WasAnnon Slow pace in the most part of the movie.

Listonixio Fresh and Exciting

Micransix Crappy film

AshUnow This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

bobbysing A few weeks before when I was told that the upcoming film TOTAL SIYAPAA is an official remake of a Spanish comedy ONLY HUMAN aka SERES QUERIDOS (2004), I eagerly watched the original and was in big doubts as the script required a great amount of transformation suiting our Indian mindsets. The film had its entire story progression based on a typical element of foreign humour which essentially demanded a complete Indian makeover undoubtedly and therefore I was excited enough to see that how they are going to do that in TOTAL SIYAPAA. Moreover since the film was written (adapted) as well as co-produced by Neeraj Pandey, the mastermind behind A Wednesday & SPECIAL 26, along with Eshwar Niwas being there as the director, I was expecting it to be at least a decent entertainer with some fresh interesting faces brought together.But unfortunately what the team offered in those approximately 110 minutes was way below the mark or hugely disappointing, with the main culprit being the writing only, which is nothing but a scene to scene adaptation of its original Spanish film using the same elements of foreign humour, weirdly. In short we only get the nationalities changed here to Indians and Pakistanis, whereas the rest remains almost the same with only few minor additions by the makers. And certainly that is the reason why one feels like hugely disconnected while watching it and doesn't get what was promised by its exciting promos in terms of family confusions, lovable fights and enjoyable humour served well in the short duration of less than 2 hours.Talking about a family set in London, the film begins on a very routine note with a melodious love song coming in its first few minutes itself. A predictable, forced in sequence involving a Mr. Bean look-alike policeman comes next, which simply fails to generate any kind of laughter at all. And then the immensely likable Kiron Kher is there with some good entertaining sequences in the first 30 minutes. But soon, she also falls in the same trap of 'tough to relate foreign humour' after a while and the film starts moving on a downward swing from here on. Actually what hurts you the most, while watching TOTAL SIYAPAA is that the film never picks up post its initial good moments and stays in that same state of 1st or 2nd gear only throughout. The screen says interval in just about 50 minutes and the veteran Anupam Kher actually makes an entry in the second half.The visible disconnection with the happenings on the screen continues to be the major drawback of the film, especially post interval and one doesn't feel like enjoying its any supposedly funny scene in reality. The soundtrack does have a few melodious tracks such as 'Palat Meri Jaan' and 'Nahi Maloom' but they make no contribution in the overall impact of the film at all. Following a very questionable pattern, the director strictly follows whatever is there in the Spanish version as it is, like the problem created by the soup bowl, a little girl posing as pregnant, the father's experience with the hookers and even the colleagues playing kinky in the office shown in the exact manner, which fails to make any kind of impact on the audience. Moreover even the Cinematography & Background score departments also take a lot of inspiration from its original source, probably skipping the tougher path of trying something new.In the performance section, Ali Zafar suits the role perfectly and he tries his best looking fresh & involved. Kirron Kher once again delivers a polished but routine performance of a Punjabi mother and Yami Gautam leaves a positive impact as the gorgeous young lady in her second film too. As the blind grandfather, Vishwa Mohan Badola could have been used in a better way. Anuj Pandit Sharma gets nothing much to do playing the brother-in-law and Sagar Arya (Brother) overacts in his short role. Surprisingly Anupam Kher gets utterly wasted in a very silly kind of character and he is just there in few scenes towards the end only playing the lost father. However the one actor who simply catches your attention right from her first scene itself remains Sara Khan, playing Yami's elder sister. In fact her act rightly proves that apart from the looks, its only the writing which can bring forward any single character out of a whole bunch of actors in a particular scene. The girl looks stunningly attractive and I truly found it amazing that despite Yami Gautam being there, my eyes were still searching for Sara Khan as she did manage to reach out to the audience much better than anyone else on the screen unarguably.In all TOTAL SIYAPAA is a big letdown, particularly when it is coming from Neeraj Pandey and I was really surprised that its entire screenplay was not re-written but just adapted as it is from its Spanish original without putting in any serious thought, resulting in such a mediocre product.

maa_imran This review doesn't contain spoilers about the actual story of the film:OK, so I've seen a few bad reviews of the film so I'd just like to highlight what type of people SHOULD AVOID this film:People who want to watch a blossoming love story like all the others 1000s in the past. i.e. boy meets girl.People who want to watch a triangle love story i.e. who will get the hero/heroine. People who want to see weak female characters whose only part is to provide masala, act as the perfect damsel in distress who the hero rescues, and then wait for the villain to threaten to rape/harm her if the hero doesn't comply.People who are impressed/want over the top fights where the hero jumps and hangs in the air for 30 seconds while he beats up all the "Gunday" who go flying 50 feet with a simple kick/punch.Naked/half naked females- There are none in this filmItem number/songs with half naked actress/heroine: Sorry, Not in this film.People who are amused by disgusting sort of comedy e.g. where the hero goes off with the white actress and the sidekick has to sit next to a black person on the bus (Dhoom 3).People who love over the top "comedies" such as slapstick where it's funny because people are running around or because someone slapped someone else.People who want to watch a film with their group of friends. There's not much laugh-out-loud laughter moments but still good laugh if you have a mixed(Pakistani/Indian) group of friends. Who should watch this film:Western audiences will especially love this film as they are used to this type of genre where romantic comedies involve adults comfortable in their relationships and comedy can be more than slapstick or vulgar/sexual jokes (i.e. situational comedy). It has been adapted from the Spanish film "Seres Queridos". The story revolved around Asha(Yami) who belongs to a Hindu Indian family and her boyfriend/fiancé Aman(Ali Zafar) who is a Pakistani Muslim and the whole thing is set in London where everyone is based. The location/settings are authentic, and not an over the top big mansion with a few shots of central London as normally depicted in Indian films. Asha is a successful independent girl and has decided to take the next step forward in her relationship with Aman and wants to take him to meet her family especially her mother(father is too busy with work). She has told her that Aman is Muslim but not that he is also a Pakistani. Story starts where Aman and Asha meet up in central, but a misunderstanding happens with the police, and Aman is taken to the police station where everything gets sorted out but because of this Aman asks to postpone going to Asha's parents as it doesn't seem a good start to the day. Asha convinces him anyway so they carry on to her parent's home and the we see how he is received and the "siyappa" that follows. This includes meeting Asha's mother(Khiron Kher) who's happy Asha's bringing her man along but behind her back doesn't seem too pleased, also Asha's irresponsible sister and her cute 5 year old daughter who loves KKHH and Aman's "magic tricks", further Asha's brother who has a "feud" going on with their downstairs neighbours who happen to be Pakistanis and finally the granddad who is deaf and blind but boasts about shooting Pakistanis in the 1970s war(s).The film subtly seeks to explore the conflict/hate between Indians and Pakistanis and tries to tackle the differences between them to see if there is any middle ground for them to co-exist peacefully, and it uses this sweet romantic comedy as a front. Not one moment of the film is missable, everything happens in it for a reason, great script/dialogues, greatly directed, cinematography is awesome. Anupam Kher has a limited but significant comedic role. Acting by all is outstanding, nothing less expected from the Khers. Ali Zafar and Yami show great chemistry as the couple. Sarah Khan, despite being the supporting actress stands out on her own merit and has her own happy ending :) There are a few minor shortfalls in the execution of the film I think e.g. maybe the pace could have been a bit faster but film is less than two hours anyway, there is no BIG ending, length of the film doesn't need/suit an interval and actually takes away from the suspense, London police don't carry guns, depression pills aren't normally dispensed loose in a bottle(in the UK). Other than these you leave the theater with a "feel-good" mood and like I said if you knew what the film doesn't contain and still watch it then you'll enjoy it.So, to tie it all up, not a film for the general Indian demographic but a definite watch for the International audience.

Shaikh Sharukh When I saw the trailer I was quite excited to see the movie. Because it had a fresh pair including the sexiest Pakistani man - Ali Zafar and my crush Yami Gautam. The film starts with a lot of promise but ends as expected. Actors: Ali Zafar was not up to the mark. It seemed that he is being forced to act. Yami Gautam knows when to use her smile to get the screen attention. Kirron Kher was the life of the film. Playing a typical NRI Punjabi Mummy she is awesome. Anupam Kher has just close to 5 scenes because half of the time is in unconscious. Sara Khan (Playing Yami's Sister) was OK. Vishwa Badola (Playing Dadu) is just not required. Music: The album is sung and composed by Ali Zafar. The title song which has quirky lyrics. Palat Meri Jaan is the best song from the movie. Other songs have nothing to be remembered. Story: Starts with Asha (Yami Gautam) trying to convince Aman (Ali Zafar) to meet her parents today. He accidentally uses the word "BOMB" which attracts (A Very Irritating) Policeman named Percy. He follows Aman and just before Aman is to hug Asha, he is arrested by the police. Percy (Totally tries to copy the legend Rowan Atkinson aka Mr. Bean) is proved wrong at the police station. Now after being respectfully released, Aman tells Asha that it is a bad day and they should schedule the meeting for the following day to which Asha denies. The rest is the story of unfortunate events happening at Asha's place. Overall: In the end you might end up thinking "Where the hell is Aman's Family??" But its not worth a watch. Just wait till it is aired on TV.

windrider007 I thought a film with a cast involving Yami(yummy) gautam, Anupam kher, Kirron Kher and Ali zafar would be a laugh riot. After watching the movie, I would like to ask the producers for my money back.Basic plot is Indian girl takes pakistani Boyfriend to meet her family. I wont divulge any more details as it will rob you of the little joy you will get when you watch this movie. At first I thought this was going to be funny like meet the parents but by the opening 15 minutes it becomes very clear that the director and producers have not taken any effort in ensuring that the cinema goers enjoy themselves.The only saving grace of this movie was that Yami gautam does a decent job with what she was given and so do Anupam kher and Kirron kher. Anupam kher's talent is hardly used in this movie. I am trying to find something positive to say but nothing comes to mind. The movie is filled with the same old clichéd characters like a loud mouth punjabi mother- in-law, a hateful brother-in-law, a seductive sister-in-law etc. There are hardly any funny moments. All we get are a couple of lame cricket jokes and a racist British cop. Establishing characters in a story that takes place in a span of a few hours or a day is not possible without sharp, insightful writing.This film was supposed to be a romantic comedy but where was all the Romance? and the less said about the comedy, the better. Did the director really think that the audience would believe that an NRI couple from London, kiss each other by placing a hand in between their lips? If anyone is able to record that kind of kiss in the real world, please be kind enough to e-mail it to me.The film makers did not take any kind of risk in the movie and steer clear from any sort of indo-pak politics or any other important topics. To be honest the movie turned out to be a total bore-fest. Even the songs were uninteresting and I would have fast forwarded if it was possible.When I walked out of the theater, I didn't have an inkling of an idea what the film makers were trying to create here. It could have been a fun and memorable movie if it had ended up in the right hands but it wasn't to be. I am giving it 2 stars out of 5 only because I cant bring myself to rate a movie having Anupam Kher in it any lower. Give this movie a wide berth.Cheers, Glenn Jimson