ReaderKenka
Let's be realistic.
Chirphymium
It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional
Humaira Grant
It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.
JoeB131
so once again, Charles Band has one of his movies where monsters slowly pick off hot chicks.This one involves names of creatures from Irish Folklore he managed to wiki or google or something. These girls are all on a Top Model Reality show, even though none of these women could pass for an actual model. (The obligatory "nice girl" is a bit on the chunky side.) So the Tyra Banks stand in has this bracelet of Lucky Charms that allows her to control beings. But it's a bit confusing. Did she just learn to summon them that day? Anyway, the mythical beings aren't really keen on being used to kill young women to make her younger.I do give the "little person' who played Farr Darrig credit for putting the most into his inane dialog. I have less good to say about the models, not a one of them could act. It also has a depressingly low body count for a Chuck Band movie. These monsters are really underachievers.
Woodyanders
A quintet of beautiful women fiercely compete with each other to become the top spokes model for a high end line of lingerie designed by formidable diva DeeDee DeVille (strongly played with deliciously wicked relish by Jeryl Prescott). Unbeknownst to the ladies, DeeDee has invoked four mythical beings from an ancient charm bracelet so she steal the gals' souls and remain young forever. Director Charles Band relates the entertaining story at a zippy pace and maintains a generally serious tone throughout. The compact and engrossing script by August White and Kent Roudebush offers a neat twist by making the monsters the reluctant pawns of an evil human instead of all-out nasty beasts. Moreover, the creatures are a cool and colorful bunch, with Peter Badalamenti as lecherous cyclops Bloody Bones and especially Nathan Phillips as bitter and disgusted leprechaun Farr Darrig rating as the definite stand-outs. The bevy of sexy babes certainly doesn't hurt matters any: Tiffany Thornton as sweet goody goody two shoes Audrey, Nikki Leigh as the insecure and self-conscious Sheila, Masuimi Max as the determined Mika, Alex Rose Wiesel as ruthless arrogant bitch Darla, and Ana Sophia Berglund as ditsy slut Erin. In addition, there are amusing performances from Seth Peterson as the effeminate Pirl and Charlie O'Connell as slimy producer Baxter Randolph. Howard Wexler's crisp cinematography and Richard Band's shivery Celtic-flavored score are both up to par. A fun little fright flick.
richieandsam
UNLUCKY CHARMSThe second terrible movie of my birthday night was Unlucky Charms. I thought that it couldn't get much worst after Piranhaconda... but I was so wrong.Unlucky Charms is about a reality TV show for models. They are all trying to get the top prize, but one of the judges has got a magic charm bracelet that lets out these creatures who kill off the contestants so that she can have their souls and stay looking young.Sounds rubbish right? It was worst than that.I honestly can only think of one good thing to say about this movie. There was one character in the film that I really liked. He was one of the creatures and he had this huge mouth. The mask and make up was terrible, but I just thought he looked really good.The story was so bad... I hate these reality shows anyway... so to make a movie from it is just hell foe me. The only reality show that appeared in a story that I loved was Dead Set. I can't stand watching these women pretty much begging to be a model. I can't think of anything worst.The acting was diabolical. Every single person in this film should never be put in front of a camera again! Name and shame time... Jessica Lou Allen, Peter Donald Badalamenti II, Roman Beetz, Sophia Beetz and Anna Sophia Berglund... lower your heads in shame.Again just like Piranhaconda, there were plenty of half naked women posing and bouncing about for absolutely no reason. In the end we were just laughing, saying we should get a clicker to count how many times there are pointless shots of women's butts.The worst part for me was the fact that this film didn't even have the comedy value. I laughed a few times at pretty much everything in this film, but once you got about 30 minutes in, there is not much laughter after that.The effects and make up were terrible. You could clearly see the monsters were just wearing rubber masks. They didn't even attempt to blend in the eye sockets. what a joke.I suggest avoiding this film at all costs... it is close to being one of the worst movies I have seen... not quite though.I will give this film 2 out of 10.Not even worth a quote!For more reviews, please like my Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ordinary-Person-Movie- Reviews/456572047728204?ref=hl
torreyian
I didn't expect a lot from this movie. Thought it would be stupid fun. It looked like your classic, B-grade slasher film. I was expecting cheesy monsters, little plot, with a little bit of nudity and lots of graphic deaths. I was very pleasantly surprised. This turned out to be one of the best written movies I've seen recently. The acting wasn't great and the effects were weak. But the writing made up for all of that. It was a compelling story, with deep, interesting characters and it included one of the best integrated exposition dialogs I've ever seen. My only complaint is that there was a point where they seemed to rush for time, so the end seemed hurried. But the rest of the film makes up for that. This is a must watch film.
