SoTrumpBelieve Must See Movie...

Phonearl Good start, but then it gets ruined

Pacionsbo Absolutely Fantastic

Taha Avalos The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

jimevarts The "hero" of this movie is an 80-year-old park ranger who solves all problems by cracking a whip. The bad guys are a group of four Toltec zombies wearing hilarious masks. Except one. One of them looks like a party dude who does nothing but skillfully flip tomahawks in his hands. Spoiler alert (this movie was already pretty spoilt, though):The "plot" is four thirtysomething college girls rent a house together. The house has no phone and they don't have cars. Said house is located on a plot of land where some Toltec wizards are buried. They come to life and attack* the girls. Eventually, the girls kill 3 of them, and the fourth one ends up having a whip-off with the 80-year-old park ranger, which ends when the ranger whips the zombie's head off. *Attack = stand near them and shake and make grunting sounds while the girls scream50% of the move is people complaining repeatedly and taking things that are neatly arranged and tossing them around. 25% is people explaining things to each other so the audience knows what's going on. The other 25% is comical chasing, grunting, and screaming. And whip-cracking. Dear Lord, the whip-cracking!Along the way, the zombies kill a few guys and two of the girls. That sentence is actually more exciting and scary than the actual death scenes. Not to mention once the characters are killed, you completely forget they ever existed. I put this movie somewhere above Suburban Sasquatch and below Birdemic in cinematic quality, plot, and writing.

Tikkin Wow, what a cheesy movie this is! It starts off looking like it's gonna be a backwoods slasher, with the camera following dogs running through the woods. It then gets a bit boring and follows the story of some girls moving into some house haunted by Indian spirits. We then get plenty of shots of one partially clad girl and another naked girl in the bath. It suddenly gets really cheesy when the "Zombie Indians" arise from the earth and start terrorising the girls. We even get a samurai Indian. This movie starts off pretty boring although I did find the story of the four Indians who buried themselves alive quite interesting. Once the Indian zombies (or whatever you want to call them for they aren't technically zombies) start terrorising the girls is when all the fun begins. This is not a special flick and can't be taken seriously, it's just something fun to watch when you're bored or when you're drinking with friends. I can't help thinking though that it would have worked better as a short story because the first half is tediously boring.

Big Squirrel This film started off really tense when a poor young boy is set upon by a pack of savage dogs. After a tense chase he is saved by said grandpa with magic whip.We are then introduced to a string of annoying house mates, including one tart who is always half dressed. During this stage the film heightens tension with strange "plinky plinky" background noises that had me on the edge of my seat.I stopped paying attention for a while but when I looked back on the screen there where weird creature type things going around grunting and killing. One word of advice if you are ever trapped in your home by some nutter - get some cardboard boxes and a tray.Although we did skip half the film, because it was totally non interesting or memorable, we are now at the stunning conclusion, the last surviving creature thing fights a "Whip Duel" with grandpa and his magic whip. I wont say what happens here, but I can say the whip battle is full of tension, with aerial fights, split level fights and all manner of drama.I am now going to shove this film through the door of a neighbour i don't like.

m_deathbringer Okay, this is a mid-80's movie about the spirits of the dead returning to have their revenge on the living. So you pretty much expect cheesy-looking zombies who have no consistency in their behaviour, a bunch of stupid, screaming college students who are only there as splat-fodder, leaving the (mildly) more likable ones behind to be saved in the nick of time by a hugely unlikely hero, who utters the line "I'm getting too old for this" at least once. You also expect some pretty gory moments where hands and heads come off and blood stains the grass, and cringe-worthy dialogue like "Die, you corpse!"...and, you get it with this movie XD.The only real complaint is that the Zombies are not really zombies, they are just menacing undead creatures who run around with sharp weapons (well, two of them do, the other two just run around and fumble at their victims while making dubbed grunt/moan noises) and kill people. This is a pretty good splatter movie to kill a hour or so with i suppose. You even see some titties!, and it features a similar racial theme to "Night of the living dead", except handled much more clumsily, with all the subtlety you would expect from an 80's splatter flick. Great viewing all round, but don't pay more than £6!Tally (yeah, i decided to incorporate this in all my reviews): Sex: 1/10, Drugs: 0/10, Rock 'n roll: 2/10, Zombies: 7/10, Classic cars: 0/10, Splatter: 6/10