Solemplex To me, this movie is perfection.

Nonureva Really Surprised!

Invaderbank The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

Lachlan Coulson This is a gorgeous movie made by a gorgeous spirit.

Woodyanders Secret agent 999 (a solid and likable performance by Norman Chu) gets sent to a remote Chinese island to arrest thief Rolex. Things go horribly awry when said island turns out to be almost entirely populated by crazed bloodthirsty cannibals. Director Hark Tsui, who also co-wrote the loopy script with Roy Szeto, keeps the entertainingly off-the-wall story moving along at a breathless brisk clip, milks plenty of laughs from the amusingly twisted sense of spot-on silly and sidesplitting black humor, maintains a cheerfully deranged tone throughout, delivers a plethora of over-the-top violent and gory carnage, and stages the copious exciting and energetic martial arts fights with rip-roaring brio. The villages are a colorful assortment of complete kooks, with a homely and lecherous lady giant rating as the most delightfully daffy of the berserk bunch. Kwok Choi Hon easily steals the whole screwy show with his winningly wacky portrayal of a wily and elusive pickpocket while the lovely Mo-lin Cheung makes a favorable impression as the sweet Lin. The familiar music cues from Goblin's score for "Suspiria" further add to this picture's considerable infectiously insane appeal. Hung-Chuen Lau's vibrant widescreen cinematography boasts plenty of crazy camera angles. A seriously nutty riot.

Coventry With a crazy over-the-top title like "We're Going to Eat You!", you should already know not to expect a cannibal film with nail-biting suspense and/or disturbing shock sequences, but more of a deranged black comedy with absurd situations and a light-headed ambiance. It all depends on your personal sense of humor, of course, but I thought this was a truly relaxing and imaginative Hong Kong cult film! There's not much of a storyline, but the gazillion Kung-Fu fighting sequences are masterfully choreographed and indescribably spectacular. On more than one occasion during these grotesque fights, I wondered how the hell it was possible for certain people to be so ingeniously pliant! The story's hero is Special Agent 999 who, in his quest to arrest the wanted criminal Rolex (I guess he steals watches) travels to an island inhabited by a strange community of cannibalistic weirdos. Agent 999 teams up with an eccentric loner and the only vegetarian girl in town to battle his way off the island again. The script limits itself to showing how 999 & C° get captured by the cannibals and how they subsequently fight their way out of the bubbling cauldrons again, so you really shouldn't consider watching this HK-splatter flick for its intelligent dialogs or slowly oozing suspense. The fights are funny and creative, with the roller-skating sequence as the absolute highlight, and also quite gory, since many of 999's opponents meet their death on sharp cooking objects like meat cleavers and butcher knives. The acting skills of the performers are modest, but they're artists of a different breed! Norman Chu, Eddy Ko and Melvin Wong know copious amounts of exhilarating Kung Fu moves and these definitely compensate for the lack of competent plotting. "We're Going To Eat You" is honestly one of the most entertaining & unpretentious horror-comedy hybrids I ever had the pleasure of seeing. Warmly recommended to watch with a bunch of friends on a lazy Saturday evening.

fertilecelluloid Of the Hong Kong directors who have been most highly regarded by critics and punters, I find Tsui Hark to be the most overrated. Even "Chinese Ghost Story", which has often been credited to Hark and is a very effective and surreal horror pic, was not directed by Hark, but was directed by "Naked Weapon's" Ching Siu-Tung."We Are Going To Eat You" has all the flaws of (most) subsequent and previous Hark movies. It is chaotic, repetitive and confusing. The characters are all exaggerated to the point of irritation and the so-called comedy is forced and shrill. There is a gratuitous overuse of wide, low angle compositions and much of the music is inappropriately loud -- one of the main cues, from Argento's "Suspiria" (by Goblin), is an often repeated offender.Hark leaves his audience no time to breathe or take in the atmosphere in this odd piece of "horror fu" which is a pity because the island location that hero Norman Tsui (Agent 999) lands on to search for a legendary thief, is suitably creepy and hostile. Unfortunately, every scene is attacked with a sledgehammer and every actor overreacts to everything. What you end up with is a film with no shading and no contrast, a loud blob of sound and picture serving no purpose but to assault the senses like an infant screaming into your face for ninety minutes.For gore hounds there is a bit of limb-lopping and copious blood is spilled, but there is zero suspense and endless martial arts fights that come across like low rent Jackie Chan. And speaking of Chan, many viewers will recognize the familiar "Project A" sets on display.Hark's debut feature "The Butterfly Murders" bored me silly and his follow-up "Dangerous Encounters" (aka "Don't Play With Fire") didn't impress either with its confused politics and sledgehammer style. His "The Lovers", however, made almost two decades later, is his finest achievement so far, a simple romantic drama directed with admirable restraint and style.This film's mix of cannibalism, broad physical comedy and kung fu comes across as misdirected and awkward. I'd only recommend this to die-hard Hark or cannibal cinema completists. The rest should look elsewhere for their entertainment.

Joseph P. Ulibas We're Going to Eat You (1980) is a horror-action-comedy from the legendary film maker Tsui Hark. After debuting with his equally bizarre BUTTERFLY MURDERS, Mr. Tsui returns with this homage to the Italian Zombie films and kung-fu flicks of the seventies. Filled with blood, gore and sound clips from the Italian Prog-Rock band Goblin, this movie is a must see for any survival horror film fans. This one was also heavily influenced by the films of Ruggero Deodato, Umberto Lenzi and Tobe Hopper. Not your ordinary kung-fu film!Several people have disappeared on a remote island near Hong Kong. The people of this island are all insane and crave the taste of human flesh. They feed on unsuspecting visitors and escaping fugitives. One day a government agent named 999 (Norman Tsui) is in the area looking for a long time federal fugitive named Rolex (Melvin Wong). After being robbed by a fellow traveler and left to die in a trap, Agent 999 comes across the mad residents of the island's city. No one wants to co-operate. So after beating up a few locals, the chief of police (Eddy Ko) grants him an audience and points him in the direction of a nearby slaughterhouse. Foolishly, he heads off to the house and nearly winds up on the residents' plate.Despite all of the evidence presented to him and meeting the fugitive Rolex, he refuses to believe that the islanders are cannibals. The chief is fed up with Agent 999's snooping and decides to get rid of him. The runaway thief is also hiding out in town and he witnesses' first hand the barbaric cannibalism and tries to warn the police chief. He winds up being chased by the police who are in cahoots with the cannibals. Desperate to escape the pot, the thief uses the chimney technique to flee the hungry cops. He even uses a cat as a weapon. But all to no avail, the thief is captured and thrown in a cell waiting to be eaten.Rolex is sick of the cannibals and tries to help Agent 999. The chief suspect's Rolex's treachery and kills him dead. Still in denial, Agent 999 skins off Rolex's tattoo and leaves the village. He doesn't get far and is captured. In despair and praying for help from anyone, Agent 999 is about to be sliced and diced before the thief (who escaped earlier thanks to a friendly local) frees Agent 999 and helps the kid and the agent kill the captors and look for the kid's sister. Agent 999 has no luck because he's captured again. The chief is taking no chances and wants to slice him up in public. Before he can, the thief and the kid fight off the cannibals using a couple of pairs of roller skates and a case of firecrackers.The desperate trio rescue the girl and leave for the beach. They find a hidden raft and take it to safety. A crazed lone cannibal jumps on the raft and attacks the three dudes. Agent 999 goes psycho and kills the man with his bare hands. Saitified, the agent swims out the rescue the thief and the kid. When they return, they scream in horror as the sister has ripped the dead man's heart out and holds it out for all to see. She's very hungry.A pretty down beat ending for a crazy movie. This was made during Tsui Hark's "dark period". He made three depressing films BUTTERFLY MURDERS, WE'RE GOING TO EAT YOU and the very rare DON"T PLAY WITH FIRE. Filled with a lot of gore, toilet humor and some wild stunts and fight scenes.Highly recommended.