Colibel Terrible acting, screenplay and direction.

Stometer Save your money for something good and enjoyable

SnoReptilePlenty Memorable, crazy movie

Nayan Gough A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

udar55 I'm not much for reading into things, but - no joke - my VCR spit this out twice last night when I put it in. Turns out I'm dumb enough to fix the problem (stuck gate) and throw the video back in. The plot is roughly this - evil Dr. Saticoy wants a magic crystal held by The Holy Rollers (yes, roller skating nuns). The crystal has the power to heal the dead but he wants it to launch himself across a cavern to some weapons factory. Did I mention he has a mutant baby for a right hand? This is truly one of the worst films ever made. Words really can't describe how awful it is. The whole thing is dubbed (by people with heavy accents) and everyone talks as if in a Shakespeare play with lots of "Thee" and "Thou" being slung around. And, for whatever reason, in the bleak future everyone will be on roller skates. The film just drags and one can't help but wonder what kinda of drugs director Donald Jackson was on. Sadly, he tried to ply this trash as art and throws out, "If you don't like it, you don't get it" in interviews. Um, no. I actually remember liking his HELL CAME TO FROGTOWN.The end credits threaten ROLLER BLADE PART 2: HOLY THUNDER. Jackson never burdened the world with that specific follow-up, but did unleash SIX (!!!) more ROLLER BLADE themed films, including the amusingly titled ROLLERGATOR.

d-overcash Some friends and I have watched many terrible films, but this is the absolute pinnacle of C-movie grandeur. It contains awful acting, a porn-quality soundtrack, poorly overdubbed speech (in some of which the actors forgot their exact words, so you can tell they're not speaking the same line), completely pointless nudity, and repetitive location work. All the characters speak a senseless mix of Olde and contemporary English, frequently misusing thous and thys. The special effects seem as if they were done on an old Apple II. And at the core of this shining gem is a story so fragmented, so spur-of-the-moment, that it hurts the head to see. There are plenty of phenomenal lines in this film, worthy of quotation when you want to get a laugh. All in all, I consider Roller Blade to be one of the best worst films I've ever seen.

hurd62 Roller Blade is not and has not pretense of being a great movie. Anyone applying a rigorous scientific analysis to the technologies depicted will either pull out her hair or laugh herself silly.But it delivers exactly what it promises = action & babes in skimpy outfits. And as one of those babes is the delicious Michelle Bauer, this remains one of my guilty pleasures.There were just enough literary references in the movie to lead me to believe the producers toyed with the idea of making it a serious flick, but then we were treated to more babes.All Michelle Bauer fans should watch every film she ever appears in, even this one.

Macholic This is the kind of movie that you either love or love to hate. This is a deliberately campy and schlocky zero budget outing and director Jackson has even cast camp movie auteur Fred Olen Ray's young son in this one. It is post-apocalyptic movie where the rulers send out the shakespearian talking skate patrol to police. Nude babes, cheesy effects, deadpan dialog and pure sillyness makes this an irresistable turkey. Roundup your friends and have a big laugh! 10/10