Freaktana A Major Disappointment

Baseshment I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

CrawlerChunky In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

Nayan Gough A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

martindale-42141 Took an absolutely amazing, well written thriller novel, and turned it into a gory monster movie. The best characters were left out, key plot points were abandoned, and characters died when they couldn't have due to the following books. Even if I hadn't read the book I still would've hated this more than the horrid adaption of Timeline by Michael Crichton.

Scott LeBrun Ultimately, "The Relic" all feels familiar enough to prevent it from being anything really special, but it's actually decently directed and produced and does get a fair amount of mileage out of its central location. The cast is above average, the music appropriate, the atmosphere respectable, and the effects - a combination of practical and digital - are generally well done. Those familiar with the source novel by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child could understandably be disappointed, especially with the elimination of some of the best characters, such as Smithback the reporter and Prendergast the FBI agent. But "The Relic" does kill time easily enough, and should be adequately entertaining for creature feature junkies.The description ""Alien" in a museum" is apt, as the story deals with an enormous, continuously evolving form of life that makes its home in the bowels of the Natural History Museum in Chicago. Of course, this is bad timing, as the museum is about to launch an all- important exhibit designed to pull in investors. The hero on the case is superstitious police detective Vincent D'Agosta (Tom Sizemore), who's assisted by sexy researcher Margo Green (Penelope Ann Miller).Sizemore is engaging in one of his earliest lead roles; Miller is likewise quite appealing. The supporting cast includes such familiar and reliable actors as Linda Hunt, James Whitmore, Clayton Rohner, Robert Lesser, Lewis Van Bergen, Constance Towers, Francis X. McCarthy, Audra Lindley, John Kapelos, Tico Wells, Gene Davis, John DiSanti, David Proval, Eddie Jemison, and Don Harvey. Director Peter Hyams shot the movie himself, but unfortunately he tends to under light scenes too much of the time. Action scenes are not always that coherent. But once the lights go out, things do start to get genuinely spooky and exciting. The monster design is courtesy of Stan Winston and studio, and they do their usual bang-up job.Good fun overall.Seven out of 10.

Hitchcoc One of my guilty pleasures is the collaborative efforts of Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. I chanced up a copy of "Cabinet of Curiosities," a book in the middle of their combined canon. I wondered what else they had written, and so in the middle of my more serious reading, I went back and read all their books, including the one this film is based on. It is a bit of a ripoff of the 1931 Karloff "The Mummy." Things are brought back by museum curators for a huge exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. Of course, it unleashes a horror that brings death and destruction. There is a lot of the "jump out of the shadows" stuff, but the special effects aren't bad and it is pretty engaging. The two principle characters who appear in most of the books begin a bit of a relationship here. It has the pat technique of the arrogant, self-centered, selfish people victimized first. The museum provides a neat backdrop (it has all kinds of secret places, underground heating systems, doors that haven't been opened for a long time). It's a great place for a murderous beast to ply its trade. There are several literary sequels; however, this wasn't a big money-maker and I wonder if anyone will put up the money or commitment to try again.

zardoz-13 Even the most jaded horror movie addicts may find themselves squirming in parts of Peter Hyams' murky but well-made creature feature "The Relic" starring Penelope Ann Miller and Tom Sizemore. Meanwhile the faint of heart may want to reconsider enduring this experience. You'll lose count of the number of severed heads. You'll also lose count of the number of times that the filmmakers dare you to accompany heroes and victims down a catacomb of spooky hallways. Special effects wizard Stan Winston has created a huge, slimy, lizard critter with tusks for "The Relic" that would give "Alien," "Predator," and those "Jurassic Park" raptors a run for their money."The Relic" is basically a haunted house chiller. Most of its grisly action occurs inside a creepy Chicago museum, within scores of shadowy corridors, labs, and staircases. A dinosaur reptile of amazing agility prowls these premises and feasts on flesh. Mainly, this hybrid monster tears your head off and munches a chunk of your brains. The melodramatic script pays homage to scary sagas such as "Jaws," "Alien," and "Jurassic Park." Penelope Ann Miller plays a dedicated but cute evolutionary biologist who pedals a bicycle to work and worries about who'll fund her research. She shares many of Ripley's heroic characteristics from the "Alien" franchise, except Penelope doesn't perform a strip tease for the monster. She keeps her clothes on and relies on her wits to outsmart the creature. Burly Tom Sizemore abets her as a superstitious Windy City cop. He wants to close the museum, but the mayor needs it open for a gala fund raiser.Naturally, the monster crashes the gala and heads roll. When the monster isn't terrifying the rich, the museum becomes an obstacle course. The monsters shuts down the power, and the wealthy patrons find themselves trapped in the dark, rained on by fire sprinklers. "The Relic" aspires to be more than just a horror movie. The worst thing about "The Relic" is its surplus of plot. What might have been a small horror movie turns into not only a big-scale scary movie, but also a disaster movie. The film opens with a jungle witchcraft scene that is supposed to frighten but winds up being incomprehensible. The filmmakers then build the plot and introduce their array of characters before the finally unleash the beast. Part of the time the scenarists clobber us with a load of scientific, computer gibberish that makes the movie sound realistic. Interestingly, everything that the monster devours becomes part of its DNA and guides it behavior.Peter Hyams lights the museum as if it were the space ship in "Alien." Hyams, who helmed "Outland" and "Running Scared," aims to scare the daylights out of you. He resorts to every tried-and-true truck to elicit paranoia and hype suspense. If you aren't family with how horror movies manipulate their audiences, you may find some scenes in "The Relic" a little intense. Predictability, of course, paralyzes the plot because Hyams spends too much time trying to be like other horror movies so that it breaks little new ground. But the effects may be gruesome enough that you forget the formula that the story follows. Hyams gets great help from composer John Debney whose tense, dramatic orchestral score heightens the tension."The Relic" qualifies as a good horror movie boosted by glossy production values. This chiller is worth seeing at least once while you're searching for a genuine classic.