Leofwine_draca
ASSASSIN is a pretty lazy straight-to-video thriller for action man Danny Dyer, here mumbling his way through a clichéd plot in a pick-up-the-pay cheque type role. The story sees Dyer's assassin (a case of miscasting if ever there was one) working his way through various targets until he finds himself set up by his own bosses.Everything about this film screams cheap, not least the script which is incredibly predictable from beginning to end. However, my interest was piqued by the presence of the Kemp brothers, Gary and Martin, playing two characters who could easily be the Kray twins twenty years later. The Kemps are great fun and I enjoyed their scenes, even if the rest of the movie is a drag despite the short running time.
film_andy
Danny Dyer plays a hit-man called 'Jamie'... alright, I suppose there must be some hit men in the world called 'Jamie' - but for conjuring up a hard man character, let's just call him 'Marion'.Marion kills people. And looks very sleepy whilst he does it. He might be moody. He's possibly hung over. Who knows? He doesn't like talking much. Because he tells his 'bird' "I ain't one for talking" (or words to that effect. Presumably to add to his moodiness?) At one point, he senses imminent danger. How? A seagull flies overhead. Perhaps part of his moodiness is talking to animals and birds? Anyone, before this seagull can shout "Watch it you mugs!", a spray of bullets. And old Daniel's stood there like he's just remembered he's left his front door key at home.Meanwhile, The not-really-the Krays Brothers seem to think they're in the British answer to Michael Mann's 'Heat'. Maybe even 'Leon'. Unfortunately they come across as two blokes in a self-build borrowed from Grand Designs.Some scenes have bad audio. (For example, there's a 'confrontation' on a street at night. The ambiance would have you believe it was chucking out time on a Friday night - yet for all this drunken cavorting noise, there's hardly a person to be seen. Anywhere.) Some have bad camera work/direction. Every scene is poor translation of an even worse screenplay. Seriously: 'Marion' kills some bloke with a plastic bag (The police believe it's some nonce engaging in a bit of auto-erotic asphyxiation - and the way Dyer does it, it might as well be. And we know the police think he died due to auto-erotic asphyxiation because they tell us about 4 times).Dead bag man turns out to be the dad of some topless dancer who Dyer takes home for a bit of how's one's father. I've lost count the number of times this has happened to me. Assassinate someone. Pick up a tart. Oh no: They're related.And then the two brothers in the Grand Designs house start getting wobbly because SOMEONE might find out. But Dyer - the professional assassin that he is - can't kill the tart, because he's getting his leg over. (Presumably he's not had much recently) It's easy to poke at Dyer - he is miscast, relying on some 'smell the fart' acting, but he's not the weakest link here. The script is just a cut 'n paste from every crap gangster/hit-man movie there ever was. The direction, supporting cast... all not very good at all.
itsallsofoxinghilarious
Quiet menace ! My eleven year old granddaughter is more menacing when she is in a GOOD MOOD . GOOD FELLOWS take THE MONEY AND RUN SOAP OPERA CRAP RONNIE AND REGGIE STRIKE AGAIN BUT THEY Don't LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT Not even a B movie my blind friends said the cheese grater was a better read than this . Eddie Webber has no BUSINESS being in this tom tit .More than ten lines.The name "Assassin" is often said to derive from the Arabic word Hashishin or "users of hashish",[2] a misnomer thought to have been derogatory and used by their adversaries during the Middle Ages. Originally applied to the Nizari Ismaelis by the Mustali Ismailis during the fall of the decaying Ismaili Fatimid Empire and the separation of the two streams,[3] it is possible that the term hashishiyya or hashishi in Muslim sources was used metaphorically in its abusive sense (i.e. "social outcasts", "low-class rabble", etc.), while the literal interpretation of this term in referring to the Nizaris (as hashish consuming
FlashCallahan
Jamie (a fearsome name for a contract killer) works for the famous ones from Spandau Ballet, because they were The Krays, a unique selling point for the film.They ask Jamie to kill a business man who went back on some land deal, because, it will lose them potentially millions. So Jamie treads the streets of London, in his huge crash helmet, waiting for the business man to get back to his hotel. After he does the deed, he realises that the business man was the father of the stripper he had a bit of a fancy for the night before, proceeded to have a bit of 'cheeky cheeky' with her, and then fell in love.Now, the Krays want her dead too, so he pretends to it, hides her, and in turn, they get a bit suspicious of him........Dyers last film, Vendetta, in my opinion, was a neat little revenge thriller, and after the drivel that were Run For Your Wife, and Deviation, it was such a step up, and this looked, on paper albeit, to continue in that vein.Plus it had the Kemps in it, which is never a bad thing.But, Eastenders happened, and Dyer could not look more bored and unattached if he tried. I don't know whether his motivation for a stone cold killer is to show literally no emotion at all during the film, but this is taking it beyond another level, he appears to be under some very heavy sedation, and if it were not for the Kemps, I would have done the cardinal sin of movie watching, I would have turned it off.It doesn't help that Dyer has some dire support, his girlfriend is pretty bad in this, but she is Laurence Olivier compared to her friends performance. My 15 month son could have put in a more convincing performance.And we are led to believe that after he leaves London for, wait for it, Brighton, and work at a hook a duck stall, adds insult to an already almost incomprehensible narrative.But, the Kemps are fantastic, and still have the chemistry they did in The Krays ( you'd expect it seeing that they are brothers), but the film is immensely watchable whenever they are on screen, which isn't for long, sadly.When a plot point that sends Jamie berserk happens, you know the film is struggling when you shout 'thank goodness for that', rather than gasp in shock.It's a huge misstep for Dyer, and I do like his films for their throwaway wide boy schtick, but this is bad, really bad.Last filmmaking, lazy performances, but on the plus side, it makes you feel like an adequate filmmaker....
