TheNabOwnzz
The Wicker Man (2006) is another example of the absurd unimaginative creativeness in the brains of producers and directors in modern day Hollywood, as it is a nearly word for word remake of a film that was admittedly also not very good, but still not nearly as bad as this one turned out to be.This remake has several scenes that are literally an exact copy from the original The Wicker Man (1973), with the only notable differences being that the Island is now a feminist utopia in which men are made mute and serve merely as brainless servants of the 'mighty female supremacy' that seems to rule in this idiotic world. It is ofcourse an absurd ideology and an absurd situation to which you will never be able to relate. The naked women from the original have also been removed, so the only real differences between the original and the remake seem to be based on ridiculous politically correct subjects so the modern snowflake community can't get offended by it's 'sexism', as they would call it these days. A word for word remake in which only the political correctness has been added to is, ofcourse, utterly pointless, and it is no different in this case. The original was already severely lacking in its script or its depth, but the remake manages to be even worse. Nicolas Cage is a pretty mediocre actor, but there is not really any doubt that this is by far his worst performance ever seen on film. Even by Cage standards his overacting is absolutely ridiculous. He is constantly seen yelling like a madman in loads of scenes, ( Not the beeeeess!, How'd it get burned?!?!?!? ) his anger towards the latter stages seem to be initiated because the script tells him to, and not really because Cage embodies his character well in any way. Even early on, Cage Always seems to interrupt people with the most awkward and cringy of dialogue choices ( His thought of a shark being in a couple of the villagers bag ) or in the case of his interruption in the school class, weird awkward laughing at little girls who discuss a 'phallic symbol'. Ofcourse in the original this is discussed in detail in a sentence after that, but in the remake this is ofcourse removed due to political correctness.It is a mystery on paper, but its mystery is solely there because characters are constantly beating around the bush when talking to Cage, even his runaway girlfriend Willow Woodward, who is played by Kate Beahan who constantly seems to be confused and unable to understand the lines that she is spouting out, which is ofcourse not very surprising with such a terrible near word for word copy of an already mediocre script. Cage never seems to realize anything, his character has to be the dumbest detective that has ever been created for film. He is constantly easily tricked by all the women on the Island, he follows a little girl instead of leading her himself, he lets someone empty his gun without him knowing, he dives into some water entered via a kind of grate which can easily be blocked ( Which ofcourse happens ), and many more ridiculous actions.The cinematography does not have an eye or a feel for the situation of the characters in the film, and also does not try to improve immersion in any way with visual symbolisms or the sort. It also has night scenes in woods for example that are lit up like a thousand light bulbs, where it could have been a great opportunity for some minimal lighting to catch the dark tone of the movie. However, these kind of intellectual additions are non existent in this already unoriginal and bland remake.The final stages of the film consists of Cage beating up a couple of women ( I was very surprised they were allowed to film that on account of the idiotic feminist message this film makes ), including one in a bear suit, which has to be one of the greatest unintentionally funny moments ever seen on film. The women are admittedly annoying in The Wicker Man but since Cage's character is a complete idiot that comes up with the most immature and inhumane responses possible, it isn't possible to relate with him either, but since his acting is also so ridiculously bad it atleast becomes quite funny to witness Cage's most embarrassing performance.In the end the entire world displayed here is one great ridiculous feminist fantasy, a world that is solely based on ideals that should never be put into film in such a disgusting manner, as this kind of world only exists as a propaganda form. Combined with absolutely horrendous acting ( Especially Cage & his runaway girlfriend ) & terrible script this is a ridiculous affront to the world of cinema in general.
Highlander
This is a very poor remake made worse by the fact I'm a fan of the original 1971 Wicker Man. Even if you ignore the comparison to the original what we have here is bad wooden occasionally over the top acting you be forgiven it was a cheesy 70s porno but without the sex (which in a way is worse because you don't to enjoy watching while excusing the bad acting).
In its defence there is some topics which this film has which I think they should have made it their own such as the matriarchal society and how men are muted at birth and deprived an education to prevented from becoming a threat to their feminist system. For me the film did reminds me of how society become when the #MeToo movement gone wrong.
Ilikehorrormovies
I have to admit this movie so bad that it's good. I wish I gave it a 10 but I have to keep it real though. I think this movie is a shot for shot remake but the difference is that it's a women colt I think. The script is lazy, the writing is weak, the story is poorly told, and the acting is SOOOOOOOOO funny! Is it the worse remake of all time? No. Did they tried their best? Yes they did. This is my review on The Wicker Man (2006), one more thing. OH NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!!! AGHHHHHH!!! ALL OVER MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!! AGHHHH!!! AGHHHH!!!
