TrueJoshNight Truly Dreadful Film

FeistyUpper If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

Pluskylang Great Film overall

Invaderbank The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

one-nine-eighty A bit of a stinker, unfortunately I agree with the majority of the low ratings for this film. It's supposed to be your modern day slasher/horror film with pretty young people and mean bad guys who are stalking them at every turn. The theory is that watermen - or fishermen really - are taking groups of tourists for a bit of an adventure, unbeknown the tourists it's all a big trap to get them and make bait out of them to attract the big fish. A series of events occur culminating in the tourists being trapped on an island only to fight for their lives from the seamlessly indestructible fisherman. I won't lie, I was drawn into watching this being a fan of Jason Mewes in other roles/films. Unfortunately the Jason Mewes in other films is exactly what appears in this films, it's practically like 'Jay and Silent Bob' had a disagreement and an angry 'Jay' has decided to work to go on a holiday to a horror film - that's how much acting variation you will see, none. The rest of the cast are equally hammy and woody in parts which made the film drag along slowly. Worse than the acting was the stupid story which was riddled with plot holes and mistakes. It's obviously filmed on a low budget but it takes itself too seriously and tries to be "The Hills have Eyes" or "Texas Chainsaw massacre" on water - at this it fails dramatically. Because the film takes itself too seriously despite a bad story there isn't even ironic amusement in this. I'm afraid this is one of those films which I have watched once and will try to avoid henceforth, it's a "I'm glad I watched it so you don't have to" kind of film. Because I'm feeling generous I'll award a 3 star, if I had been writing this review straight after watching the film I may have been angry and only awarded a 2 so Matt L. Lockhart (director), you got off lucky today.

skorkk Wow, this movie is really as bad as everyone says. In the laziest plot in the world a group of attractive young adults go on a boating trip and when the boat breaks down they get kidnapped by a bunch of redneck fishermen/pirates/whatever. Sound predictable so far? Well the cliché's don't stop there so you can probably guess what happens in the rest of the movie without me having to go into too much explanation.The most horrific thing about this movie though is the blatant misogynistic tone throughout. I know the horror genre has always had a reputation for being slightly sexist, but this movie is just unbelievable. The male protagonists spend most of their time wandering around in circles before jumping in to save the day. All the while the females get attacked, tortured, molested and raped by the bad guys. Even when guarded with weapons the three women can't take on one man because all he has to do is walk towards them and they'll simply stand there and cry. This is despite the fact that they obviously have extremely high pain thresh holds because straight after getting raped they can just run around like normal.As for the bad guys themselves, well you'll find scarier characters in an episode of Eastenders. We're supposed to believe that six young athletic adults would struggle to get away from these idiots when a herd of donkeys should be able to outsmart them with ease. The basically just look like a bunch of homeless guys in raincoats. Don't ask me where they're supposed to be from because I'm none the wiser after watching it. In some scenes they just use the stereotypical American hillbilly accent, in others they use god knows what accent and speak in broken English. Half the movie they don't seem to speak in English at all! The acting, although not great, is nowhere near as bad as you'd expect. I've seen a LOT worse in other horror movies that probably had a bigger budget than this. I was surprised to see Jason Mewes star in this. I know he's not exactly A list these days but didn't think his career had gotten this bad just yet. After seeing the whole movie though and realising what a small part he plays, it's obvious he must have been paid a significant amount to do very little and get a top billing.Any good points? Well one of the actors has a smokin body and spends most of the third act with his shirt off. Apart from that....NOPE!

Psy-Ko I know part of the reason I liked it is because I grew up on the Chesapeake down in Tidewater, VA but that's not the only reason. It was as fun and believable as any other slasher flick. Does anyone really expect a slasher to be believable? I think back to other "classic" slashers like Friday the 13th, The Hills Have Eyes or Texas chainsaw and ask myself did these other reviewers think they were believable or did they think the characters in those made all the right decisions? I guess my point is if you want slick, pretty and believable you're watching the wrong type of movies. Go for the big budget, big names, Hollywood blockbusters and even then you're going to be disappointed most of the time.What I did find in this movie was better acting then in most B movies. I'm not talking about the way the characters were written but the actual delivery of lines. They were more natural then a lot of B movies. Not saying these guys will be getting awards but it was passable. The story itself was decent, sure it was far fetched but again what hillbilly, slice em & dice em, slasher fest isn't? The best part of all I thought was the production quality and as someone else said the camera-work. It didn't have that B-movie feel. I thought it was pretty slick looking for the money they had according to IMDb. Pyros & FX were decent as well. I guess my biggest complaint would be I couldn't always understand what the watermen were saying, nor could I always tell which was which. But I didn't need either of those things really, they were just "The Watermen" and they were the bad guys.So if you want slick and you want academy winning actors maybe you should go see something like Prometheus (notice I didn't say believable) but if you just want a fun slasher with some nice visuals to waste an afternoon with check this one out.

David Holt (rawiri42) Having read some of the other 14 reviews of The Watermen, I was almost tempted not to watch it (even though I was given a copy for free). Come on people, you knew before you watched this movie that is was a low- budget, no-big-name (including the director) effort!Sure, it was no blockbuster either but it wasn't all THAT bad! Sure, there were some rather stupid bits - like, for example (and as someone else pointed out) where the last surviving "good guy" insists on going back to the place of absolute terror "to get medical supplies" - NO ONE in such a situation would EVER make such an idiotic suggestion! But, allowing for the fact that no viewer has ever BEEN in such a situation, how do we know how we might behave? Has anyone thought about that?Sure, the plot was somewhat bizarre (to say the least) - but then aren't most horror movies like that? I mean, no one who was dead came back from the dead - again and again - as they do in some much higher-rated horror flicks. I would have liked to see some of the bad guys get more graphically dealt with - like, at least as bad as they were dishing out and there is no doubt that the avid horror-flick addicts would have appreciated that but, all-in-all, The Watermen was all that bad and, contrary to what someone suggested, a lot more fun than watching grass grow!