CheerupSilver Very Cool!!!

BlazeLime Strong and Moving!

GazerRise Fantastic!

Josephina Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

ObscureCinema101 I've seen a lot of movies with weird titles in my day, but THE NOSTRIL PICKER takes the cake. Can you just imagine what this movie is about? If you haven't read the description of it, no, you can't, because this movie really isn't about nostril picking.Joe is a loser whose life is changed when he meets a homeless Vietnam vet who tells him he will teach Joe a magic spell if Joe lets him have some of his booze. Well, with this magic spell, Joe can change into anyone he wants to whenever he hums his favorite song. Well, Joe, being the creepy pervert that he is, changes into a high school girl so he can go into the girls showers and stuff like that without being detected. However, doing this will slowly drive him insane, and soon, he begins to kill off high school girls. Can the police chief, whose daughter is friends with Joe's alter ego, stop the killer before it's too late?No matter who you are, you haven't seen anything quite like this movie. I guess the only proper way to review it is to go into the basics. For the most part, the acting was more wooden than a pirate ship, but it looked like most everyone was having fun making the movie. However, when one girl got her fingers cut off, she didn't even have any sort of look of pain on her face; it almost looked like she was bored. It also feels like the director started filming without a script and was just making it up as he went, which adds to the hilarity. The gore effects are atrocious, because the blood they use has a pinkish tinge to it. There's also a really predictable and very stupid ending to go with it.Now, the sole enjoyment that one can get out of THE NOSTRIL PICKER is through all the hilarious scenes. There's the aforementioned terrible acting and gore, the sheer stupidity of the premise, some of the dialogue ("He attacked me with a thingy!"), and just how weird some of the scenes are (Joe chases a transvestite around his apartment with a squirting dildo).And, of course, I must mention the school montage. So Joe goes to high school and there's a montage of, basically, him slacking off, smoking, and spying on the girls, all set to this incredible song that just repeats, "Schooooooo-ooOOo-lin'…I've got to get me some schooooooooo-ooOOo-lin'…" over and over again. It's pants-wettingly hilarious. Given how much I laughed at it, I should probably give THE NOSTRIL PICKER a 6/10. But I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't think I could ever respect myself again.

The_Void Wow...I'm surprised at all the negativity being shown towards this film. I'm not usually a fan of bad movies, but The Nostril Picker is a hilarious film that manages to take a good idea for an exploitation movie, completely mess it up, and somehow come back around and make a good movie out of it. Well...I say a good movie, I actually mean that only in terms of the comedy value of it because as a piece of film-making; this is shockingly bad! The plot has all kinds of possibilities (some of which are dealt with) and focuses on a loser named Joe. Joe lives on his own and constantly gets knocked back by women; until one day when he gets a piece of luck in the form of a vagabond who tells him that he can give him the power of 'morphosynthesis', a process by which Joe can have the appearance of anything he wants. Well, Joe wants people to think he's a teenage girl, so he starts calling himself Josephine and manages to get himself into a school, where he's allowed to perv on the real girls without anyone suspecting a thing. However, he soon develops a murderous bloodlust...The Nostril Picker really is bizarre movie; not just the plot line but in the way that things are portrayed; the best example being the way that the central characters appears as a girl to everyone but the audience The characters in the movie see him as a young girl, but we the audience sees him simply as Joe; and thus what we get is a forty year old man hanging around with a load of teenage girls and being referred to as 'miss', and it seeming completely normal. This of course is little more than an amusing gimmick and the film doesn't really manage to make itself interesting outside of this plot, but this is adequately masked by a handful of real stand out scenes. A five minute montage featuring Joe hanging around with girls to the track "Gonna Get Me Some Schoolin" is hilarious; as is the sequence that sees Joe chasing a transvestite prostitute around his flat, holding a dildo and calling the prostitute a pervert! The subsequent police interview is hilarious also. The special effects are ridiculous; with plenty of fake blood splattering about the place. The film does attempt some character building by giving us an idea of the lead character's background, but it's not exactly deep stuff. It's also unbelievable that this film was released as recently as 1993. I can only assume it was sitting around in director Mark Nowicki's basement for ten years before he could find anyone who would release it. However, despite its numerous problems; The Nostril Picker is a lot of fun at least and while it won't appeal to everyone; bad movie junkies especially will find plenty to like here! It and even manages to deliver a shock ending!

Red-Barracuda Someone must have been seriously joking when they made this film.Firstly, it is an absolute impossibility that this movie was made in 1993. The fashions and music dictate that this is seriously 80's. My guess is that this has sat on the shelf for a long while before some crazed distributer picked it up and released it to a disbelieving world.There is a plot. Kind of. A strange loner meets a random man with a beard who tells him that if he meditates while singing his favourite song he will be able to turn into whomever he chooses. At this point I feel obliged to point out that the loner's favourite song is London Bridge Is Falling Down. Why is this his favourite song? Because he's an idiot. We are only a minute into the film and already the film has reached a monumental level of stupidity. It gets even stupider.The loner is the nostril picker. I can only assume this as there are two scenes in the film where he is seen picking his nose. That clears up the title. He decides to change into a girl so that he can get close to other girls. And kill them. That's more or less it.The acting is universally appalling. Every single performance in this movie sucks. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the acting is of the standard of a pornographic movie. It really is that terrible. The nostril picker appears to the audience as the nostril picker. The characters in the movie see him as the girl he has become through singing London Bridge Is Falling Down. Man, I feel like an idiot even typing this. Anyway, it is kind of strange seeing a middle aged weirdo hanging out with school girls. And not in a good way. There is even an extended montage of scenes where the nostril picker is at school with the girls and a song plays over the top. It is very possibly the worst song ever recorded. I'm not even going to describe it. You'll know it when you hear it. And you'll agree with me.There are some scenes of violence, sure. And there is a Benny Hill style chase sequence involving a transsexual. There is even an immortal bit of dialogue, that may or may not have been taken from Shakespeare or John Milton, where the nostril picker says to a prostitute, 'I've got the cash if you've got the gash'. Lovely, I'm sure you'll agree.Utter nonsense.

cellblockmetallica When I ordered the Nostril Picker on DVD, I didn't know what to expect. The cover is rather misleading as the apparent artistic humour does not pertain to the nature of the film. One would think that The Nostril Picker would be a guy who picks his nose throughout the film or that he may incorporate nostril picking in his murders...this is not the case - he only picks it 3 times in the whole movie, but that's not why I bought it. It is the story of a man who is lonely and cannot get any women. He meets a hobo outside a bus-stop and he is given a chant to turn him into a woman whenever he chooses. 'This is perfect', thinks Ugly Joe, The Nostril Picker, 'for killing those women who constantly reject me'. He befriends all the girls who ever laughed at him and mocked him and they see him as a young girl - the camera still shows Ugly Joe! But Ugly Joe is not just happy with a false friendship, he wants their blood! He proceeds to systematically kill each and every girl from a particular group. I was on the edge of my seat throughout the film and I couldn't take how scary it was in parts. I would recommend this film to any serious horror fan as it belongs on your DVD shelf along with Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Exorcist, The Wicker Man and The Shining.