Sparse
Year after year since the 1968 classic, Fox was determined to milk the franchise dry. So they did. Return to the Planet of the Apes is one of the laziest, most contrived productions I've ever seen, yet at the same time I was wildly entertained. I'm not gonna lie: this show had me in stitches.To me, this show is the embodiment of the "so bad it's good" effect. Across the board, almost unequivocally, it's apparent that ZERO effort went into making this. Fox wanted money from kids, so they made a series of cheap advertisements. It's that simple. As far as direction goes, they clearly tried to model the introduction off of Schaffner's direction from the 1968 film. However, revealing Ape City at the very beginning defeats the point of the long, drawn-out opening sequence, and effectively undermines any tension they would have had in its reveal. Further into the show, we are constantly bombarded with repetitive sequences of certain frames/animations, re-used in succession to create a kind of pseudo-tension, and above all to fill that runtime in the most cost-effective way possible. Besides that, you'll also get a good dose of still frames and bizarre zooms that get all snug-and-intimate with any given character's gawking, featureless face.First thing you'll notice in regards to the writing is that continuity flies straight out the window into the blistering inferno that is the vague assembly of a plot--which is a bizarre amalgamation of non-sequiturs and fever dreams--most likely developed via the spinning thingy from a Twister ® game box. The episodes aired out of order, though even then the series is evidently trying to build off of the events of the first two films, bringing in Zira, Cornelius, Zaius, Nova, Brent, and even mentioning Taylor. They just seem to ignore that Nova died, and that the earth exploded, and how technologically advanced their society was, etc. . . . It's painful, really. Even when you watch the episodes in order (effectively establishing a bare-minimum level of continuity), the most bizarre nonsense comes into play, including: giant spiders, sea monsters, prehistoric dragon-birds, King Kong rip-offs, unicorn-bison (wait, really?), pimped-out airplanes, and the obligatory race of subterranean mutants. To think that this is somehow related to an allegorically-dense, sci-fi masterpiece is bound to disorient some from any sense of reality. The conflicts within the show are comprised of petty squabbles and schemes of randomly determined significance. Unlike the 1974 series, there isn't enough competency to get by with its episodic nature as mere harmless fun, and it just feels contrived. The wealth of allegories formerly in the franchise are but a distant memory here, and any commentary that does attempt to surface is so devoid of intelligence or even bare-minimum subtlety. This series also mindlessly copies plot points from former entries, such as the "astronauts crash-landing on an upside-down world" trope for the fifth time, and where it doesn't copy, it supplements the plot with a mixture of generic and outlandish conflicts. Imagine something as generic as going out to get fuel, contrasted with fighting a dragon with a hot-air balloon. The characters are also pretty weak. None of them have much personality with exceptions for characters who appeared in the movies or TV shows, and even then it's misconceived or inconsistent. In former entries for example, Zira is intelligent and headstrong, but in here she's anywhere in between that and worrisome and compliant. Cornelius went from quirky, curious, and reserved to sometimes commanding and authoritative. The astronauts aren't even two-dimensional in character, and the one human female character we do get is gone about as soon as we see her, and then shows up for the second half. The dialogue is even weaker than the characters, with multiple moments in which lines aren't so much as grammatically correct. For example, I'll quote Bill, and maybe you'll notice a basic grammatical error that's unlikely to be made by an educated astronaut: "The truth is, none of us is safe, Zira". The voice acting is always somewhere between flat, awkward, and outright bad. The line delivery is so misconceived that it often had me erupting in laughter.Listen. . . . I know animation is hard--even bad animation is tedious, but the animation in Return to the Planet of the Apes is astronomically lazy. I think the animators realized that they weren't getting paid for effort either way though, so they went easy on themselves. Throughout the show you'll find re-used animations and frames, and lead characters with either no character model, or character models directly plagiarized from other character models, and even the animation techniques themselves are inconsistent. I'll go ahead and quote a brief conversation about it.Sister: "They paid their animators." (Sarcastically). Me: "Did they?" (Unsarcastically).I do like the background illustrations and colors. There's some nice artsy-styled frames every so often, and some borderline-breathtaking backdrops. Those were nice to look at. But that's about all this show has going for it--that and its music, which is somehow the best part. Composed by Dean Elliott, the score is a generally well- produced knock-off of Jerry Goldsmith's original 1968 Planet of the Apes score, complete with no small amount of 70's cheese. It actually has some catchy moments, and utilizes leitmotifs and themes, which makes it leaps and bounds above the quality of the show overall. Even if badly spotted, there wasn't an opportunity for good spotting anyway. The opening theme is pretty decent too, so I'll take it!This series isn't offensive enough to get a 1, and though its objective quality is more geared towards a 2 I'm gonna go ahead and bump it up for entertainment value. In my book, that alone puts it at a higher regard than 2001's Planet of the Apes. So I don't know about you, but I had a blast!Score: 3/10
ShadeGrenade
Whenever a cult U.S. science fiction series gets cancelled, fans bombard the studios with letters demanding its reinstatement. The animated spin-off was a way of giving them what they wanted without actually having to go so far as to commission a new season. 'Star Trek' was the first to go down this route. 'Return To The Planet Of The Apes' debuted one year after the short-lived live-action version with Roddy McDowall, Ron Harper and James Naughton. It was from DePatie/Freleng Enterprises, also responsible for 'The Pink Panther' cartoons. It chose not to continue Virdon, Burke and Galen's quest for a way to escape General Urko's gorilla army, but brought in new heroes - astronauts Bill Hudson and Jeff Allen, both of whom look as though they have fallen out of the pages of a Jack Kirby comic. There is also a female - Judy Franklin - who gets captured early on by 'under dwellers' ( similar to those seen in 'Beneath The Planet Of The Apes' ) who rename her 'Ooosa' and treat her like a god. Only one series character made it into the cartoon - Urko ( voiced by Henry Corden ). No 'Galen', but 'Cornelius' is back, as is his wife 'Zira'.The first episode - 'Flames Of Doom' - follows the beginning of the first film fairly closely ( for some reason Dr.Hasslein is renamed Stanton ). Our heroes fall through a time warp into the year 3979 A.D. and find a world dominated by apes, and where humans are slaves. Fearing that the humans will instigate a rebellion against the old order, Dr.Zaius commands General Urko to recapture them at all costs. The show expanded the concept considerably. 'Ape City' in the movies/T.V. show consisted of makeshift huts and dwellings, whereas this one is reminiscent of Ancient Rome with its statues, ionic columns and coliseums. The apes have modern technology such as cars, planes and television ( in one episode, there is a reference to a new movie called 'The Ape Father'! ). Before they got about on horseback, now they drive tanks and motorbikes. In some ways this is closer to Pierre Boulle's original conception than previous versions. Grotesque monsters such as a sea serpent and an ape skull appearing out of nowhere in the night sky were added to the mix.Like the live action show, the films' social commentary was eschewed in favour of straightforward action adventure. The quality of the animation is alas so basic that at times one is reminded of 'Cheapo Cartoon Man' from L.W.T.'s 'End Of Part One'. Whenever someone runs, you can see the same background flying past every few seconds. As for the voice artistes, it is a pity that neither Roddy McDowall nor Mark Lenard were brought back. Their replacements are simply awful. Austin Stoker's 'Jeff' sounds like Leslie Nielsen, 'Cornelius' appears to be voiced by Stan Laurel, and Claudette Nevins' 'Nova' modelled on Marilyn Monroe.Watching this again recently I was slightly surprised at how disturbing some of it was. The opening titles start with a slow pan across desert towards what seems to be humans staked out to be eaten by vultures. Then there's a close-up of a gorilla leering into the camera to the accompaniment of lightning flashes.13 episodes were made. I.T.V. showed it shortly after its U.S. debut but it did not make the same impact here as its predecessor. Many people thought it a cynical attempt to get more milk out of the cash cow. For all its faults, I do like the show, and it is vastly superior to Tim Burton's 'reimagining' ( isn't that an annoying word, by the way? ).
bard-32
I saw this back in the '70s myself. The animation, as one reviewer said, sucks. That's because it was hand-drawn in the '70s and not computer generated. That didn't come about until seven years later with the Disney science fiction movie Tron. Jeff's last name is Allen, and not Carter. I think that's Bill's last name. I've never read the Pierre Boulle novel Monkey Planet, which was what the French title Planet of the Apes translates to in English. Three astronauts, Bill, Jeff, and Judy, are on a top secret mission when their spaceship is sent through a time vortex to the year 3979. The apes have a high degree of civilization. They have cars and trucks. They even have their own culture. In one episode, Urko finds an old World War II era P-40 and repairs it to use against the "humanoids." The language is simplistic and un-PC in 2007. The cartoon, like the movie Beneath the Planet of the Apes, is very much maligned. The Underdwellers are from Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Another reviewer said that it was a worthy sequel. I agree. It's a worthy sequel. I never saw it on video so I hope there's a DVD release soon. I'd buy it.
