BaronVonCount
A good explosions and car chase movie replete with corny wisecracks is a bodily need for most males.It is one of our burdens. Bond movies deliver our hit very satisfactorily, as do the Bournes, Die Hards, and many Jason Statham movies, and with the dose of cinematic testosterone we can go about our daily lives, often for weeks, or even months before we need some more explosions etc. 3/10 is the lowest score I have ever given a movie and how I sat through the whole thing will always be a mystery to me. Anyone who has overdone a cocktail of substances could relate to Statham's lead character, which is the central theme of the flick, but sadly despite our enthusiasm to suspend disbelief this movie is strained beyond comprehension. Almost certainly the writers and crew were in a more heavily drugged state than Statham's character and the ensuing incoherent mess is just a nasty waste of time. And profoundly unfunny. You are better off rewatching one of the old Transporter movies.
beresfordjd
A movie for 12 year old boys. It is supposed to be funny, I think . However the writers forgotten to write anything vaguely witty. There is a lot of bad language (yawn) and ridiculous action sequences but we have seen that all before. I quite like action films, for instance, I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed Jason Statham in the Transporter movie. This is another story altogether though, it just becomes tiresome very quickly. I know I saw the original movie that the story was taken from and remember how much I enjoyed it - I think it starred Edmond O'Brien then and even that was remade with Dennis Quaid I think. Both decent thrillers. This one is just a pain to watch, which is why I am critiquing it now after only about 30 minutes. Jason Statham has been someone I I had avoided until I tried Transporter, but I think I will not pursue any more of the Crank movies.
Stinky Lomax
Good films usually contain a defining line of dialogue, or a scene which neatly encompasses the ethos of the movie in an easily- digestible chunk. Like popcorn.In 'Crank', this moment comes shortly after the main character - a hit-man called Chev Chelios - has finished conducting a meeting with a crimeboss in a swimming pool. Soaking wet, Chelios is trying to get into a taxi. But the taxi driver refuses the fare because he doesn't want his cab soiled. Chelios takes exception to this, so he drags the driver from the vehicle and throws him to the ground. For an instant, Chelios is unsure of what to do: he isn't thinking straight because he has a heart-full of fatal, adrenaline- suppressing 'Chinese Sh*t' with which he has been injected by his arch-nemesis. On top of that, he is on the run from the police and the mob. By assaulting the taxi driver he has kept his adrenaline up, but his conspicuity too. The crowd watch him with mounting suspicion, ready to alert the authorities. Chelios looks at the driver. He is of Southern Asian descent. Chelios looks back at the crowd. They are White Americans. Chelios has an idea. He points at the driver and yells 'Al-Qaeda'. Then Chelios steals the taxi and leaves.At this point the crowd begin to panic. Some flee. Others attack the stricken taxi driver. More join in. Then, an old lady grabs the driver's leg. She twists it as hard as she can, and it breaks with a crunch.This scene tickled me. I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps it was due to Chelios's jet-black appraisal of the situation, and the means by which he applied his prejudices against American Culture to his predicament with such anti-social success. Or maybe it's because I like the idea that an old lady could break the leg of a grown man with her bare hands, purely by strength she could only muster in a fit of jingoistic rage. Either way, I was not expecting such black satire from a potentially-brainless action film, which, on the surface, is exactly what Crank appears to be: man gets injected with fatal drug by nemesis. Man can only stay alive by stimulating adrenal gland. Cue action set-pieces of steadily increasing ridicule. Simple.Using this basic central premise, Crank transcends its narrow action movie credentials to explore greater themes. It explores the psyche of a man who is forced to suffer an existential crisis. A man whose relationship with his environment is altered beyond his control. A refugee from his preferred state of being. Like most refugees, he wishes to return home. But he learns very quickly that this is impossible. He must accept that his continued survival is a luxury afforded to him only by his ability to explore and understand his own stimuli.This revelation sets Chelios upon a journey inward. By necessity he abandons fear of consequence to discover what excites him. He embraces impulse: he takes drugs; forces a medic to defibrilate him; commits robberies; listens to 'Achy Breaky Heart' and vandalises a steering wheel; and Christ-rides a police motorcycle into a restaurant to the genteel strains of Everybody's Talking' - a song about feeling detached from ordinary human interaction. It is absurd and beautiful. A bizarre, Freudian pastiche.A side-effect of the life-affirming death serum is that it gives Chelios a raging hard-on, perhaps due to his body sensing imminent expiry: the primal need to propagate the species. This urge leads Chelios to his lover, Eve. But, when he sees her, rather than consummate his passion immediately, he feels a different impulse: to tell the truth. To face the possibility that when he reveals he is not a video game programmer but a hit-man, Eve will leave him. This seems to be the only impulse in the film over which he hesitates. The only consequence of which he seems genuinely afraid. And it is strangely touching.Still, reveal this secret, he does. But Eve won't accept the truth. As they leave her apartment Chelios protects her from some hired goons of whom she is unaware. Absently she reveals that she hasn't taken her birth control pills. Once Chelios and Eve escape into busy streets, Chelios's heart weakens again. More adrenaline is needed. To get it he knows that he must follow his impulses: he must copulate with Eve immediately, in public, to generate the life- saving adrenaline he needs. But first, chivalrously, he questions her trust in him, which she reassures. Then he asks her. At first she refuses. Then, reluctantly, she complies. They make love on a bustling sidewalk. Suddenly a bus full of tourists appears. Their flashbulbs go off. Unexpectedly, Eve abandons herself to the moment. She makes a sacrifice of her dignity along with his so that Chelios might live. Eve bellows her encouragement to him. 'I'm alive' he shouts. And, he is - at the very apex of life: a creature of pure animal instinct, throwing off the shackles of ethereal social expectation to perform the hyper-real act of creation in the face of imminent death. And in the midst of all this, the public look on, impressed, almost as if they understand the gravity of the moment.Some might say that this is filth: just a flimsy excuse for a gratuitous 'love' scene. In fact, the whole film is just one big flimsy excuse for a lot of gratuitous scenes. After all, this film stars Jason Statham - a man not known for playing great existentialists. These questions were not on his mind when he read the script. He probably just chuckled to himself as he flipped the pages over, thinking about how he always wanted to play a character who deliberately burns his hand in a waffle iron.Some might say that I am reading into things - far too much. But I like reading. It gives me an adrenalin rush.
xphenomx4
This movie is unrealistic, but it has some new original ideas. It cannot be taken seriously, but it's not boring, it's entertaining and worth watching. Russians don't produce such movies.The moment when a killer tries to shoot his girl and she doesn't notice anything is funny and odd. Liked this moment.It looks sure like GTA series.People who like risk should like it. There are people who like risk and I am one of them.The main actor good fits the role. I think they could make a serious movie, which would have success.The script looks like amateur one, the direction and acting looks professional like we see in Hollywood films.
