Bergorks If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

Donald Seymour This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

Deanna There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

Janis One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

Fluke_Skywalker Plot; Two young men visiting a swanky, high end luxury resort get caught up in a plot to steal a valuable diamond.Besides DNA (allegedly), my father and I only share two things in common; 1.) A love of building model cars and airplanes, and 2.) An appreciation for the teen sex comedy. The latter began when he took me to see 'Porky's'... when I was 7. Did I mention my grandfather was a minister? Anyway, between the rise of home video and premium cable, he and I watched just about every film the genre had to offer during the 80s.Somewhere in that time I'm reasonably sure that I watched 'Private Resort'. In fact, I don't think it's one I shared with my dad, but my step-sisters, who were crushing on Johnny Depp (more on him in a sec). But I remembered next to nothing going into this re-watch (thanks to a bargain find at Wal-Mart, of all places, in a 6-movie "beach pack"). There's almost no set up of our two "heroes". They arrive with no backstory and no real stated purpose. We don't learn where they're from or how they got the money to go to this swanky resort. Nothing. Not that any of that is really important, but it took me a few minutes to get back into b-movie mode.I mentioned Johnny Depp, but he's not the only recognizable face here. Typically in these sorts of movies the cast is populated by "actors" with very brief resumes on IMDb, usually stalling out around the start of the Clinton administration. Not so here. Along with Depp there's Robb Morrow (as the other guy in the duo), Hector Elizondo as the villain, Leslie Easterbrook (The 'Police Academy' films) as his wife, Andrew Clay (no Dice here) as a resort guest, and actress Dody Goodman as the target of Elizondo's diamond scheme. Depp and Morrow are fine. Perhaps a tad better than your average schlep in these kinds of films. But it's the supporting cast that really shine here. Elizondo and Goodman are great, bringing so much more to their characters than was there on the page, and a whole host of anonymous actors do fun work with their bit parts.This isn't a film for everyone, but if you like the genre, I think you'll enjoy your 82 minute stay at 'Private Resort'.

FlashCallahan Depp and Morrow play a pair of sexually starved teens who go to a very expensive Florida resort, with only one thing in mind.....Ladies.As you'd expect, things don't go as smoothly as planned in these sorts of films. Morrow falls for one of the waitresses, and Depp fancies another guest, but as her family are consumerist pig dogs, they wouldn't give him a second look unless he's a high paid professional....Add to the mix Hector Elizondo and Callahan from Police Academy as a couple bent on stealing a necklace, a security guard provided only for comic relief, Andrew Dice Clay as a stereotypical ladies man, and a young boy who is a bit of a pervert, you get a wannabe farce.These film were ten a penny in the eighties, the holiday comedy with a little bit of nudge, nudge, wink wink, cheeky cheeky thrown in.Summer Rental, Paradise Club, Fraternity Vacation, are just a few from a huge list, and they all have the same trope, the horny guys looking for a good time. Although in this movie, they are the centre of attention, but arguably the weakest characters in the movie.It's all the bonkers characters that appear in the rest of the film that elevates it from its mundane story line and narrative, from the weird Bill and Ted-esque stoner who comments on The Maestros ever decreasing appearance, to the barber. They are all absurd and bonkers, it makes the film more watchable.And come the final act,the makers realise that they have no idea how to end the movie, so they go for a Benny Hill type extended chase scene, that is admittedly, quite amusing.In the space of fifteen minutes we have cross dressing, buckets falling on heads, men mistaking men for women, a strong woman beating up a man, corridor chasing, gun fights that feel totally out of place, back injuries, and of course for no reason, pie throwing.But it's plot narrative really let's it down, as does its misogyny and borderline racism.But hey, it's still a bit of throwaway fun.

witster18 Rob Morrow and Johnny Depp star in this harmless, testosterone filled sex-romp.They're spending a short week at a luxurious beach resort full of women in TINY two-piece bikini's.The films strength is it's short running time and fast-paced physical comedy.Don't come into this one expecting much in terms of plot, but the cast here does a much better job than you'll usually find within this genre.The films first half is thoroughly enjoyable, but the second half is a bit silly.Expect the normal story-lines here. Guys seeking perfect "10" sluts only to settle for solid 8's with big hearts. Throw in a huge dose of misunderstanding and you have yourself the definition of a sex-romp.The film gets a nice start out of the gate. The first 45minutes is pretty entertaining stuff because of the acting from the two male leads.Those who are easily offended, will be. Those who aren't easily offended will probably enjoy this one for what it is.58/100 You Might Like this if you liked:Fraternity Vacation(about even), Spring Break(not as good as PR), Hardbodies(not as good), or Loosin' it(about even or slightly worse).One of the best "bad" movies ever made. Definitely some funny bits in here, but the focus is obviously on the bare naked ladies. The current 4.9 is a bit harsh imo. Nostalgic. Funny enough for a first time look.

DearJohnny One of a plethora of PORKYS-inspired teen-sex comedies, memorable mainly for starring future TV star Rob Morrow ('Northern Exposure') and future mega-star Johnny Depp ('Pirates of The Caribberan', among others). It's essentially the same set-up as any other movie of this type: Two callow youths, one a self-professed Lothario (Depp), the other naive but desperate to lose his virginity (Morrow), find themselves in an exotic location, in this case a beach-front hotel, and become involved in wacky hijinks while in pursuit of sex. Depp is understandably not fond of this thing, done very early in his career to pay the rent. Both he and Morrow have fairly lengthy rear-nude scenes, mostly running around trying to hide when their attempts at seduction go disastrously wrong. There's also a subplot about a violent thug plotting to romance a scatter-brained dowager to obtain a valuable jewel, as well as an exasperated hotel manager determined to catch our heroes in the midst of inappropriate behavior. Surprisingly, it's only half as awful as one would expect, thanks to some lively comedy and a fairly talented cast. To put it in perspective, it's better than, for instance, PORKYS 3, but not quite as good as an average 'Three's Company' episode.