Cebalord Very best movie i ever watch

SpuffyWeb Sadly Over-hyped

CrawlerChunky In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

Ginger Very good movie overall, highly recommended. Most of the negative reviews don't have any merit and are all pollitically based. Give this movie a chance at least, and it might give you a different perspective.

Robert W. Sometimes you can follow a tried and true recipe and still fail. Simon Says is just all around badly slapped together with stereo typical, empty characters, un-unique kills, a terrible killer and all of this packaged to call out "Blake Lively" on the cover because she hit it big a year later. For the record Blake Lively is in this film a total of about 15 seconds and its in the last few minutes of the movie. The concept of twins (one who is dim witted) seems like it could be a good idea for a slasher film but Crispin Glover who tries to pride himself on being obscure and unique usually just comes across as egotistical and annoying and that shines through in Simon Says. If his character had been better written he could have maybe done something significant with it. The rest of the cast, the older than teenage fodder for the killer are terrible. They add nothing to the story or the cast. Director and writer William Dear is not a newcomer to the industry. He's been directing films for over two decades and I think someone just gave him a few dollars to do his own thing but it just feels so slapped together. Every once in awhile, if you're a big horror fan like me, you will get drawn into the story briefly, or enjoy a really gory kill but then the poor cast and story and pace will drag it all back down. Unless you're just a huge slasher fan you might as well skip this one. 5/10

Woodyanders You all know the drill. A quintet of college kids -- hunky stud muffin Riff (Artie Baxter), his snippy girlfriend Kate (a perfectly bitchy Margo Harshman), hot vampy slut Vicky (a deliciously naughty portrayal by Carrie Finklea), amiable stoner Zack (a hilariously goofy Greg Cipes), and naive goody-goody two shoes Ashley (Kelly Vitz) -- go camping in a remote neck of the woods. Since the kids smoke pot and make out, clearly they are destined to meet gruesome untimely ends. Of course, they run afoul of crazed hillbilly psycho Stanley and his dim-witted brother Simon. Writer/director William Dear relates the story at a steady pace, really pours on the over-the-top splatter with the amusingly outrageous and imaginative murder set pieces (grisly highlights include one victim being turned in a human CD player, some wicked pick-ax mayhem, and Zack being turned into a giant reefer), and further spices things up with a delightfully twisted sense of pitch-black gallows humor (Stanley's elaborate Rube Goldberg-style deadly contraptions are very funny in an admittedly sick sort of way). Best of all, the one and only Crispin Glover has himself a field day in the juicy dual role of Simon and Stanley: Sporting a strange voice that alternates between a shrill whine and an overripe Southern accent, doing all these twitchy mannerisms with histrionic abandon, making all these groaningly cruddy Simon says puns, and even stomping on a cute little poodle in one particularly great scene, Glover is a total wacky hoot to watch. Both Bryan Greenberg's slick cinematography, Ludek Drizhal's shuddery, spirited score, and the pleasingly grim ending are all up to par as well, but it's Glover's marvelously manic and unrestrained eye-rolling hambone acting which gives this flick an extra nutty edge. Good, cheesy fun.

johannes2000-1 It took me some 30 minutes before I realized that I shouldn't take this movie too seriously. Not that there wasn't anything to smile about from the start. There's the usual bunch of teenage friends (the horny jock, the luscious bimbo, the preppy mona lisa, the airhead dork, etc.), it's ludicrous enough that we always take such an improbable pairing of girls and boys for granted, but they provide us with the usual wannabe funny stuff, like vulgar jokes, dumb one-liners and fooling around with each other. But when the killings began, it was as if everything turned dead-serious, probably because of the dark atmosphere and the crazy killing-mechanisms (like some mechanical contraption that propels axes through the air like a tennis ball canon) and the rather gloomy flash-backs that introduced us to the killer-twins as infants. But once we meet Simon (or IS it Simon???) and actor Crispin Glover drawls his lines in a blatant piece of over-acting, it suddenly dawned on me: it's supposed to be FUN!! Everything that follows turns out as way over-the-top: the more-than-graphic kills, the extreme gore and the rapidly mounting body-count (enhanced by some amateur soldiers that appear in the movie totally out-off-the-blue, just to get themselves immediately killed).I have to admit that I found it all very entertaining, as long as you don't use your brain and just go for the ride in this really fast and gory machine. Because, lets face it: the story was totally incomprehensible, I didn't know who the hell we dealt with (Simon or Stanley or maybe both???) and I couldn't have cared less. The teenagers were all extremely annoying (although air-headed Zack turns out to be a posthumous hero in the end) and there were numerous potholes in the script. I mean: how come this Simon (with or without his brother) is evidently for years on the loose, while killing off anyone who sticks his head into his little shop?! Wouldn't someone (the police for instance, to make a wild suggestion) by now have come to check for the countless missing persons? Anyway, there's a lot in favor of this movie too. I you like hefty gore, this is your thing, the special effects are absolutely great and I was really stunned by the wonderful photography, the brightness of the colors, even in the night-scenes, is remarkable!! The kids are mostly good looking, the jock has a great physique (and is allowed to show it), and Crispin Glover is… well, is Crispin Glover, he's not exactly my cup of tea, but he sure as hell makes a convincing weirdo! In the obligatory last scene where we learn that the story will repeat itself for ever and ever, a group of new friends come to the little shop as fresh meat for Simon, and be sure to check out this bare-chested guy, who's totally awesome. What a shame that the movie stopped right there and then!

greboca I'm a devout Crispin Glover fan, and will always give a watch to anything he's in. From classics to genre oddities to mainstream pap, he's had a career that touches many points.... while the productions he's in might not all be winners, at least he can be counted-on for an entertaining (and often unique) performance.Not so with SIMON SAYS. This movie is just dismal. Obviously shot on DV and starring a cast of poorly-played stereotypes, SIMON SAYS feels like a student-film... it tries hard at times, but just keeps failing. Story - non-existent Characters - generic and stiff Dialogue - embarrassing SFX - way wayyyy too much (unconvincing) CGII wanted to just stop the flick early and end my pain, but ultimately I was drawn to know what on earth Crispin Glover saw in this project. I mean, maybe he did it strictly for the money (and if this production *DID* ever have a budget, certainly most of it MUST have gone to his salary). I have to presume that's the only reason he signed-onto this pile of crap. Avoid this one. It isn't fun, it isn't "so-bad-it's-good"... it's just a p!ss-poor piece of crap.