TrueJoshNight
Truly Dreadful Film
VividSimon
Simply Perfect
SnoReptilePlenty
Memorable, crazy movie
FeistyUpper
If you don't like this, we can't be friends.
Michael Ledo
The film opens with a teaser scene that takes place 6 minutes from the end of the film. The town of Plainview is lucky enough to have a new casino, one that takes their money. Jake Rivers (Thomas Downey) is an honest hard working mechanic who helps out the town folk. He lives in a trailer with his wife Grace (Elisabeth Röhm) who works at the town diner and his sister Skye (Kayla Carlyle) who is a cocktail waitress at the casino.When a rock from a casino construction truck breaks Jake's windshield, he visits the Casino manager (Vinnie Jones) which doesn't end well as the tit-for-tat escalates until we have an Ocean's 9 er ah River 9 caper.This doesn't have the greatest plot or action. The attraction is the characters. Jamie Kennedy plays a half-wit. Leslie Easterbrook is a cougar. Neil Brown Jr. is another half-wit. Recommend as a rentalGuide: Sex. No real nudity. No F-bombs that I recall.
dskaradz
"Rivers Nine"? Doesn't it remind you of any other titles? Like "Ocean's (fill in the #)? I thought it was sweet and pretty darn funny. It kind of goes all over the place, but if it's Sunday evening and you want something mildly entertaining on the tube, it fits.
kjnawrocki
This isn't some hugely high budget mobster comedy like THE WHOLE NINE YARDS. That is like comparing apples to oranges in content, cash budget, and casting 'options' when TWNY was a major motion picture.That being said this is charming, endearing, smaller indie version of OCEANS 11. Some absolute stand outs for casting (Ed O'Ross is a gem in everything and anything. Vinnie Jones has great presence. ) The fun camp factor is definitely there with Easterbrook, C. Thomas, Dante. It is what it is and enjoyable for it!I think the other reviewer who gave it 1 star was harsh or didn't really see it for what was intended. Give it a shot.
saburaukami-645-566777
I can't believe I sat down and watched this. The acting was just so horrible. The writer and director need to put some more time into thinking about what people would say and do in a movie. Seriously Mobster A tells a chick he is gonna slaughter her and ship her to Mexico and she just says "I love Mexico." I can't really tell what the director was going for. Just plain stupid? or if he was serious about how tacky everything was. The racist jokes were absolutely tasteless and out of place.Don't waste your time. If you want comedy and a mob movie, watch The Whole Nine Yards, or even better Analise This.
