ThiefHott Too much of everything

ThrillMessage There are better movies of two hours length. I loved the actress'performance.

Fairaher The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

Ella-May O'Brien Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.

Tad Pole That's what DOLL SQUAD writer\producer\director\actor (guard) Ted V. Mikels must have asked his cronies before foisting this sorry mess upon an unsuspecting world. Ted's intimates were too kind (or too dumb, depending on how you look at it) to answer "Because your mom's friends could more convincingly spoof THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, Ted." Or, "Because it seems your script writers wrote every third sentence--independently of each other, making this story impossible to follow, Ted." Or, "Because some of your musical riffs rip off the actual Bond music so directly, you're bound to get sued, Ted." Or, "Because your 'special effects' are cheesier than a fondue pot, Ted." Or, "Because even the men in your cast can't act or fight a lick, Ted." Or, "If you let anyone besides blood relatives see this mess, they'll think a 16-year-old thought up the whole thing, Ted." Or, "If you film 10 gangs of kids playing 'Spies' in their back yards, 8 or 9 of these films will be better than DOLL SQUAD, Ted." Side note: Mercifully, the print TV channel TCM shows from time to time of DOLL SQUAD has a continuity break in the first half. Apparently it is derived from a print or videotape that had a 10-minute long tangle "lost" in the splicing repair process, yielding a revised running time of 91 minutes, 23.25 seconds (this site says the original length of DOLL SQUAD is 101 minutes). This flick is SO BAD it is not surprising in the least that no one at TCM realized that there was a 10-minute segment in the middle missing!

Red-Barracuda This highly entertaining action flick is from the legendary Ted V Mikels, director of The Astro-Zombies and The Corpse Grinders. The Doll Squad is a laugh-a-minute cheese-fest of the first order. Mikels apparently sued Aron Spelling for nicking his idea and creating Charlie's Angels. Well, I don't know about that, but what I do know is that I would've been perfectly happy if there had been a series based on this movie. The basic premise is one that really you cannot go wrong with – a group of sexy action chicks take on an evil genius and his army of boneheads and save the day. It's a perfect recipe. What makes it so much fun is that the cheese-factor is in hyper-drive.The film is ram-packed with action from start to finish. Lots of machine-gun toting babes, girls high-kicking men in the face, amazingly fake looking explosions and an array of ludicrous gadgetry. We have bad guys who blow up after drinking explosive vodka, an evil character who has his face set on fire by a cigarette lighter flame thrower and an undercover agent with fake face who is unmasked in a hilarious Scooby Doo style fashion. And for some reason the bad guys travel around in cars sitting on the bonnets, while the Doll Squad navigate the rough terrain of the island in high-heeled boots. Everything is accompanied by the most 70's soundtrack ever recorded. The film is just an endless succession of seriously silly events.The only member of the cast I recognized was Tura Satana from Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! fame. She is strangely subdued it has to be said but it's always nice to see her. The rest of the Dolls are completely unfamiliar to me but they all just get stuck in and kick butt at every opportunity. There is a perhaps surprising lack of nudity but it doesn't really matter. The Doll Squad is a blast from start to finish and I strongly disagree with the view held by some that it is boring at all. It's loads of fun.

funkyfry Director Mikels claims this was the inspiration for "Charlie's Angels." Maybe so or maybe not, but this film turns out to be a fairly standard 3 girl/4 girl formula exploitation acioner. Some funny scenes, like the exploding enemy agents. Satana is wasted in a supporting role. This one probably satisfied the drive in crowd in 1973, but it doesn't have too much to recommend it now, even to fans (like me) of this stuff, because it's a bit too clunky.

J. Mike Perkins One of schlock film master Ted Mikels' best bad films. Not as famous or fun as the Astro Zombies, but certainly worth checking out. Mikels is said to have sued TV Mogul Aron Spelling over Doll Squad, claiming Spelling created "Charlie's Angels" based on this film! That gives Spelling way too much credit. Don't know what ever came of the law suit, but I would like to listen to Mikels' legal arguments! Typical Grade Z government actor types program a big secret super computer to choose the ideal squad of secret agents to save the world, and it comes up with 4 fighting bimbos for the job. They use their sex appeal and unconvincing martial art skills to get the bad guy and titilate the audience. Everything in the movie has a very brown-orange shag carpet 1970's look. I'm sure Mikels was the first on his block to get a leisure suit.