UnowPriceless hyped garbage

Rio Hayward All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Philippa All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Geraldine The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

BA_Harrison Father Vicente (William Berger) catches pretty 15-year-old Maria (Susan Hemingway) flirting with her boyfriend, and has her sent to a convent where he can keep a closer eye on her. No sooner than she is cloistered, Maria is subjected to abuse, ultimately being forced to take part in a Satanic orgy, Vicente and the nuns all being followers of the devil (who makes a special personal appearance to take Maria's virginity!).I admit it: sometimes—okay, quite a lot of the time—I'm just not in the mood to labour over a really in-depth and informative movie review, and am just happy to rattle off some old rubbish to get it out of the way. I imagine this is how director Jess Franco must have tackled a lot of his films… just get the bloody thing in the can and start the next one. Sod the quality!Not so, however, with Love Letters From A Portuguese Nun, which feels like the director actually tried to make something a little more stylish than his usual dross: the locations and scenery are beautiful, the cast are half decent (there's no Lina Romay, whose 'beauty' I simply cannot comprehend), and the cinematography is classier than usual (fewer rapid zooms and out of focus shots). Hell, even the title is fancy schmancy.Unfortunately, at the end of the day, behind this semblance of style, it's business as usual for Franco, his film ultimately being another predictable slice of sleaze, with the vaguest of plots to string together the obligatory scenes of lesbianism, masturbation, orgies and torture, all of which eventually gets very boring. As Franco films go, this is far from his worst, but there are far better nunsploitation films out there (School of the Holy Beast and Sister Emanuelle spring to mind).

chaos-rampant Its spring and I find myself gravitating to films where girls explore themselves, I saw a few of them. Maladolescenza was self-serious and symbolic, lame about confrontation. The Czech film The Virgin and the Monster was childish but layered. Alucarda was delirious and fun. So I thought I would round up this batch with the requisite Jess Franco, with one of his most appreciated.Now my taste in European sleaze cinema runs to Rollin to Daughters of Darkness, which is a shorter step to the undressing of naked mind in Marienbad. In this one, as in Rollin, I appreciate the sensual simplicity, the transparent gaze of the camera.My god, though. It's sensual but utterly worthless.It has a hamfisted message against religion, I can get past that, it's a hamfisted religion. There is some noodling with what is in the tormented nun's head and what not, early on she confesses an erotic dream which informs a scene in reality. You can even roll on this the false fairytale ending, inspired by a letter she sends out. It could be a good film on layered dreams, but Franco simply won't let you indulge the pleasure. There's a solid bottom of contrived 'real' here, which only makes his visual wandering seem more and more ponderous. What irks is that instead of reveling in the flesh he undresses, all the time he has to insist he's depicting religious wrongs. Lame.

The_Void Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun is a surprisingly professionally made movie from the king of sleaze, Jess Franco. Usually with Franco, you can count on a very thin plot and loads of sex (usually involving lesbians), but this time it's the other way round. Of course, there's still lots of room for sex (no need to worry, Franco fans) but it's definitely a secondary element to the plot. This film fits into the corner of the horror genre known as 'nunsploitation'. This is my first ever taste of nunsploitation, so I cant comment on the niche on the whole; but if it turns out to be as interesting as it's title, it should be pretty good! This film follows Maria, a sixteen year old girl that is forced into a convent after the convent's leader manipulates her mother into thinking she's in league with the devil and destined for Hell. However, this isn't a Christian convent and rather than worshipping God, these guys are actually a band of Satanists! After being forced to perform sinful acts with various members of the convent (including the Dark Prince himself...), Maria tries to escape the convent.The message in this film is actually rather potent, and it exposes the hypocrisy of religion and, more specifically; the Christian church. The film manages to go even further than that too, with the idea of a sex scandal being pretty much timeless. Sex scandals are still a big part of our society's news stories, and I'm sure that they will continue to be; which gives this film an element of immortality where it's plot is concerned. The sex scenes are surprisingly brief, which is very surprising after watching the likes of Vampyros Lesbos and Bare Breasted Countess. The photography is smooth and nice to look at, leading me to believe that Jess Franco actually wanted to make a film, rather than just another of his usual quickies. Jess Franco made a lot of films over his career, a lot of which are forgettable rubbish; but this film hints that the man may have a lot more talent than his list of directorial credits suggests. Despite some silly sequences (such the Devil love making scene), this film is professionally handled and just well done on the whole. Maybe if Franco had put more effort into the quality of his films rather than the quantity, he would have a few masterpieces under his belt.

lazarillo Many people accuse Jesus Franco of being a talentless hack, but he has an amazing ability to bring artistry and watchability, and occasionally even a little class, to some of the most sordid subject matter. It's hard to rave unreservedly about a movie that features a naked sixteen-year-old girl stretched out on a rack and tortured with a pair of metal tongs--a movie whose subject manner includes masturbating priests, lesbian nuns, satanic ritual sodomy, and all other manners of depravity and blasphemy--yet it's a testament to Franco that the film remains highly watchable and even manages to be somewhat of a serious historical indictment of the Catholic church. Since this at first seemed to be another of Franco's sick WIP movies, I was initially curious why he had cast the unknown Susan Hemingway in a role usually played by Lina Romay, but it turned out to be a good choice. You actually feel sympathy for Hemingway's innocent-looking character when she's tortured and sexually abused by corrupt and lecherous nuns and clergy, whereas these scenes probably would have been merely crass titillation if Romay (who was many things but innocent wasn't one of them) had played the role. This movie makes you wonder what Franco could have done if he'd ever made a serious film that did NOT plumb the depths of sexual violence and human depravity. But I guess it wouldn't really be a Franco movie then, would it?