Stevecorp Don't listen to the negative reviews

Chirphymium It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

StyleSk8r At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

Logan By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

callanvass Two bumbling idiots witness their uncle getting shot to death by cops as kids. They grow up and dig up their Uncle's corpse, and manage to preserve his brain and penis, and put it in a jar. With their uncle's wisdom, they start by opening up a vegetarian buffet, and slaughter young women I'm a big horror movie fan, and I've heard mixed stuff over the years about this movie from other fellow horror fans. I finally decided to watch it, and now I really wish I hadn't. It's honestly 90 minutes or so, I'll never get back, but that's the risk you take with movies. I couldn't get over how incredibly stupid this movie is. For starters, how is the Uncle managing to talk, despite being dead for many years, and only having a brain and penis? We get viewer discretion at the start, with a warning message that insists the stuff done in this movie, is performed by seasoned professionals. No kidding, Sherlock! Was that supposed to be cute? When it's not moving as slow as molasses, it does manage to be bloody. We get many severed limbs, evisceration, decapitation with a broom (Yes, seriously) and lots more. Too bad I was too bored to care. I expected the amateurish acting, but they didn't even manage to make this into a so bad, it's good movie. I'm not gonna mention the performances. Everyone is absolutely god awful. This was initially a sequel to Blood Feast, but they pulled away from that idea. At least Blood Feast was campy fun at times, this has none of thatFinal Thoughts: Avoid it like the plague. There is nothing worthwhile about this movie, nothing at all. 1/10

eddie_baggins Warning! The truly unusual motion picture you are about to see contains many scenes of graphic violence. It is not intended for the faint of heart nor the young and impressionable. While it is a sad fact that mass homicide and practitioners of blood cults infest our society, the producers of this film wish to express that they do not condone, nor do they want to inspire, any of the human butchery or violence portrayed in this film. If you feel you will be offended by such material, please leave the theatre at once. Note: All of the mutilations, bodily dismemberments and cannibal rituals were performed by seasoned professionals. Please do not attempt any of these stunts at home. Thank you. - Opening narration.In 1963, Exploitation extraordinaire Herschell Gordon Lewis invented a brand new sub-genre of film that some 40 years on would become one of the most popular among American audiences, the Gore Film. There had been shocking violence in movies prior to this, but none that focused solely on providing the audience with graphic depictions of murder and mutilation in the way Lewis and this ground-breaking film Blood Feast did, and in starting colour to boot (those lucky enough like me to have the 1st edition of the rare paperback 'Herschell Gordon Lewis and his World of Exploitation Films' will know just how much of a censorship outcry this caused).There were legs sawn off, brains removed and tongues ripped out of beautiful women by an Egyptian caterer hoping to bring Ishtar, an ancient Goddess of good and evil back to life, and in 1987 Jackie Kong would make the seminal film's spiritual sequel; Blood Diner.This gloriously bonkers film presents us with Michael and George Tutman; your average American siblings who, being aided by their dead Uncles brain, set about getting the required 'parts' to complete his task of resurrecting five million year old Goddess Shitaar. The brothers also operate a health-food diner, with the secret ingredient in their vegetable patties being human meat (which renders it wrong on so many levels when a particularly energetic proprietor vomits all over another unsuspecting patron), and have to deal not only with the cops hot on their trail, but the owner of a rival diner desperately trying to attain the recipe for those tasty burgers. We're also provided with an appreciated amount of absolute randomness Kong decided to throw into the mix, such as a wrestling match involving the popular 'Jimmy Hitler,' a workout video like no other and a high-pitched character played by an incredibly unmoving actor… Blood Diner is unadulterated fan-boy beautiful ugliness, and you'll know by now if it's a movie you'll enjoy. I was first introduced to it by my old high school Student Executive teacher who rates it as his all-time favourite, and who helped form my opinion and enthusiasm for horror, being the first to recommend to me staples such as Umberto Lenzi's Cannibal Ferox (1981) and Romero's Day of the Dead. There are deep-fried heads, heads bitten off by carnivorous stomachs and this deformed classic is certainly at the head of the class when it comes to giddy entertainment.Cheers, Mr Clark.So if you've just missed the bus to Tromaville, or there is no vacancy at Motel Hell, why not stop by the Blood Diner? You'll have a killer time… just remember to take lots of serviettes.4 Blood Buffets out of 5 For more movie reviews and opinions check out - www.jordandandeddie.wordpress.com

Scott LeBrun Originally intended as a sequel to the landmark Herschell Gordon Lewis splatter flick "Blood Feast", "Blood Diner" ends up as more of a loving homage to that film, with some key plot elements borrowed from it (with a little bit of "Pieces" thrown into the mix).Two demented brothers are fiercely devoted to their homicidal uncle Anwar, so much so that 20 years later, they resurrect Unc (his brain and eyes, anyway) and follow his instructions to create the ultimate Lemurian feast, and bring their god Sheetar to life.Working from a fun screenplay by Michael Sonye, cult director Jackie Kong ("The Being", "Night Patrol") makes this all very deliberate in terms of its cheesiness, trashiness, and camp factor. It's never at any time meant to be taken seriously, and in fact is quite an uproarious comedy at times. Granted, some viewers may find it merely stupid, instead of so stupid it's fun, but those who treasure utter schlock will find it a real hoot. Several actresses fulfil the nudity requirement, or at least bare their breasts, the gore is of the irresistibly tacky variety, and the special effects are always quite amusing. Sonyes' dialogue contains some real gems, such as "I lost my gentitals...and my life!" The acting is all of the obviously amateurish variety, with those who are required by the film to go truly over the top coming off the best, especially Drew Godderis as the maniacal Anwar. He's a riot as he harangues his dim bulb nephews as they, in turn, bungle their way through their depraved deeds. Rick Burks as Michael and Carl Crew as George are fun as the gleeful antagonists of the story. Max Morris likewise tickles the funny bone with his way OTT performance as the bizarrely accented police chief, while the very pretty LaNette La France gamely keeps a straight face as a detective on the case. Several Troma-esque highlights include the fate of a bouncer and the demolition of a victim set to a mambo number.The movie doesn't quite sustain itself for the entire time; even at 88 minutes it's a little over extended, but fortunately the momentum created early on is regained for a very bright and insane finale. (One's gotta dig those weird musical acts.)While not quite as much fun as this viewer would have liked, it's still endearing stuff that delivers a respectable amount of good laughs.Seven out of 10.

MRDA I'm still trying to figure out what the f uck went on in this film.We've got a proto-Beavis and Butthead pair of brothers who, in tribute to their dead psychotic uncle, kill wanton women to serve up on their diner's menu; we've got necromancy to revive said uncle as a disembodied brain; we've also got said brain (complete with eyes) orchestrating and overseeing a plot to revive an ancient goddess with a name reminiscent of an Eighties cartoon villainess: all hail Sheetar! Did I forget to mention the rival diner owner and his sole talking puppet customer; or the vaguely grating pair of cop stereotypes? All of this got thrown into a gonzo gumbo with a varying aftertaste: sometimes, it hit the spot; other times, it left me wondering: "What the fu ck am I eating?" Perhaps I should check out Blood Feast, the slab of Sixties horror this hit 'n' miss homage pays tribute to.