Do Not Fold, Spindle, or Mutilate

1971
6.4| 1h13m| en| More Info
Released: 09 November 1971 Released
Producted By: ABC Productions
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Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
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Synopsis

Four elderly ladies with a lot of time on their hands get the idea to create a fictional "girl" for a computer dating service. However, things take a turn for the worse when their description of the "girl" attracts a psychopath.

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Reviews

Pacionsbo Absolutely Fantastic
Cooktopi The acting in this movie is really good.
Hayden Kane There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes
Isbel A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.
mark.waltz The very same year that this T.V. movie came out, one of the four actresses in it (Mildred Natwick) appeared in the short-lived Kander and Ebb musical "70, Girl, 70", proving that if you wanted to see old folks, you were in the wrong hall that night. Natwick, Myrna Loy, Helen Hayes and Sylvia Sidney are long-time friends with pranksterous natures who concoct all sorts of harmless schemes basically to distract them from their boring lives that consists of "tee many martuni's" and lunch pretty much every day that consists of two coffee's, two tea's and the same entree's for each of them. Having gone from prank to prank week after week and drink after drink, they now decide to try computer dating, posing as a single young lady and unfortunately attracting a psychopathic sadomasochist (Vince Edwards) who kills a prostitute, thinking it to be the young women these women invented, and then going after the four ladies after realizing how he was duped. "General Hospital's" chief of staff, John Beradino, becomes a police captain here, and his reactions to the feistiness of these delightful old ladies are priceless, especially one moment alone with Hayes who is just as delightfully lovable here as she was in the previous year's "Airport" for which she won an Oscar the year this TV movie originally aired. Three of these stars (Loy and Hayes, at MGM, and Sidney, at Paramount) were major leading stars in the 1930's, and Natwick was a major Broadway leading lady until moving into film character roles. Each of them get distinctive personalities, with the raspy Sidney having an amusing drunk scene, the seemingly sober Hayes a delicious hung over scene, Loy the most sophsticated with her droll responses, and Natwick slightly eccentric. Even with an outlandish plot and a not so great script, it is the four ladies who makes a silk purse out of a sow's ear, leading to a series just 2 years later reuniting Hayes and Natwick ("The Snoop Sisters") that had them playing different characters with similar personalities. Edwards plays a rather creepy, perverted character with obvious violent tendencies, but it's obvious that he's no match for these four feisty senior citizens who might seem like cartoon characters with a tweetie bird, black cat and umbrella but can definitely take care of themselves. As Hayes says, "It certainly has been one hell of a day, hasn't it girls?"
thursdaysrecords This is the perfect vehicle for veteran actresses Helen Hayes, Myrna Loy, Mildred Natwick and Sylvia Sidney. Four little old ladies living comfortably in Pasadena, reminiscing about their youth. Their flavor of the month pass time is participating in a computer dating service as a joke. Surely, this would be more amusing than their last adventure, when they decided to fill out military draft forms. Their little game leads to a string of unfortunate events, including the murder of a young prostitute. What could have been made into a serious formula detective drama was helped by clever and amusing dialog, and the absolutely delightful quartet of aging stars, each in the typical character played so many different times over their long screen and stage careers: Sidney as the chain-smoking busybody, Natwick as the old-maid type always flattered by any attention given to her by men, Loy as the reasonable adult in the room, and Hayes as the lovable old lady with an answer for everything, for which she had just won the Academy Award the year before.This is definitely entertainment of the 1970s, but a smart script like this one will be appreciated by audiences of all ages for generations to come. And, yes, that's "Dr. Ben Casey" as the unstable chauvinist, playing much against his beloved 1960s TV character. - This Comedy-Drama will bring joy to anybody out there with a flair for Hollywood Nostalgia. They don't write stories like this anymore, and they certainly no longer have the likes of real stars to play the parts.
summerfields Having not seen this (made-for-TV-I believe) film since I was 11 years old in 1971, it was not as good as I remembered it to be, unfortunately. The cast is great fun and first-rate. Helen Hayes is a hoot playing 7O year-old Sophie T. and Myrna Loy, Sylvia Sidney & Mildred Natwick are fine in their parts.Watching this movie last night, I realized how very dated it has become, and even the sound quality was very bad - plus the color looked cheap and faded. There ARE some really funny one-liners and the four old gals work beautifully together but the film as a whole dates badly.As a whole, this movie is a 1971 curio, based on the Doris Miles Disney novel of the same name. If you can accept it's out-moded notions, sit back and have fun!
blanche-2 This movie was the possible inspiration for the TV movie and series that followed, "The Snoop Sisters." This cast is even more formidable than the Snoop Sisters - instead of two elderly ladies, this has four. And what a group! Helen Hayes, Mildred Natwick, Sylvia Sidney, and Myrna Loy. Poor Vincent Edwards doesn't have a chance against them. The bored ladies decide to fill out a computer dating form, using an imaginary woman, of course, and wind up with a very eager Edwards.Computer dating has come a long way, but alas, it's still pretty easy to attract a character like Edwards. The four women are adorable and it's worth it just to have a chance to watch them in action. Hayes and Natwick went on to play elderly detectives in "The Snoop Sisters."