BootDigest Such a frustrating disappointment

Marketic It's no definitive masterpiece but it's damn close.

StyleSk8r At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

Invaderbank The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

classicsoncall Done in the same spirit as the 'Over the Hill Gang' Westerns, this one instead relies on a lot of traditionally non-Western genre character actors to spice up the comedy elements in the story. Bonanza's Dan Blocker finds himself in the lead here in a somewhat characteristic role, that of a big lug with a soft spot in his heart for a gal he wants to marry. The story is similar to a Blocker made for TV movie from 1968 titled "Something for a Lonely Man", in which his character is basically the same guy, but just a bit more oblivious to the frontier gal displaying her affection for him.Whenever Charley Bicker (Blocker) isn't on screen, the supporting players have a good time hamming it up, with Jim Backus, Mickey Rooney, Wally Cox and Noah Beery, Jr. leading the charge. Jack Elam flits in and out of the story as a hilarious blind gunslinger on the trail of a thousand dollar bounty for outlaw Panama Jack. The town folk come to rely on Kittrick (Elam) to run saloon gal Sadie's (Nanette Fabray) suitor out of town to grease the skids for Bicker's romance.I got the biggest kick out of Mickey Rooney uttering some self deprecating lines as they relate to his own matrimonial history (married eight times!!!). The first time was when he saw the wrong mail order bride get off the train, stating that he 'wanted one of those'. The better gag was when he offered to tell Charley about all the trouble he's had with women. I bet that line dredged up a lot of memories, as he was with wife number seven at the time. I still can't get over Ava Gardner being his first.There are also a number of sight gags you'll have to keep your eye out for. I liked the sign in the barber shop providing double duty with 'Special Rates for Funerals', along with the Calico saloon featuring 'Whiskey - 10 cents; Good Whiskey - 15 cents'. What the heck, be a big spender for the extra nickel.For all you Bonanza fans who couldn't get enough of Hoss Cartwright, this is an entertaining family Western which manages to sidestep the issue of saloon gal Sadie's real profession; at one point she calls herself a dance hall singer and dancer. She fesses up to her shady history with Charley in a later scene by referencing her 'bad' past, but it gets glossed over pretty quickly with Charley's blasé attitude. Sadie keeps Charley and the viewer up in the air about what she'll really do when it comes to walking down the aisle, but if you've seen enough of these kinds of stories, there's only one way it could turn out. And it does.

moonspinner55 When the only blacksmith in the tumbleweed town of Calico is set to pack up and leave after he's humiliated by his no-show mail-order bride, the other residents band together to replace her with a substitute: the trampy bar-hostess. Universal originally intended "Cockeyed Cowboys" as a television movie to be entitled "A Woman For Charley", but released it theatrically first. While lacking seriously in budget (not to mention originality), the film does have Dan Blocker in the lead, and the gentle giant from "Bonanza" really knows how to work the 'bruised big guy' routine for a touching affect. Unaware of his lady love's true identity, Blocker is quite charming "courtin' her at full steam"; though Blocker occasionally looks winded or overly-tanned, his crestfallen bachelor is the best thing in the picture (and when he's not around, it dies). Blocker inexplicably vanishes from the action twice: after a drinking binge and during a walk into town, leaving the supporting players to pick up the slack. Jim Backus is good as the sheriff, Jack Elam isn't bad in a slapstick role as a near-sighted bounty hunter, but Mickey Rooney chews the scenery (what little of it there is) and Nanette Fabray is disappointing as the bridal ringer. Ranald MacDougall wrote, produced, and co-directed the film...and maybe could have used some extra help. *1/2 from ****

ccarni1 A 1970's screwball comedy-western with just the right amount of sentiment thrown in...and is NOT on video or DVD! Why?? You have a wonderful cast brought together here: Dan Blocker, Jim Backus, Nanette Fabray, Wally Cox, scene-stealer Mickey Rooney, Noah Berry Jr, Stubby Kaye, the uproarious Jack Elam, long-time stock player Henry Jones, Jack Cassidy, and more! You couldn't lose with a cast like this!The plot is simple and formula: Charlie, the only blacksmith in town (Blocker) is going to leave because his mail-order bride turned out to be a hoax. The nervous townsfolk convince Sadie the saloon girl (Fabray) to portray the bride just long enough to let him down easy, leave town, then resume her normal life as a bar singer. Since the blacksmith doesn't drink, he'd never enter the saloon, so it's a perfect plan, right? Jack Cassidy plays Sadie's nasty sometime-boyfriend Roger Hand who the gang try to pass off as wanted criminal Panama Jack. In a great 'showdown' scene, blind-as-a-bat bounty hunter Blaze Kittrick (Elam) draws down on innocent Indian Tom (Rooney) with hysterical results! Blocker and Fabray fall for each other in the end (naturally) , but the path to their eventual nuptials is a comedy gold-mine with a lot of laughs and heartfelt warm. A true gem of a minor "B" film that finally, after years of waiting, I have a DVD of the movie from an Australian source! Hopefully someday a big-wig at Universal will see the light of day and release it to the public. You want a copy? Ioffer.com has them for sale (me too!).

ridgerunner773 I haven't seen this movie in years, but I remember I saw it at the movie theatre and really enjoyed it. It was a great chance to see Dan Blocker in another role besides "Hoss Cartwright". It also had other cast members such as Jack Elam and Mickey Rooney who were truly enjoyable to watch.