Kirandeep Yoder
The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.
BA_Harrison
A group of students, testing soil samples in a forest as part of a science project, chance upon a wild-man trapped in a (very flimsy looking) wire cage. Rather stupidly, they decide to release the caged man, who proceeds to tear the dumb kids limb-from-limb.Just like his debut feature-length movie, 'Jack Brooks, Monster Slayer', which wastes over an hour going nowhere, Jon Knautz's early 'home-made' short Teen Massacre (available as an extra on the 'Jack Brooks, Monster Slayer' DVD) suffers from spending too long in introducing it's (irritating) characters: half of it's running time is wasted on inane chit-chat when it would have been more wisely spent delivering what the title promises (although at least, in this instance, the 'padding' only amounts to six minutes).Still, once the teens eventually begin to be massacred, things start to look up a little. Despite its ultra-cheap production values, lousy acting, and terrible script, this energetic effort succeeds in being fairly entertaining thanks to plenty of OTT bargain-basement splatter FX achieved using buckets of home-made blood and off-cuts from the local butcher shop: a throat is ripped out, an arm is torn off and thrust down the victim's throat, and entrails are yanked out left, right and centre.Teen Massacre may have been made for peanuts by a bunch of amateurs with more enthusiasm than experience, but I think I actually prefer it very slightly to the bigger budgeted and more polished 'Jack Brooks'. Thus it gets a slightly better rating: 4.5/10 (although it's still not good enough to round up to a 5).
