Leofwine_draca
THE FUNHOUSE MASSACRE is an unashamed does-what-it-says-on-the-tin type of B-movie horror film, emphasising very gruesome deaths throughout and barely featuring any kind of storyline. The opening sequence features a decent cameo by Robert Englund but is entirely predictable, and before long we move to a gloomy old carnival setting where the sideshow exhibits are real-life escaped psychopaths, each with their own modus operandi. The film has a noticeably light tone with lots of cheesy jokes and even cheesier acting, but the gore comes thick and fast and is well staged. The film also has something of an '80s feel to it, with small roles for Clint Howard and Courtney Gains, which is why I rated it.
hedgehogcrump
Opening with a lady in cinema's most obvious wig describing the traffic she was in as 'murderous'; with zero subtlety, we know that this woman is an antagonist. We are then treated to a tour of the films other antagonists by Robert Englund, quite fitting because this scene nightmarishly bad.Foreshadowing the rest of the film, this scene has no suspense or dialogue of value. It is simply poorly executed exposition to introduce the rest of the films antagonists, set in a maximum security prison which is literally held together with duct tape (you can see it on the prison doors). As far as antagonists go, these are the weakest, most cliché slasher villains imaginable, given a backstory in the easiest way possible: spoken narration over a flashback. We have 'Animal the Cannibal' (yes, really) the less interesting cousin of Drayton Sawyer, 'Dr Suave' who's only definable attribute is that he's handsome, 'The Taxidermist' who's first line of dialogue made me physically cringe with embarrassment, 'Rocko the Clown', and pen-ultimately 'Mental Manny' the prophet. All of these backstories never come into play throughout the film, other than that characters trope in the funhouse. Although, they try to rope in 'Mental Manny's' backstory into the "plot", but this means nothing and he is shot in the head regardless. Wig woman then does the big reveal and we see she is, shockingly, another antagonist, as pulls another wig and full corseted clown costume out of thin air. After the title card is shown, we're introduced to the main protagonists of the film: two cops and a bunch of cannon fodder. All horror film clichés, of course. One thing that this film rams down your throat is its attempts at relatability, with all the cannon fodder making references to trends such as Vine, Hillary Clinton, and twitter. This is where the director tried to fit a message into the film about desensitization to violence. Examples of this are: the token black character filming the violence, everyone saying how 'real' the gore looks, and one extra seen walking around the funhouse, staring at his phone, unaware to everything around him. Just like the funhouse manager referencing 'Tweezer', the people making this film deliver this stale message in the least intelligent way possible, as it is so in your face. Poking fun at the younger generation all the way through the film is not a successful way of getting your message across. Cinematography in this film is monotonous, as the director overuses flat mid-shots and closeups. There are so many scenes in this film which we either don't get to see and want to see, or do see but don't want to. For example, we don't want to see the extensive sorting of the recycling scene leading to a false scare or the awkwardly shot toilet sex scene which seems to go forever (ironic because one of the films protagonists mock that it was 'quick'). We do want to see inside the funhouse, as it is the key setting of the film, when all we get is the protagonists running in and out of the funhouse, with camera shots having no respect for the audience, as I didn't know where the characters where half the time. Awkward cuts, boring shots, and quite frankly not enough of the funhouse being shown, cinematography was disorienting and stale. Weirdest of all, there seemed to be footage of non-actors at some Halloween event in real life put in throughout the film, filmed on a different camera, and with no diegetic sound in each of the shots, making for awkward jumps out of the film. Sound design in this film is what made me laugh the most (I guess it is listed as a comedy), because the choice of stock music and sound effects just completely removed me from any immersion I could have possibly held onto. Action music and rock played over every scene with a killer in, stock sound effects where overused (even a Wilhelm scream), and the script was clunky, with lines often making no sense or void of any relevance. As I mentioned before, there were even times in which no diegetic sound played at all, or music was cut off without any sound bridges between scenes. Lines would be awkwardly cut away from as soon as they were delivered; in one case the line was just cut off mid way! Unless racial stereotypes, sex jokes, 'that's what she said's' and puns are what you find funny, there was no comedy to this film. The funniest part of the film to me was the awkward rubbish sorting scene, because it was just so unnecessary. Gore was aplenty in this film, but none of it stood out or meant anything. I commend the film for using physical effects the majority of the time, but these effects were often poorly executed and came across as people wearing makeup in a funhouse. I wanted the gore to be a redeeming factor of the film, but it is in such high quantity that it does just come across as the whole thing has been set up by workers at a funhouse, giving it no impact on the audience. Maybe I truly have became desensitized... The ending of the film was a 'Silence of the Lambs'/'Friday the 13th' mishmash, with 'Rocko the Clown' rising from the grave after taking a shotgun shell point blank to the face, as well as the clown woman disguising as the cop lady, being taken away in an ambulance; I guess foreshadowed by her disguise in the exposition. I understand this ending is tongue in cheek, but I was happy with all of these characters being dead. Conclusively, this film is trash; and not B-Movie 'funny bad' trash either. Crowded with irrelevant plot, a slapdash script which hasn't been proof read, despicable characters who we all want dead, bottom of the barrel comedy and embarrassing sound design, this film takes the 'fun' out of 'funhouse'.
drdeathforpresident
If you like a lot of cheese on your horror sandwiches then take a bite out of this little gem. It has everything you want in a horror film: humor, your basic characters (jock, stoner, nerd, etc...)and lots and lots of blood. The sets & characters are colorful especially the classroom scene with the dead students. Clint Howard, as always, is hilarious, this time as a taxidermist who takes a liking to people. There is a sadistic, psychotic dentist and a hot deranged woman child all dolled up with mass daddy issues. There is a great twist in the end which hints at a sequel. Grab some popcorn and some beer and leave your brain outside.
