slayrrr666
"Vampiyaz" is a moderately entertaining, but ultimately dull and dreary vampire tale.**SPOILERS**Years after a failed robbery, Jakeem, (Richard Carroll Jr.) is released from jail and decides to hook up with friend Stacey, (Lila Blake Palmer) an old friend of his. Running into Khalil, (Malik Burke) and Ray, (Randy Clarke) old colleagues of his before he got sent to prison who have become vampires and who tell him of another score still out there that they need him for. Managing to pull it off, he realizes that he has stolen a valuable amulet that can allow a vampire to retain their instincts but become entirely invincible to anything and sneaks off with it still in his possession. Running into Nicole, (Jenicia Garcia) and Cedric, (Jakeem Sellers) vampire slayers who he stole the amulet from who have a gang of slayers ready to take them out, leading to a war between the two sides for control of the amulet.The Good News: This one did have some good parts to it. One of the main things to this is that there's several action scenes which are pretty good. The foot chase through the park is really nice, coming across as pretty intense and actually interesting with the elements present during the course of it all is fun to watch. This includes the bizarre bit of humor where, attempting to flee from the commandos hot on his heels, he stops to fight with a guy over the man's bicycle. Eventually wining and ripping the bike from the guy's hands, he hops on, begins to pedal, is unable to figure out how to work the gears and throws the bicycle in anger. It's very bizarre and unexpected but also quite funny. That is's mixed in with the rest of the solid action allows for a nice divergence, and makes it a little more fun and enjoyable. There's also the great shootout during the robbery, which is always fun and there's also the introduction of the main comedic scene in the film, a deaf riff that produces some good lines in here and it's also really fast-paced. The main one, though, is the big raid on the hideout at the end, which is really the big action set-piece in the film. From the wipe-out of the hunters to the confrontation with the main one and the dealings between the two, it's really fun and actually ends the film on a high. The only other part to this that's worthwhile is the film's pretty enjoyable premise, which isn't exactly new but does feel somewhat entertaining in a weird sense and actually has something to it. There's not much else to this one.The Bad News: There was very little to like about it, and there's a couple of big flaws in this one. One of the main ones is that the film decides on telling the back-story to this is told in twenty minutes. Following the crime and seeing what's happened to them to put them into their current situation takes up twenty minutes of time, forcing the remaining hour of time into the proper story. It has one hour to tell the story, which is pretty interesting on it's own, in the amount of time it has, which is pretty hard to do, and that could've been done in easily half the amount of time. Trim the mansion break-in and lose some of the cutaways and it's certainly a much more workable time slot, but that opening back-story is really hard to get over. The fact that there's pretty much a whole bunch of useless scenes afterward, from the prostitute meeting, that generates no nudity at all in a really-long sequence, to the first meet-up and all the scenes in the motel room that serve to just spread the time out even more are even harder, and make the film's pace in this quite hard to get over, proving to be a major flaw in this. There's also the really bad special effects on display. The blood is just colored water, whenever we get gore as there's very little on-screen deaths or even violence in this one, the prop-guns are visibly store-bought, and the CGI used to simulate the guns being fired is laughable every time it's done, which is really bad in a film with as many gunfights as this one. Less intimidating vampires have rarely been seen on screen, as they're just dudes with fake teeth that look really bad. These all pretty much peg the film as ultra-cheap and not really all that exciting or interesting, as it's hard to stay interested when it rarely makes an effort to force the viewer into paying attention to the film. These here are the film's main flaws, although the pacing of it is the main thing.The Final Verdict: With a couple of really damaging flaws and a couple of parts that are somewhat interesting, this one is pretty hard to recommend. Worth a look for urban-horror aficionados or find the concept interesting, though those look for more complete vampire fare should look elsewhere.Rated R: Extreme Graphic Language, Violence and drug use
CreedenceLeonoreGielgud
Khail sums up my feelings about this movie with his infamous phrase: "AHHHHHHHHHH DAMN". This movie is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen, and when I say ridiculous I mean it. Nothing that happens in this movie is close to plausible. The characters are stupid, their motivation is stupid and the plot is unbelievably stupid. I could have made every single prop in this film with a budget of 100 dollars and a trip to Wal-Mart. So, to sum this up, should you see this movie? Absolutely yes! This movie is comedy gold. It is so bad that it will have tears of laughter streaming down your face. The ending is the single most ridiculous thing I have ever seen, and since I have tagged this as Spoilers, guess what? I am gonna spoil this. For seem reason the evil villain vampire, oh wait excuse me VampiYa, Khali straps the main character's wheelchair bound girlfriend to some explosives that he can only stop from exploding by cracking a safe. What is in the safe? Why is she strapped to the explosives strapped to the safe? I have nooo idea. But guess what? She explodes!!! I laughed my ass off. In fact, my roommates and I were laughing so hard that the local university police came to our door and told us to drop the noise level. So if you like bad horror movies, this is for you.
zacharyhocker
This movie is so freaking hilarious. People, please realize that this film was not meant to be serious. The FUBU-wearing main vampire, Khalil, is probably the funniest character in the movie. It's so funny when he falls out of character and improvises his lines with some ghetto-speak that you would hear from some dude straight out of the hood versus a sapient, well-read vampire.Furthermore, The "VAMPIRE HUNTERS" in the movie are rather young for seasoned vampire exterminators. I guess there was a job fair targeting teenage blacks and Puerto Ricans in the inner city of New Jersey who were interested in joining the vampire slayer industry. Blade would be proud. Also, I did not know people had strawberry syrup for blood until I watched this film. I must revisit my studies of human biology. Please, get drunk and then watch this movie.It's a classic and belongs in every college dorm room across the country. 2 thumbs up.
