PodBill Just what I expected

Chirphymium It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

Megamind To all those who have watched it: I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do.

Bergorks If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

GL84 Arriving in Australia to shoot a documentary piece, the crew and the locals find the shoot has attracted the attention of a monstrous crocodile and must try to get away from the deadly creature before they become victims.A strangely fun entry, as there's very few solid points about this one that should make it as good as it really is. The fact that the attacks in here are among the film's best qualities is no surprise, as that's the main point in such a film, but by making them high-quality as they are it's a surprising quality, with all the dismembered limbs, superb crocodile animatronics and vicious deaths being dished out. On top of that, it's pretty creepy at points where it's still just a shadow stalking the group, and then it ramps up the action in the second half with several notable chase scenes that actually manage to get a jump every now and then from the action on-screen. That said, there's still some flaws here as the film is quite confusing with its story, since little is mentioned about the sport or what's so popular about it, or why it decides to throw in the pirates to the story when it never mentioned them beforehand and dispatches them shortly thereafter, creating a rather frantic story. Sure, the movie's cheesy beyond belief as well, but otherwise that's all that's wrong with it.Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Nudity, and a sex scene.

TheUnknown837-1 "Blood Surf" (a.k.a. "Krocodylus") is one of those movies that you root for when you hear a plot description, because you are really hoping that this one will work. The basic idea is quite interesting. A new form of stunt television work, called Blood Surf, is created, in which surfers ride their boards through shark-infested waters. But instead of being chomped on by sharks, as we'd initially expect, they are hounded by a ferocious saltwater crocodile. Now that is a plot that we really want to go for. It sounds like a recipe for an enjoyable film. But alas, "Blood Surf" slam-dunks itself right into some foul water and sinks into the abysses because it suffers from the cinematic equivalence of schizophrenia. It has no idea what it should be, or more important, what it even wants to be.A full hour ellipses by the time we really start on the plot with the crocodile and by that time, the tone of the movie has undergone a one hundred-eighty-degree turn. It's at this point that we realize that "Blood Surf" is really supposed be a comedy rather than a straight shocker. So naturally, we would expect the first two-thirds to be the funny, whimsical bits and the last part straight, gruesome, and serious in mind.We would be wrong.Instead, writers Sam Bernard and Robert L. Levy decided to idiotically reverse this. If the entire movie was to be funny, you wouldn't be able to tell from the first hour. It's all down in tone and imitates realism. Then, when the crocodile appears it throws up some of the most ridiculously stupid and unbelievable twists intended to spawn laughter. For example, the crocodile chases our heroes on land but won't chase them through a river because supposedly there's chocolate plants in the water and "salties hate them!" A character quips, "I guess that's what you call croc-teasing" and the scene ends quickly, leaving us with our mouths agape. Only no sound is coming out. But the movie's ultimately lowest point is a juxtaposition of an attack by the crocodile and the lamest, most pathetic, most pointless sex scene possibly in movie history. I have griped about that cheap gimmick many times, but this is the one time where I really think it becomes almost criminally stupid.There are so many good ideas thrown shamefully to waste. The idea of blood surfing and then encountering a crocodile. The characters being captured by pirates. I was even willing to buy the redundant and monotonous subplot about the enraged, crusty sea captain wanting to hunt down the crocodile for revenge. Those are good ideas that are not developed well and this only increased by disdain for the movie. Performances, in general, are stiff but not awful, with only Ducan Regehr's being good enough to really be labeled acting. So lack of real talent in the cast does strike against it when it tries to be funny."Blood Surf" was directed by James D.R. Hickox, who made the pleasingly entertaining "Sabretooth" in 2002, so I was really hoping that this feature was going to realize its potential. But because of its lack of knowledge about itself and what it should go for, or what it even wants to go for, the picture collapses really hard and really fast. That great critic Gene Siskel once said that people should not remake classics, but bad movies, because any subject could be done well.Let's utilize his philosophy here.

MartianOctocretr5 Standard "paint-by-numbers" monster fare, filled with a bunch of routine plot devices from big-creature movies. It's like somebody had a deck of cards with plot ideas from other movies written on them, which were shuffled, and dealt. Whatever plot lines and characters came up in the deal were then tossed into the script. Characters are so cliché-ridden, that you can play a game of "Guess who ends up as a monster meal" after less than ten minutes into the movie, and probably get every single one right--including the order that they will get devoured. Many of the characters are so obnoxious, that you root for the creature to shut them up. Some of the main characters include: a Billy Idol clone who surfs with sharks, a loudmouth brat who flashes bankrolls, a Capt. Ahab guy with a vendetta, and Ahab's girlfriend who does sleazy dances at a bar. Oh, and a big, big beast in need of anger management therapy.Along the way, people argue a lot, pretty girls run around with wet t-shirts, couples make out on exotic beaches, explosions occur, ruins of a shrine appear, and greasy-faced pirates drop by. Amusing, for the most part, but one thing bothered me: the callousness by characters when other people were killed. After one violent demise, they make one-liner jokes. I could almost hear rim shots.Overall, OK, if you have 90 minutes to waste, and you want to laugh at a so-bad-it's-good-movie. Otherwise, you may want to skip this one.

Paul Andrews An MTV-style film crew consisting of American T.V. programme producer Zack Zardine (Matt Borlenghi) his camerawoman, the Australian Cecily (Kate Fisher) and two surfer 'dudes' named Bog Hall (Dax Miller) and Jeremy (Joel West) arrive on some nice looking island somewhere, it's not actually revealed where. The crew plan to shoot an expose on 'bloodsurfing' which is apparently the latest craze in extreme sports. Surfers throw bait into the sea and cut themselves to attract sharks, just to see if they can out-surf them without being eaten. Once there they are greeted by Sonny Lofranco (Cris Vertido) and his wife Melba (Susan Africa). Their search for the perfect location leads them to the shark infested waters of Lilo-Cay. Sonny, Melba and their daughter Lemmya (Maureen Larrazabal) take them in their boat. Soon after arriving and having already shot some 'bloodsurfing' footage Sonny, Melba and Lemmya are all killed by a 30 foot saltwater crocodile that some say 'owns' the island. The boat is sunk. Zack, Cecily, Bog and Jeremy appear stuck on the island until such time a rescue party arrives. However, after a run in with some, erm well I don't really know what they are. Pirates? Drug smugglers? Revolutionairies? Fat ugly people who just don't like being with other people? Who knows? And more importantly who cares? Not me that's for sure. Anyway, after escaping from these guys who look like pirates, they are picked up just off the coast of the island by Captain John Dirks (Duncan Regehr) and his girl Arty (Taryn Reif as Tara Reif). The film crew believe they have been saved. Little do they know that the crocodile and Captain Dirks go way back and he has a score to settle and four members of a film crew aren't going to stop him. Captain Dirks heads back to Lilo-Cay for a final showdown with the giant man-eating crocodile.Directed by James D.R. Hickox this is one awful film, but it's still not as bad as Tobe Hoopers Crocodile (2000). Everything about this film sucks. The script by Sam Bernard and Robert L.Levy is terrible, extremely slow as the crocodile isn't even seen or mentioned before the 30 minute mark and by that time I was seriously bored and annoyed with the hideously unlikeable characters thought up by Bernard and Levy. The whole film is also frustratingly predictable as well, within the first 10 minutes anyone familiar with horror film stereotypes and stock characters will be able to guess who dies and who will survive. The crocodile effects are awful and seem to be repeated over and over, there is a small puppet head that obviously has someones arm stuck inside it controlling it's movements as the water splashes become huge! The CGI shots of the crocodile are just plain embarrassing to watch. There is no gore apart from when a character is bitten in half which is achieved using CGI to digitally remove the actors legs, again it looks terrible. There is also a brief scene when someone is impaled on wooden spikes when they set a trap off. There is a reasonable amount of nudity and sex, plus the female actresses are nice and easy on the eye. There are basic continuity and logical errors in the film too, in one sequence Cecily is filming Bog and Jeremy 'bloodsurfing' but from the angle and distance she is at it would be physically impossible to obtain footage of both the sharks and surfers at the same time, and surely that is the whole point of her shot? When Dirks manages to harpoon the crocodile the angle of the wire changes dramatically between shots, in one shot the angle of the line looks like it's coming from the sky, in the shot straight after the angle is completely different and it seems as if the line is coming from below the surface of the water when in actual fact the harpoon is attached to the back of the boat and the line should be almost level with the surface. I could carry on, like why does the crocodile jump off the edge of a cliff if it's so smart as this film tries to make out? But I would probably exceed the 1000 word limit if I listed everything that was wrong with this film, so I won't. I hated this film, but rather scarily it's still not as bad as Tobe Hoopers effort at a giant crocodile film. Definitely one to avoid.