Alicia I love this movie so much

Stevecorp Don't listen to the negative reviews

Livestonth I am only giving this movie a 1 for the great cast, though I can't imagine what any of them were thinking. This movie was horrible

Fatma Suarez The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

hbeeinc There's uneven and then there's this movie. The premise that the last person you'd think should look after the Holy Grail is the one chosen to do it...well, I've see it before. In the first half hour, the only person I wanted to see (Tina) was dead already. The hero was like a post car-wreck Bill Pullman. The porno king kept reminding us he was acting. Limpy has a good look but not compelling enough to wait hour and eighteen minute for. And the writing was atrocious with needless amounts of exposition AFTER you know what going on. Or some heavy hand line like "I got degrees in Philosophy, Religion and Art." Hm. And this picture as RELIGIOUS themes? You must be very important to the plot. I'm sure some trailer park trash found stuff like this "real inneresting" but it made me laugh. And not in a good/bad way. Still, the final nail in the cross...er...coffin were the innumerable audio stings faking you out. It's a valid technique but it gets dull watching and actor on the screen constantly flinching. I can almost picture the audition - "Now, there's a lot of flinching in this movie. Let's see you flinch."Go watch God Told Me To, instead. At least that's an ambitious mess.

dilbertsuperman This movie contains some of the worst acting or should I say excuse for acting I have ever seen in my life. It looks like a student film casting call demo where the actors are reading their lines for the first time in their life- wooden does not begin to describe. Our not so spooky plot revolves around a mysterious box that must obviously contain the holy grail. It accidentally drops into the hands of a porno photographer for a website. His wife was wacky and hit the bucket some years ago and he has been tortured in his head ever since. I can say without error that this movie contains the worst comedy delivery and the crappiest plot twists ever. Orgazmo was a touching introspective into the human experience through the eyes of a master artist by comparison.You can watch this movie. but do so with the understanding that it is clumsy retarded and stupid and moronic beyond the call of duty. This movie requires the aid of strong intoxicants to be watchable.As you watch this horror of a movie you will be left wondering, how the HELL did any of these fools think for a second that what they were doing didn't totally suck?? How could they wrap at the end of a day of shooting and think any progress had been made? These fools couldn't act their way out of a paper bag. I would have fired the entire cast and had them taken to a secret CIA prison in Eastern Europe to be tortured into confessing various crimes that made good press for my military junta.

WasteBot The story is not believable.The acting is not believable.The horror techniques have long since grown old and boring.The result is that it's not scary. That is the primary problem. I never felt surprised or shocked. I didn't care about the characters. In fact, it was more like watching a poor zombie film where you simply can't wait for the next body to get ripped apart simply to keep you amused.Lucky for everyone, this has been a good year for zombie and gore films, so you can check out Land of the Dead instead. Or even a better than average ghost film like Dark Water. Or a spookier, more brutal than average super-hero film like Batman Begins.

tpm8869 I was lucky enough to attend the Chicago premiere of this spooky epic and it really delivered the goods. Director/Writer Lance Catania has rewoven the elements of the horror genre into a commentary on modern society and the power/creepiness of religion. Plus it has some saucy gore and sex!Pornographer Jack Fender (Daniel Patrick Sullivan) has accidentally(?) come into possession of a religious icon. Within his wacky, underground world he must come to understand why he must, by any means, protect the icon. Looking to separate him from his holy possession are a strange group of brutally surreal characters. Jack, while trying to figure out why he was chosen, also is in the unenviable position of not being able to trust anyone.Catania has a way with an intriguing story, plus he displays a love for the "money shots" of the blood, guts and flesh. Playing like a tragi-comic opera, the broad scope of Fender's predicament also allows for the occasional (and sometimes nervous) laughter. As a director/writer of this original story (shot on location in Chicago), Catania displays a passion for the subject in every frame. But even through the exploration of his interesting and complex themes, he never forgets the reason why horror films have their wild appeal (wink-wink, nudge-nudge).Satan, may I have the next dance?Rating ***1/2 stars