Unlimitedia Sick Product of a Sick System

GurlyIamBeach Instant Favorite.

Kidskycom It's funny watching the elements come together in this complicated scam. On one hand, the set-up isn't quite as complex as it seems, but there's an easy sense of fun in every exchange.

Erica Derrick By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

horrorflicklover I feel like half of this movie wasn't made. You know, the half where stuff actually happens? It's not that I'm against the occasional non-ending. Although I do agree with the sentiment that since the end of The Sopranos, it's been wholly overused, and is a terrible cop out. However, in certain applications, it can be acceptable. At any rate, this movie came out long before then.Doomsday Machine's non-ending fails so badly because it forgot to have anything else! It has a beginning and middle in the sense that in the time-space continuum, it must. But for the majority of the film, almost nothing of any real importance happens. I've seen more happen in a half-hour sitcom than I did in this movie. They announce the threat in about the time it takes you to read this sentence, then nothing, they make sexist jokes, then nothing, they launch them in to space, more nothing, more sexism, one "action" scene, more nothing, then finally the biggest nothing of all: the end. There isn't a single scene in this movie that's worthwhile. They even spend EIGHT minutes of screen time showing two astronauts fixing a computer. And they don't even show what they're doing! No joke, you're practically looking at a still frame for eight minutes. That's how little was going on. Consider the short run time, the already very little that took place, then consider that they included an eight minute scene of LITERALLY nothing to that. This was a final draft? It looks more like half of a rough cut.The one "action" scene in this movie was not only wholly inaccurate, it also wasn't any good. And the fact that they didn't actually attempt to make another scene or two that was at least on that level just proves that this movie is one big NOTHING. Seriously, all it would have taken to get a little more credibility was to have one or two other "dramatic action" sequences take place, and they failed at that. We got one scene that sucked.I'm not even going to complain about the sexism. For one, this movie is clearly camp. Two, I would look at it as more speaking as the attitudes of the time. I can accept that. But regardless of it's campiness, low budget, etc., it doesn't excuse the fact that this movie is 83 minutes of nothing. Sure, no one expected it to be great. But we did expect it to be more than nothing.If it was going to be a movie which could not be taken seriously, it could have at least went to one or two extremes. Either gratuitous mindless action, gratuitous mindless raunchiness, or both. But you get the smallest taste of either. Seriously, if you're the biggest camp fan in the world, you'll still not like this. It barely qualifies as being a movie.

mrb1980 Nuclear war and the end of civilization have been portrayed a number of times in films. The approach is generally sober and thoughtful (as in "Fail-Safe") due to the serious subject matter. I guess "The Doomsday Machine" is trying to be serious but the movie's so horrible that it's rather hard to tell.The film opens with the revelation that the bad-guy Chinese have developed a "doomsday machine" which is capable of wiping out Planet Earth. The all-male crew of the spaceship Astra is ready to blast off for Venus when at the last minute three women are substituted for three of the men. There's naturally some grousing about this, but the ship blasts off during a "military emergency", accompanied by the interminable sound of an emergency siren. Naturally, the Chinese do their thing, and the earth is destroyed. The crew is understandably dismayed about this series of events and begins to realize that the coed crew is expected to go forth and multiply. The rest of the movie is nothing more than one long argument among the crew, leading to an almost incomprehensible ending as the two surviving crew members orbit Venus.Grant Williams, Bobby Van, Ruta Lee, James Craig, Mala Powers, and Henry Wilcoxon aren't household names but have plenty of acting experience among them. However, each one of them is just dreadful in this film. The acting, script, and direction are so abysmal that staying to the end of the film is quite a challenge. Speaking of the ending—where is it? The film's continuity is legendarily terrible, since the Astra changes appearance multiple times as the movie goes along. The finale was apparently filmed several years after most of the footage, so the actors in the final sequence were not in the original cast, thus they appear in an almost-dark spaceship and are wearing space suits. The movie is really that bad, folks.Anyway, I bought this movie for $2.99 in a bargain bin at a local store. I'm beginning to think I paid too much.

CelluloidRehab The communist Chinese develop the gumball technology of doom, who's detonation force will "rupture the faults of the earth's surface and setup a chain reaction of explosions when the earth's tension is broken." For the lay person, this means that the Earth will be destroyed. The US response is to replace half of the all-male crew of Project Astra, who's goal was a mission to Venus for a 2 year trip, with a female crew. Instead of the planned mission, they become humanity's Adam & Eve/Noah's Ark insurance policy. Will humanity survive?There are two distinct movies here. The first part is a genuine attempt at a low budget science fiction narrative with a message (albeit derived & unoriginal) in the nature of Ikarie XB1. That movie dies suddenly somewhere over Venus. You are probably asking yourself how will you know when that is? Trust me, you'll know. It is when the second movie starts, all with different faceless-actors in a dark room doing stuff. This leads into stills & voice-over narrative. Fin.In the end all you remember is that a lot of painful, pointless dialog occurred, with female astronauts walking around a rocket in their pink robes. And then it all ends in a whimpering blaze (yes I know this is oxymoronic, but it is how I felt). You are not quite sure if anything ended, except the life span of several of your neurons. ad astra per alia porci.-Celluloid Rehab

classicsoncall I put together my Top Ten Worst Movie List some time ago, and find that it's going to be difficult for newcomers to bump any of those titles for the privilege. But "Doomsday Machine" looks like a definite contender, to the extent of making even "The Beast of Yucca Flats" look pretty good by comparison. I've read most of the other reviews on this board to know that I'm not alone on this, in fact it's pretty much an entirely one sided view that this groaner sets the standard for space junk in a vacuum.Interestingly, the only other place I've ever heard the word 'azimuth' was in another sci-fi space turkey, and wouldn't you know it, it popped up here in an early conversation aboard the Astra. Keep your eye on the clock that records the elapsed time following blast off, you'll note that it goes, 2:58, 2:59, and then 2:60 instead of 3:00, which makes perfect sense considering all the other goofy stuff that was going on.Like the selection of astronauts for the mission. Wouldn't you think that the men selected for this flight would have been among the most highly disciplined and talented that NASA had to offer? So how does a guy like Major Mason (Grant Williams) go from seasoned professional to a raving sex maniac? Not a whole lot of thought was put into this.No sense belaboring the point, this was one sad effort in the name of science and cinema. While I'm trying to make up my mind about that aforementioned Worst List, I'll have to reconsider another flick with the same destination. Up till now, I thought "First Spaceship on Venus" had a lock on interplanetary travesties, but now I know better.