rdu-60058
All of the copies of these films should be banned worldwide for obvious pedophilia, the creator should be arrested for his child prawn scam, and everyone who signed on to this, including the actors and VFX studios (somehow, this dam-brainaged pervert got the same studio that did INDEPENDENCE DAY to do the VFX for this first installment) should be COMPLETELY ASHAMED of this because they worked for a guy who is basically the real world equivalent of the old geezer from Family Guy and didn't even know it. I am boycotting IMDb until all of the 10 star votes and reviews are permanently removed from the site. If all of what I said does not happen until New Years 2018, I am going to Start a petition on Change Dot Org, forcing IMDb to do something about Hollywood's biggest pedophile since Roman Polanski.
TheBlueHairedLawyer
Why on earth did I even watch this thing? Baby Geniuses makes the Justin Bieber movies look good, and it was honestly the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. As if the bad acting and awful soundtrack isn't enough, the plot revolves around scientists who are keeping children captive. What the hell? What is the purpose of this dopey movie? Well, I'll tell you: the purpose is to draw in the "I love cute babies" crowd. You know, pageant moms, new couples, people who will look back and think, "I'm a smart person but I watched this trailer-trash?" It makes me very worried for society to see good ratings on it. I only hope it is left in this website's bottom 100, it deserves to be there.
Rose Harvey
YIKES. There is nothing good or likable in this whole film. Nothing. There is something so painful about bad comedy. When a movie tries to be funny, but is terrible at it, it makes you HURT. Baby Geniuses hurts.Let's start with the premise: Babies who are 'geniuses'. Well, there's your first problem. Babies are not smart. "Oh, but you just have to be imaginative and have suspension of disbelief" Blah, blah, blah, suspend yourself over a gorge, you supporter of horrible films. I'm the kind of person who can enjoy a ridiculous premise. I loved Babe, and I readily accepted the premise of sentient farm animals. Do not tell me that I'm just too cynical to appreciate a goofy movie. No, the problem lies in centering your movie around the idea that not only do babies speak perfect English to each other, not only are they incredibly smart, not only can they flip around and do stunts, but they forget it all when they turn two. Freaking HUH?!? That makes no sense. It doesn't even make MOVIE sense. And the whole nudge-wink at the audience that babies just keep up the pretense around adults- OH PLEASE. So, babies crap their pants, wander around blank-faced into furniture, and obsessively chew on my hair or car keys every time I'm around, but they're secretly super-duper smart ninjas? No.Another problem with this should be readily obvious to anyone who respects acting: Babies cannot act. It's at best awkwardly cute. But, in most movies (especially GOOD movies), scenes with children are minimal and designed with a children's limitations in mind. The audience will tolerate a few seconds of little Billy reading off his cue card before running off the stage back to his mother, and everyone can go back to enjoying the scene. But this is a movie of nothing but that! So while the movie is trying to set up these kid characters as smug, intelligent, witty spies, all anyone with half a brain is seeing is awful CG mouths and lame dubbed in lines pasted over a drooling, completely-oblivious toddler. It's not cute or funny.And the terrible computer effects are one of the many things that makes this movie INCREDIBLY dated. Remember how awkwardly shoe-horned special effects were into every 90's film? Baby Geniuses seems to be an exercise in studios pandering to people who are so amused by special effects, that it doesn't matter how poorly done they are. The baby effects are TERRIBLE. The mouths just kind of wriggle around out of place on the babies faces, and all of the "action" scenes look about as real as the spaceships in Plan 9 From Outer Space. I have a vehement loathing for the scene that was quite obviously created to be put in EVERY TRAILER: the Saturday Night Fever parody where one of the babies disco dances in the trademark white suit. Not once do the body or face of this character seem like they have any connection to each other whatsoever. It's not well done, it's not funny, it's just lazy and can't even pull off a cheap laugh correctly.As for the script? I'm going to be as lazy as the screenwriters for this one: It sucked and was bad and I hate it.This movie was made to cash in on one of the most easy to pander to groups imaginable: Families. When you have kids, your sense of humor turns to crap. Yes, I know all of you are already arguing, but kindly stop. To an extent, I understand why people (especially moms) suddenly become unfunny after you have kids: They take over your life, and all that is in it. For a time, you will be forced to watch what they watch, listen to the jokes they tell, and generally alter the way you talk and behave around them. That's just a part of being a parent. It's only logical that after being exposed to all of their content you would eventually build a tolerance to it, maybe even develop an appreciation for it. Maybe some of you were unfunny to begin with. But there it is.Baby Geniuses was made for families. Specifically, the average, unfunny ones that find only the most bland, dated, and cutesy crap enjoyable. Every joke and moment was crafted for them. This movie is basically every thing my grandmother would find hilarious. I could practically imagine her excitedly repeating the repulsive "diaper gravy" """joke""" and thinking it's hysterical. The Austin Powers quote made me want to send every network consultant to bottom of the ocean. It so perfectly encapsulates what this film is. It's a template for every "funny" scene in this horrible film: Baby does something babies do not normally do + probably a baffled adult somewhere + baby uses slang or quotes something currently famous. The Austin Powers joke doesn't even make sense within the context of the scene, they just threw it in there because oh look, the baby is talking like Austin Powers, isn't that just hilarious????? To sum up. This movie has mom humor, it's not well made, and anyone giving it ten stars should not be trusted EVER. And no, I'm not just saying that because I only like "mature" films with violence. I LIKE a lot of kids media. I think babies are adorable when they AREN'T being scripted to be so. Hell, I have LaLa-freaking-loopsy on my DVR right now. So don't tell me I'm just a grumpy adult who can't stand innocence and silly fun. I just can't stand movies made with such calculated marketing as this, and so poorly done to boot.If you want to see an enjoyable kid-friendly movie, watch Babe. Or Toy Story. Or Willy Wonka. Mrs. Doubtfire. Harry Potter. Or really ANYTHING BUT THIS MOVIE. There ARE kid-friendly movies out there, and some of them ARE well-made. It doesn't have to be a trade-off, I promise.
