Clevercell Very disappointing...

Pluskylang Great Film overall

ThedevilChoose When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

Plustown A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.

Andrew Gold I love Machete. The character is incredible, the premise is perfect, literally everything about it just screams B-movie stupidity, and it's insanely awesome. I actually saw this movie before the first Machete so I wasn't sure what to expect, and I laughed until it hurt. Seriously, it was everything I wanted in a silly action movie. Machete Kills is somehow even more ridiculous than the first one, this time with president Charlie Sheen ordering Machete to go after a lunatic nuclear arms dealer played to perfection by Demian Bichir, and Mel Gibson wants to destroy the world and colonize space. Yeah, and you thought De Niro playing George Bush was crazy. Mel Gibson is basically a Bond villain in this movie. This is another revenge story, except this time it's Machete's love interest Jessica Alba who is killed in front of him. Needless to say when President Sheen asks him to go on this suicide mission, Machete isn't exactly in the best frame of mind. Then again, it's f*cking Danny Trejo, so he's awesome at it anyway. The first half of the movie focuses more on Machete going after this crazy arms dealer, with random villains like Sofia Vergara with machine gun tits coming after him. There's also the shapeshifter El Cameleon played by Cuba Gooding Jr, Lady Gaga, and Antonio Banderas. Literally the best plot device to get as many famous people in a movie as possible. Then Mel kicks in during the second half of the movie and that's where it goes full-on ridiculous mode (in the best way, as if it wasn't ridiculous enough before).After seeing Machete and Machete Kills back to back, I realize the only thing that makes Machete Kills slightly weaker is that the laughs aren't as consistent. Machete had me on the floor 90 percent of the time. Machete Kills is more like, 70 percent hilarity and 30 percent of jokes that either don't hit or are just repeated to the point of desensitization. Still, when the jokes hit, they are laugh-out-loud funny. There are gags in this movie that make the original Machete look like a documentary. Oh, and Amber Heard is the special agent helping Machete this time, and she tries to do an accent every once in a while and fails miserably, but who cares because she's sex on a stick. That's basically the trend in these movies. You try to analyze something and then think to yourself, "Who cares?" It's so damn entertaining you don't have to think at all. Just lay back and enjoy the gratuitous violence, T&A, and everything else you'd want in a ridiculous action-packed B-movie. I, for one, cannot wait for the sequel.

Bryan Kluger "Machete don't tweet" is just one of the hilarious lines uttered by Danny Trejo's iconic character, Machete Cortez, in this new fun-as-hell sequel from Robert Rodriguez. If you pay attention, you might notice that Rodriguez has actually made a 'Star Wars' film with Machete in it this time around, complete with machete lightsabers, versions of carbonite and landspeeders, and characters similar to those in the 'Star Wars' universe. With an all-star cast and even more blood, guts and kills than the first one, this over-the-top sequel is highly entertaining.In this epic adventure, the President of the United States (Charlie Sheen, billed as "Carlos Estevez") calls up Machete to kill a Mexican drug lord named Mendez (Demian Bichir). Mendez suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder, and switches back and forth from being an evil drug kingpin, to a heroic revolutionary, to a secret agent. You never know what you'll get with him, but Bichir plays the character with gusto and hilarity. Mendez has implanted a device that remotely connects him to a nuclear warhead. If his heart stops, the missile will launch and hit Washington, DC. Machete accepts this mission when the President grants him U.S. citizenship and assigns him a handler in the form of a beauty pageant queen (Amber Heard) who has every weapon imaginable hiding beneath her gowns.As soon as Machete starts the mission, bad guys come out of the woodwork to kill him, including a top assassin known as the Chameleon, who changes disguises frequently and can look like Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Antonio Banderas or… Lady Gaga. After some guts are spilled and a few heads chopped off, Machete figures out that a multi-billionaire weapons mogul named Voz (Mel Gibson) is behind the entire scheme, and has big plans to destroy Earth and set up a new life in space.Does any of this make sense? No, but it sure is a hell of a lot of fun to watch. From Sofia Vergara's man-hating dominatrix who uses her boobs as weapons, to Machete swinging an enemy's intestines into the blades of a helicopter, you're in for something special with this sequel. Trejo has an impressive presence and owns the screen every time he's on camera, even if his monotone dialogue never has any emotion. The supporting cast around him rounds out this zany but brilliant action adventure. Yes, Michelle Rodriguez and her one eye show up again, and spill a lot of blood.This schlocky grindhouse material is what Rodriquez is great at. I can't wait to see the next chapter, teased in this one with a trailer called 'Machete Kills Again… In Space'.

steveraw I won't mess about here. Danny Trejo as a leading actor is like Buggs Bunny as a Presidential candidate. It's a laughable gimmick and nothing more. Gaga? Stick to nut-ball musical performances. Acting is your kryptonite you pointless creature. Machete Kills is a train wreck of an action movie. The plot is thin and basic. At the halfway point I found myself wondering if I was actually drunk and imagining the whole thing. It sort of blurred it's elements together to pass off as continuity but still felt like a bad trip.2 stars because 1)They managed to come up with a budget to produce this filth, and 2)They made it in colour.Confusing junk.

bensonmum2 Plot summary - Machete is hired by the U.S. government to find a madman in Mexico bent on launching weapons into space. Sounds crazy, huh? It is. As with the original Machete, the plot isn't as important as the action on the screen. If you've seen Machete, then you pretty much know what to expect from Machete Kills. It's more of the same with added fighting, explosions, and general mayhem. There are a couple of new things and characters in this one that I really enjoyed. I'll start with Mel Gibson. What a blast! He's so over-the-top, it's impossible not to enjoy every minute he's on screen. The same goes for Amber Heard and Charlie Sheen's (or Carlos Estevez) characters - Miss San Antonio and the President of the U.S. Awesome stuff!But, while I rated the first movie a 9/10, I'm only giving Machete Kills a 7/10. Obviously, there are some things that didn't work for me as well in this movie. First, Machete Kills would have benefited with more Michelle Rodriguez. She disappears for too long a stretch of the movie. Second, and more seriously, Machete Kills is really hurt by the lack of an ending. I understand exactly what Robert Rodriguez was trying to do, but it didn't go over well with me. Still, I'm looking forward to the next installment.