The Baby and the Battleship

1956 "It all starts when a sailor's left holding the baby!"
5.3| 1h36m| en| More Info
Released: 30 September 1957 Released
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Synopsis

After a quayside mix-up with the Italian family of his fiancée, Able Seaman Knocker White finds himself literally left holding the baby. Unable to return it before his ship sails he enlists the help of best mate Puncher Roberts to smuggle the child aboard. But babies are surprisingly demanding and gradually the whole crew is drawn into helping keep it fed and washed - and undiscovered. Even so, the officers above deck start to puzzle over the increasingly strange happenings on board.

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Reviews

KnotMissPriceless Why so much hype?
SunnyHello Nice effects though.
Konterr Brilliant and touching
Baseshment I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.
Marco Trevisiol Considering the array of dramatic and comedic talent in the cast of 'The Baby and The Battleship' - Richard Attenborough, John Mills, Lionel Jeffries, Michael Horden, John Le Mesurier, Kenneth Griffith, Gordon Jackson and more - you would think it would be impossible for the film not to have some entertainment value. But this film pretty much achieves it.Displaying all the worst aspects of mid-1950s British cinema, the film snoozes through by falling back on dreary Italian stereotypes and the most uninteresting bunch of sailors you're ever likely to come across.Most baffling of all, after all the effort a group of sailors put into hiding the baby from the authorities when it is discovered it doesn't really seem an issue at all!The best that can be said about the film is that the child in the central role gives a good performance.A real disappointment.
sudge2007 My FTA usually puts on great old movies with regularity and I am always eager to watch because I don't see much these days that has any real depth to the story, so I usually chew it up eagerly. So, this afternoon, I was treated to "The Baby and the Battleship". The name put me off a bit, but I saw that the there was quite a stellar cast and decided to stick with it while lying on the lounge and eating a nice hot pork dumpling soup with some jasmine tea (sounds kinda snotty-nose doesn't it?)Well....that's where it ended.If you thought that you were getting class with John Mills and Richard Attenborough, forget it. They have done better things when visiting the toilet when they get up of a morning. The whole movie is a milquetoast presentation with a poor shot at Marx Bros. mayhem that misses by quite a bit. From start to finish, the whole plot is just an unbelievable potpourri of badly written comedy, stiff acting and rubbish lines in general. It doesn't surprise me that the movie was panned by critics back in the 50's. What did stand out was the editing of the movie. My wife and I sat and watched the movie thinking that the baby (quite mature) that was used would have been blubbering intensely at the end of most scenes, but I believe that, due to editing, the kid was made to look like a total actor that was in control of itself at all times, which is more than I could say for the grown-ups. The rest of the cast were made to look like badly written cartoons.Do yourself a favor and give this one a miss. The big names in this movie have made better and this must have been just a quick money-maker while they were in between projects.It may not seem like it, but I'm lost for words with this one.
Spikeopath When your light airy comedy can boast Richard Attenborough and John Mills as its leads, well it's in safe hands as a time filler at least. The Baby And The Battleship is one of those affable comedies that filtered out of Shepperton Studios from time to time back in the day. Always crammed with stock British talent, they serve as a reminder, much like the Pinewood Studios comedies released in the same time frame, of simple honest enjoyment. No frills or attempts at insulting the viewers intelligence, they existed (exist) purely as a medium to be sampled without the need for dissection or deeper themed meanings (like some of Ealing's comedies for example).This effort revolves around two sailors, Knocker (Attenborough) and Puncher (Mills), who while on shore leave find themselves baby minding the brother of Knocker's Italian fiancée, the 13th born in the family no less! After a big punch up in the city, Puncher wakes up to find everyone has gone except the baby, who is still sitting in the last place Puncher had left him. Fretting and unable to find Knocker 9who's off with his lady searching elsewhere), Puncher smuggles the baby on board his ship and promptly enlists his ship mates to help him. Cue much mirth as first the ship sails leaving Knocker AWOL on shore, and secondly as macho sailors try to temporarily raise the child whilst simultaneously keeping him hidden from the ship's superiors; something that proves most definitely hard to do.As one can reasonably expect with a cast containing two of Great Britain's treasures, the acting is value for money. Backed up by a ships roll call consisting of Bryan Forbes, Michael Hordern, Michael Howard, Lionel Jeffries, John Le Mesurier and Gordon Jackson, it's easy to see why this comedy was steered safely into port. Also having some nice outer location work at Abattoir Wharf in Corradino, Malta, is a plus as well. The Baby And The Battleship probably isn't a film you would want to watch time and time again, but hey, sometimes once is enough to leave a safe and favourable impression. 6/10
doire The Baby and The Battleship is one of those movies that can be instantly forgotten about as soon as the end credits roll. It is an innocent film for an innocent audience - no blood, no gore, no violence, no profanity, no sex, no anything much. Still, it is worth a look, if only to spot some famous names in the days of their relative youth - Richard Attenborough, John Mills, John Le Mesurier, et.al. Not great nor terribly funny but it does have a few light-hearted moments that warm the heart.