Still Good

XoWizIama Excellent adaptation.

Jenna Walter The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

Mike Kiker Talk amongst yourselves, I'll give you a topic... "Future War" neither takes place in the future, nor is there a war. Discuss...Thank you Jewish Mike Myers in drag, now for a serious movie review.Once again, another piece of media trash that I came across via the schlock cinematic gateway that is Mystery Science Theater 3000. Crappy acting, no plot, really bad dialogue, and the film equivalent of shadow puppets, only with real (albeit poorly made) puppets! (I know that term is known as forced perspective, but shadow puppets are the reference that everyone unfamiliar with film terminology will understand.)Here's the story... A guy trapped on a stock footage spaceship makes his way to Earth via an escape pod. He's tracked down by "cyborgs" with mullets, mustaches, and gigantic chins who like to travel with dinosaur puppets that like to feast on fat guys and the homeless. A nun hits the guy with her car and nurses him back to health, all the while he somehow is able to learn the English language in a matter of days and for some reason knows tons of random quotes from the Bible. After a while of plotlessness, they decide to try and kill off the cyborgs and dinosaur puppets, and then apparently they do that, I don't know the movie doesn't explain that much, and then the guy's shirt rips off a few times, and then the movie just ends with an article about the guy becoming a teen councilor (would that really be news-worthy, even for a small quarter-of-a-page-long article in a local newspaper?).This movie just plain sucks! It's not at all original or clever in anyway. As the kind of bad movie that usually ends up on MST3K it's not campy, it's just crap. There's absolutely no reason to watch this on it's own without the riffing and occasional commercial or comical interruption. Believe me, it's necessary to give you a little breathing room, especially for this film. And the fact that most of the cast and crew hoped that the movie would eventually end up on MST3K just proves it's crappiness.

innocuous No, this isn't a good movie and it only fulfills its purpose for existence by serving as MST3K fodder.Buuutt...you gotta love the hand-puppet dinosaurs shot in forced perspective. Also, the cardboard TV news camera is ALMOST as funny as the pilots' controls in "Plan 9 from Outer Space". And the clincher has to be the Los Angeles drainage system, with wood slat walls and the most amazing plumbing job you've ever seen. (I would have given them an extra star just for putting together all that pipe, but I can't be sure that they did the work themselves.) Perhaps I'm just getting too old and I dislike current CGI FX too much, but I have to tell you that I liked the dinosaur FX in this film better than the truly cheap and tacky FX in the more recent "Zombieland". (And just how do all the fanboys put up with CGI crap like that? Are their brain melted from too many game sessions? Is this what people are readily accepting nowadays?) OK, anyway...this won't be for everyone, but it is a pretty funny film in its own right, even before MST3K got hold of it. (And the hooker-turned-nun who swears like a sailor is also pretty funny.)

garyb04 I first saw this piece of crap on MST3K when it was on Sci-fi channel and I couldn't believe what I saw because it's so bad.How bad?? Well,the acting for one.Second,the so-called effects because the dinosaurs are smaller than they actually are.Third,the script...I have a question:why do the nun and Runaway get on the train after the dinosaur attacks them and the others at their house??? Did anyone notice that there's a cardboard box factory during the fight between the cyborg and Runaway??Nothing but empty boxes..I wouldn't advise anyone to watch this by itself.Please only watch it with Mike and bots and that's it,then it won't be so painful.Not unless you're into that kind of thing..Fun to watch?? Maybe.Painful? Could be.Really bad??? Definitely!!!!

jerome_horwitz This is certainly one of them.This concoction's story is based on man's future as slaves to an alien race or something. Earth is an escape, known as heaven, according to the movie. The story takes place on Earth, and has kick boxing, cyborgs, gangs from the "hood", a bunch of fat people, and oh yeah, dinosaur monster things.The runaway, the main protagonist, claims to be a tool. Repeatadly, he states "I am a tool". Yes, he certainly is. He's being chased by the cyborgs and dinosaur things for some reason. This is something the movie revolves around.This movie is really terrible. The script is horrible. The camera work is crap. It's not interesting. The opening credits last way too long. There's no duologue or action for what seems to be the 1st 15 minutes. Hell, I'm not even sure what I just watched to be real honest with you. It's like a plate of spaghetti, but on TV.There are a couple qualities that are OK. The kick boxing is OK actually. I don't know who (the actors name here) is, but he's probably really into kick boxing or martial arts. Also the dinosaur things aren't done too bad. Don't get me wrong, it's obvious what they are, but I've seen just as bad or worse with other puppets. I don't get the size shifting thing, that's really just bad but still the puppets aren't bad.I would recommend not watching this movie. Surprisingly it's from 1997, but looks like it was made in the 70s. Perhaps it was made in the 70s or 80s, and just not released until 1997. It's a huge pile, you've been warned.1/10