Beanbioca As Good As It Gets

FirstWitch A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

Erica Derrick By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Dana An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

Red-Barracuda I find with Andy Sidaris, that his filmography began very well indeed with a couple of B-Movie classics in Malibu Express and Hard Ticket to Hawaii and ended on a couple, Day of the Warrior and Return to Savage Beach, that were also good even if it was mainly because they both featured the monumentally sexy duo of Julie K Smith and Shae Marks. But what I have also discovered is the films Sidaris made between his first two cheesetastic classics and final two sexploitation successes were far more uneven in quality and Guns is a perfect example of this. Like several others, it relies too much on its ropey and predictable plot and less on naked girls and general daftness. This one has a narrative so by-the-numbers it's difficult to recall it not long after viewing. The action set-pieces once again mainly constitute some explosions and some guns…well I guess the title might require at least a little of the latter in fairness. But Sidaris really needs his sexy ladies to ensure a good film and here – despite featuring the very appealing Dona Speir – they are marginalised too much and…well…don't in all honesty get naked enough. So what we have left is a fairly sub-standard action flick with a small side-order of eye candy, as opposed to the other way round, which is the formula that has been proved to be far better in most other Sidaris movies. The film is also marginally notable for featuring Erik 'CHiPs' Estrada as an illegal arms dealer and Danny Trejo in a henchman role, years before he broke through to a certain level of cult fame in Hollywood.

BA_Harrison Only five films into my 'Girls, Guns and G-Strings' Andy Sidaris box set and I'm already struggling to find new ways of describing what is essentially the same damn movie every time: the same actors; the same characters; the same location; the same silly ingredients.Guns replaces Sidaris regular Hope Marie Carlton with the equally gorgeous Roberta Vasquez and introduces a couple of reasonably cool B-movie stars as villains (Erik 'Ponch from CHiPs' Estrada and Danny 'Machete' Trejo)—everything else is exactly as one would expect: dumb plot; big breasted women in very skimpy outfits; hunks with bad hair; ridiculously large hand weapons; deadly remote control toys; and assorted men in drag (in this case, a pair of trannie assassins).With a fraction more action than usual (there are some nice 'n' bloody squib shots), Roberta Vasquez getting topless on a motorbike, and suitably nasty deaths for both Estrada and Trejo, this one is possibly my favourite of the series so far. Then again, it might not be. It's hard to tell.5.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 6 for IMDb.

dfour34 Boy...does this director Sidaris like to blow s**t up-but he just ain't good at it. The special effects look like they were staged in a six year olds sandbox. But you get some sweet eye candy in ex-Playboy Bunnies Dona Speir and Roberta Vasquez-unfortunately, both have no concept to emoting. And, without a doubt, you get (maybe) THE worst line ever uttered in a low-budget actioneer:As bombs (or whatever) are blowing up around poor Dona she grabs some kind of plastic assault rifle and hollers at her male partner "Don't just do something...stand there!" and proceeds to shoot up the horizon. How can you not love it?***** stars out of 10-mainly for the luscious Ms. Vasquez. BOING!

mangraa2 I've sat through some s***. Skateboard Kid 1 and 2. Uncle Sam. They didn't even compare to this. Just.. dear lord. If you're a masochist, rent it/watch it at 1:30 a.m. on Cinemax. Horrible dialogue horribly delivered by horrible actors in horrible sets with horrible special effects.