TrueJoshNight
Truly Dreadful Film
ThiefHott
Too much of everything
ThrillMessage
There are better movies of two hours length. I loved the actress'performance.
zardoz-13
Before he directed "Alien Nation" with James Caan, Graham Baker helmed the first feature-length film about the legendary Danish warrior of antiquity named Beowulf. Appropriately entitled "Beowulf," this estimated $3.5 million medieval fantasy adventure set in the distant but undetermined future after a presumed apocalypse generates an adequate amount suspense and action. People who have perused the poem and passionate about it will probably revile this actioneer with a techno-musical soundtrack. Audiences that don't care about liberties being taken with venerable literary material may have a greater appreciation for this low-brow but entertaining spin on the classic. Nothing in the way of modern conveniences remains, and everybody dresses in leather or lace as if they lived in the 8th century. Basically, you've got "Mad Max" clashing with "Excalibur." The weapons reflect the influence of an advanced society, and Hrothgar's unique castle is eye-catching. Leading man Christopher Lambert of the "Highlander" franchise appears on horseback with a peroxide blond coiffure. He is a warrior who knows a thing or two about combat. Cast as the eponymous hero, Lambert benefits from a memorable entrance into the action. He rides up to a perimeter established by an opposing kingdom as these brutes are about to cut a poor woman in two pieces. The site of a giant chopping table with a huge straight-razor poised over it gives you some idea what to expect from this swashbuckler. Lambert plays the pugnacious hero with his usual taciturnity and gimlet-eyed expressions. Surely, somebody stunted for Lambert because I don't for a moment believe that he could execute all those elaborate back-flips. After he slays a score of warriors, Beowulf convinces the opposition to release the poor girl who fled from the castle allow him passage so he can visit King Hrothgar (Oliver Cotton of "Firefox") and help him with his monstrous problem. Hrothgar's daughter Kyra (Rhona Mitra of "Underworld 3") looks pretty fetching in those tight outfits. As Grendal's mother, Layla Roberts is just as seductive and her transformation scene during the finale is worth checking out. Future "Tomorrow Never Dies" Bond villain Götz Otto plays the stalwart Roland who wields a big sword. A monster prowls 'the Outpost' as Hrothgar calls his castle. Lurid sex works its way into the Mark Leahy & David Chappe screenplay as Grendal's mom appears initially as a succubus to King. Beowulf behaves like a bittersweet hero and rejects Kyra's initial passes. The film replicates events that occurred in the ancient poem. Grendal's severed arm hanging from the ceiling is one such example. Leahy and Chappe depict the demise of Grendel's son and death of his mother, but they didn't have enough dough to depict the encounter with the dragons. I don't think that I have ever seen anybody shove a sword into their victim and twist it with the hilt. "Beowulf" cannot compare with later versions of the Anglo-Saxon poem, but it is superior to the usual run of this stuff.
Stewart Ash
This film is so bad it's brilliant! I've never laughed so much out loud at a film in my life. Not even when watching a comedy; which this isn't. Imagine the production quality of the "Evil Dead" films, and the acting from the TV series "Sunset Beach", add a dash of soft porn, and a sprinkle of visual effects done by some blind students, and you have a truly entertaining evening in. And hang on in there till the end when you might actually fall off your seat in shock. If you catch the DVD with the making of documentary. It's even more astonishing that they all truly felt that they were working on great movie. Monsieur Lambert at his cheesy best.
HaemovoreRex
The opening title sequence in this (an almost carbon copy of the Mortal Kombat intro) is pretty much indicative of exactly what to expect from the rest of this flick. Sure enough, here is a highly derivative story (based upon the epic historical poem) involving lots of sword play, a seemingly indestructible beastie and plenty of heaving cleavage on display……and that in a nutshell sums up the film.In fact, there really isn't much more to say about this unremarkable sci-fi entry although make no mistake, as long as you don't expect too much from it, then it may well provide some fair enjoyment.I say unremarkable, but to be equitable there are one or two factors which lift it above the norm. For instance, the setting in this is indeed intriguing; it may or may not be on earth although the time frame is presumably in the future, after some sort of apocalypse perhaps for here we have a visually lavish fusing of the medieval with the futuristic. Also of note are the rather spectacular array of weapons that are employed throughout the movie; again, representative of a fusing of historical and the futuristic.Script wise this really has to be said to be scraping the very bottom of the barrel but if you can overlook this factor and a few decidedly dodgy performances and enjoy the film for what it is i.e. an action fantasy, then this may well serve as an entirely harmless time filler.
cagekicker
I've read a couple different versions of Beowulf (the lady at the used bookstore couldn't believe I was reading it because I wanted to as opposed to needing to for a class), and I love the story.When I saw that there was going to be a sci fi version of the story, I had high hopes. I thought to myself, "Self, this could be very cool." Sadly, I was very disappointed when I rented the movie and sat down to watch it.As the ending credits rolled by, my only comment was that all involved should commit a ritual suicide in order to atone for their sins. I'm not going to burden you with any further comment. Make your own decision as to whether or not you choose to watch this movie. I wash my hands, and take no responsibility for your actions.Good day.
