Vashirdfel Simply A Masterpiece

Platicsco Good story, Not enough for a whole film

Beanbioca As Good As It Gets

StyleSk8r At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

soulexpress Andy Milligan was a Staten Island-based DIY filmmaker whose product was uniformly Z-grade. His was always the last film shown on a triple bill at one of the seedy grindhouses that once dotted the American landscape. "Guru, the Mad Monk" is typical Milligan fare. Clocking in at barely an hour, it has the slapped-together look of a group of friends attempting cosplay and deciding to film it.It's 1480 and the oddly-named Father Guru (Neil Flanigan), a Catholic monk with two distinct personalities (one gentle, the other violent), oversees the Lost Souls Church on the remote island of Mortavia. This is where the rest of Europe sends its prisoners for execution or punishment--poked-out eyes or severed hands and feet (courtesy of department-store mannequins).Assisting Father Guru is Igor, a surprisingly articulate one-eyed hunchback, and Mother Olga (Jaqueline Webb), the head nun, who also happens to be a vampire. When Olga's not tripping over her lines without asking for retakes, she bares fangs from a Staten Island novelty store.The excrement hits the fan when when young Carl (Paul Lieber), who is in charge of the prisoners, decides to leave Father Guru's employ with his lovely fiancée, Najda (Judith Israel). This sets into motion a series of increasingly violent events that climaxes with Father Guru dead, swinging by his neck from the rope of a church bell.Other noteworthy items:During the opening credit sequence, the film's title is spelled out with alphabet refrigerator magnets.One of the prisoners is clearly dressed in 20th-century corduroy pants.Father Guru's tool kit includes a pair of 20th-century scissors, as well as a modern-day claw hammer.The actors repeatedly slip back into their native New York accents.In one scene, two characters converse while a motorcycle sits not ten feet away.

Rainey Dawn This is a B-film period piece that is much better that it's given credit for. I don't understand harsh criticism against this movie - it's not the greatest film of it's type but it's much better than it's rating and criticism.We have Father Guru - a monk that is, well, mad. He seems to have a split personality and has lost all of his faith. He relies on Olga, a vampire witch, and Igor, a hunchback that resembles Quasimodo, to help him with most all things - especially in exploiting the church and a God he no longer believes in.This costumes and sets are great - it's wonderful. The acting is not all that bad - better than I expected. Directing & cinematography is fine. The story is interesting.Give this one a try if you like vampires, witches, madmen, hunchbacks, monks and medieval themed films.7/10

tavm I just went on Google Video to watch this, one of a double feature presented on Torgo's Drive-In (the other feature being I Drink Your Blood which I have yet to see). At 56 minutes, I found this Andy Milligan-directed horror movie fascinating with the constant pounding score and Dragnet-like stilted dialogue abounding throughout. Having said that, I actually found the story pretty entertaining and I found myself partially caring for the sympathetic characters. Many of the gore scenes, while very amateurish, were also fun to watch in a can-you-believe-their-doing-this way. And having a hunchback that sometimes speaks clearly was also a hoot! So on that note, I'm recommending Guru, the Mad Monk to bad movie buffs everywhere. P.S. On Torgo's Drive-In, this movie was preceded by some ads for the concession stand and previews of Carnival of Blood, The Thing with Two Heads, and Teenage Mother. Oh, and the print I saw had the synchronization off by several seconds.

emm Thank God I had the chance to see this thing! Did you understand how I felt watching CARNIVAL OF BLOOD? Well, you ain't seen nothing yet! If you're one of the few lucky ones to read this message, prepare yourself to witness the greatest cinematic catastrophe mankind will ever encounter since Neil Armstrong landed on the moon! Before you start blabbing to your friends and loved ones that PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE is the worst movie ever made, tell them GURU THE MAD MONK is the most horrifying movie that ever existed! And I'm not talking about the things that go bump in the night! No, I'm talking about how experienced film producers with a college education would make such a BAD piece of cinematic trash for the whole world to see! At 57 minutes, Andy Milligan and friends created a rush job in getting this movie released to the local drive-ins in hopes of earning quick revenues. A bunch of poorly trained actors and a ludicrously atrocious script explains why. Things don't get any worse in Badmovieland!Get a barf bag, NOW!!! You'll be glad you did! Some of the highlights in GURU THE MAD MONK are light years beyond deliriousness. You won't believe the possibilities of the human senses! They include:***A bishop standing on Guru's cape and ripping it! You can actually hear the sound of it!***Olga, who stutters in her sentences and can't make up her mind on what to say!***A villager who gets executed in a small pair of corduroys!***The opening movie title made up of magnetic toy lettering!And much, much, MUCH more! Watch GURU THE MAD MONK all the way through for the first time without stopping and I'll guarantee you've survived a one-way ticket to Drive-In Hell with minor first-degree burns! I strongly recommend this one for viewers with bad taste and who are die-hard collectors of obscure cinema.Lord have mercy!!!!