Lovesusti The Worst Film Ever

Onlinewsma Absolutely Brilliant!

Kien Navarro Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

Allison Davies The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

Phil Hubbs So Russia finally lets the US of A film in their country around important historical communist landmarks, and what is the first production to gain this honour...Police Academy 7.The first sequence in the film and straight away I notice a huge blooper! The news reporter on TV is playing with a Gameboy (I think), apparently playing a new popular game. On closer inspection, as we get close ups, you notice there isn't actually a game cart in the back of the GB, utter fail in the first five minutes.The plot kinda sounds OK when you think about it, the Russian mafia laundering money under the guise of a highly addictive and popular video game. The bad guys use this game to be able to hack into any computer system it has been played on, hence they are able to commit many crimes. So Lassard and his best men are brought in to bring down this Russian gang led by a well cast Perlman.The cast for this final outing is sparse, we still have Tackleberry, Jones, Callahan, and Harris, but we are missing many of the regular officers such as Hightower, Hooks, Proctor, Fackler, Nick Lassard and of course old Mahoney. This time without Nick Lassard as the Mahoney replacement, we have another replacement, this time for Nick Lassard! This new recruit looks like a young Matt McCoy (Nick Lassard) but has none of the charm, I'm not even sure why he's in the film really as he pretty much does nothing.That is the whole problem with this film, nothing actually happens. There aren't really any pranks, not many laughs, no training sequences (thank god) and not much plot excitement. There is one amusing sequence where Harris and Tackleberry join in on a Russian ballet performance in full get up, but that's about it really. There are some silly acrobatics from some Russian cops that seem to be mute, a mediocre car chase and a small hint of humour. Not even Harris or his Russian equivalent can help this film.Unfortunately its a poor exit for the franchise with this final film, the last film was quite good at times but this is really dull and not at all visually exciting, its all filmed on location in Russia but it looks grim. Cultural differences are of course used but none of it really works, its just not funny. The fact that Cmdt. Lassard spends half the film AWOL with a Russian family merely by accident just seemed like the writers had no idea what to do with him, he's virtually a cameo. Quick mention for Christopher Lee who looks quite good as the Russian Cmdt. but I have to wonder why he agreed to this bottom of the barrel flick. The final curtain falls on this quite historic franchise but not to a standing ovation I'm afraid, bit of a stinker.2/10

SnakesOnAnAfricanPlain The final nail is hammered into the coffin. Grossing less than $1,000,000 at the US box office and for good reason. The film relies on jokes about the Russians and their accents. Even Hooks, Hightower and Hurst fail to reappear. Gaynes is given top-billing, but is reduced to a "lost in Russia" subplot. Bailey has nobody to play off making his character the downer for the first time. He needs a Proctor to riff with. Lee and Perlman do their best with bad accents, but just aren't interesting. Winslow, Graf and Easterbrook are used too much, making their characters do things we're not familiar with. Schlatter is a kind of Mahoney, but he's never truly likable. Bad jokes, wasted characters, and a sense that nobody cares about what is going on, leaves this film as useless as you'd expect.

Michael DeZubiria Ah, so here we are. Rock bottom. The Police Academy series has been through a lot of ups and downs over the years. They seem to have been hugely popular during their times of release, and really, if you look at the numbers, it's not hard to see why such a prodigious stream of sequels was made. The first movie was made for a budget of around $4.5 million and brought in a stupendous $81 million at the box office. The second movie brought in $55 million, part 3 brought $43.5 million, part 4 $28 million, part 5 almost $20 million, part 6 a meager $5 million, and Mission to Moscow proudly raked in a whopping $126,000. If nothing else, the Police Academy franchise stands as a perfect example of a film series that was played out until it was officially a very, very dead horse.The awesomely moronic plot this time involves a Russian mafia boss named Konstantine Konali (played by none other than Ron Perlman, now better known as Hellboy), who is marketing a video game that he plans to use to secretly distribute a computer virus that will allow him to hack into government security systems and like, take over the world or something. The movie opens with a scene that is meant to show us how purely addicting this game is. We see a news report where a woman is giving her news report, and her co-anchor, a man in maybe his 50s or so, is sitting next to her oblivious what's going on because he's so entranced by the Game Boy he's playing. I imagine we weren't supposed to notice that there was no cartridge in the machine he's playing, but no matter. I'm willing to let that go in order to enjoy the avalanche of stupidity that was to follow. So why are the members of our beloved Police Academy in Moscow in the first place? Well, it seems that the Russians need help in dealing with the Russian mafia, so they have recruited the help of the most famous police academy in America. And mostly the gang is all here except for Mahoney and Zed, both of whom I am sad to say are missed. Lassard, of course, is his usual self, so he has gotten himself lost and ends up at a Russian funeral within a few hours of touching down in Moscow, so the rest of the team occupies themselves with trying to compile evidence against Konali while Harris follows along two steps behind waiting to jump in at just the right moment and claim credit for everything. As usual this provides plenty of opportunities for bonehead comedy, but they just pulled out all the stops with the low brow humor this time. Harris and Tackleberry end up dancing in full make-up and costume in a Russian ballet in one of the movie's most embarrassing scenes, Harris attempts to spy on Konali and instead gets a dog peeing in his eye through a periscope, and Jones has developed the ability to open safes with his noise effects. Sigh. In the movie's defense, it does have it's moments. Well, it has it's moment, anyway. There is a scene where Tackleberry jumps at the opportunity to give a speech to the Russian authorities about American law enforcement tactics, and he launches into a vicious beratement of the piddly "excessive force" policies that are tying his hands back in the states. Yeah, the movie is spectacularly stupid, but this might have been one of Tackleberry's two or three best scorns in the entire series. If you ever find yourself watching this thing on DVD, make sure to watch the short supplemental video that's included! I have to admit that I have found it particularly interesting and amusing to watch these videos for each installment in the series, where much of the original cast come back together and discuss the movies. I especially love G.W. Bailey (who played Captain Harris), who clearly has grown weary of having ever had anything to do with the series. In the video for part 5, he sarcastically mentioned people who would approach him years later and ask if he still had "Dork" tanned across his chest. For this one, it is noticeably difficult for him to conceal his resentment as he talks about his past in performing Shakespeare on stage, and now he's remembered for a dog peeing in his eye. Don't worry, Mr. Bailey, haven't you seen the box office for this movie? No one's seen it!

PathetiCinema What a classic. Indeed.It is about a group of silly policemen who go to Russia with their crazy personalities and cause much frivolity.I have never seen such funny scenes crammed into one movie. They should have extended this movie to 3 hours, indeed. So much was the 'plottings' and 'humourings'. Nice.I loved the scenes with the banana skin for the slipping on. I wet my pant at the sight of G.W. Bailey crashing through the wall. So funny.I dripped urine at the sight of the big boobed woman causing the Russians to get all hot and sweaty. Very funny, indeed.I laughed until I bled at the sight of Lassard coughing an egg into the mouth of the Russian guy, and laughed even harder when the Russian guy coughed the egg back into Lassard's mouth. I thought I was going to die! Luckily, I got away with a pair of split trousers. Such was my hilarity. Indeed.I am laughing as I write this. In fact, I think I've just split my pant. I must control my laughter. Excuse me a moment while I gather myself