Scanialara You won't be disappointed!

ChicRawIdol A brilliant film that helped define a genre

Megamind To all those who have watched it: I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do.

AshUnow This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

dr-cheyno Is Hollywood really trying to make people dumber for having watched rubbish like this. The Second scene in the movie shows a 12yo Conan take out 4 fully armed and grown men unarmed. Apparently even though he weighs about 45kg max it was no problem to over power them. He also knew martial arts..This is close to the stupidest thing i have ever seen in a movie. *If you are a fan of Conan like me, just don't watch it. *If you have even the slightest bit of intelligence, just don't watch it. *If you have a shred of decency for yourself, do NOT watch it.If you are an idiot, watch this movie and rate it in between 7 & 10.That is all. Don't say i didn't warn you.Edit: I forced myself to watch the rest of the movie and thank god it moved on from kid wonder, but if the book was anything like this it must have been an incredibly small book. Other reviewers say it is true to the book. I say thank god that was one of the books i never read..In fact i'm sure the book could never of been this bad. But as a book reader myself i know that some fans will enjoy even the crappiest of movies if it stays somewhat true to the book, as the original Conan movie with Arnie would be extremely different. But imo as a movie an Arnie B grader is better than Conan 2011 & that says something. Funniest part of the film, watching the juiced up Jason Momoa struggle for like over a minute to pull up the 70kg max, girl on a chain. Bring back the wheel of pain!

Screen_Blitz Following the Arnold Schwartznegger rendition in the early 1980s, Conan the Barbarian has struck again on the silver screen, but not for an entertaining time. This updated rendition of the barbarian warrior succeeds boasted plenty of potential from its grittier update of the eponymous character. Unfortunately, this film lavishes its potential on a hopelessly unengaging story and direction that never quite lands. Directed by Marcus Nispel, the man behind two critically clobbered horror remakes 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' and 'Friday the 13th', this sword-and-sorcery tale delivers a feast of viciously graphic violence and gore splatters that makes Zack Snyder's '300' look more tame, tightly embracing its hard R-rating. But one thing that Nispel proves is that you simply cannot score a compelling action piece just throw in one gruesome action scene after another after another without dedicating some time to construct the plot and characters. It is just grows numbing and unappealing after a while long before it reaches the end credits. Citing this movie as an abhorrent disaster may be saying a lot, but it is nowhere as fun, exciting, or even intriguing as it sets out to be. Set during the fictional Hyborian age, the film stars Jason Momoa as Conan, a barbarian warrior who sets out on a perilous journey to seek revenge against a ruthless warlord Khalar Zym (played by Stephen Lang) along with his tyrant army wiped out his village and ultimately murdered by father Corin (played by Ron Perlman). Joining him on his quest is free slave Tamara (played by Rachel Nichols) who helps him on his vendetta while fighting against a horde of hideous monsters and Zym's evil minions. Whether you are watch this in 3-D or in regular version, this historical epic more often than not feels like a chore to sit through. Although there is plenty of intense, graphic battle sequences to keeping moving, the film never rises above the level of a slipshod fantasy extravaganza with nothing to offer but an excess of visually compelling scenery to feast the eyes. The first twenty minutes are fairly proficient, introducing the setting as well as the titular character as he witnesses a horrific tragedy of his village and his father. The scenery of the ancient world, resembling the middle- earth universe of the 'Lord of The Rings', in which the action takes place is at least nice look at. But when it comes down to kicking the action in gear, that is when the film crumbles. Director Marcus Nispel appears to have almost no interest in plot and instead allots a vast majority of proceeding splicing a long series of choppily edited battle sequences, and they all stitched together with constant brief moments of talking that rarely amounts of any sort of development to the plot or characters. Now is there any ounce of excitement delivered throughout the proceeding? Yes, but it comes far and few in between to the point where you question your willingness to sustain to the end. And for the bigger question, was Jason Momoa the right choice for substituting Arnold Schwartznegger in the role? While Momoa's performance is not inept, the portrayal of his character is tarnish by his weak and at times, laughable dialogue. The same problem lies with Stephen Lang's portrayal of Khalar Zym. And Ron Perlman, good grief! What a waste of a wildly compelling actor. Conan the Barbarian is a unfertile sword-and-sorcery fantasy actioner plagued by an overabundance of graphically violent battle sequences without any solid effort of pushing for a coherent narrative. Those who come for to snack on some intense swordplay and graphic carnage will by mildly satisfied, while those seeking for a compelling story will be drenched in disappointment. Hollywood could use a sweet rendition of the barbarian warrior, but this is not it.

DeadSpiderEye In truth this flick is not a complete pile of something you'd rather not stepped in. It is a teensy bit crap in places, there's an iffy cgi monster, a few crummy props and stunts that look as though they belong in a 1980's TV sword and sorcery series but those are kind of forgivable. What really wrecks this flick, is that it's Conan played gay, forget Rose McGowan's recommendation for Jason Momoa's arse, that's not even the worse part, it's the fact that Momoa comes over about as hard as a sherry trifle, wobbling on tea trolley with three wheels. I mean it's like he's looking for the mirror all the time, he even gives the camera a hair toss on more than one occasion, what is this, a Cadbury's flake ad? When you consider the legacy of the 1980's Conan, a film that broke all the rules, that caused the blue rinses in the press to wet their knickers and that still stands today as a mold breaking epic, it's all such a terrible shame. This flick puts the state of the art back to things like: The Beastmaster and The Sword and the Sorcerer.

info-12388 It's not great by any stretch, but then again, it's not completely terrible. It just sorta... is.I wont rehash the actors or the synopsis: there are over 300 reviews that already do that for you. My biggest complaint, above all, is the storytelling. First we're here, then we're there, then we have these new people, and they all work to save these other people, and meanwhile another group of people is running around wreaking havoc, and somehow — in this vast ménage of people — Conan manages to find himself in the middle of it all every single time.Oh, and he gets laid. But in true barbarian fashion, he leaves her. She's smiling... and probably pregnant — but she's happy. Joy.The story meanders like one of the gigantic war machines featured in the film. Perhaps you had to know Howard's novel first, but it seriously felt like the writers occasionally wrote themselves into the occasional corner and then said. "Plot twist!" before moving on in a completely new direction. And the inconsistencies! The evil witch daughter can conjure up sand demons to fight Mr. Barbarian, but somehow she cant do the same anywhere else? Are her powers limited to just sniffing around virgins and creating people from sand? I would have thought she could do much more, but maybe she spent a good time out of class.There are a few things that save it from being a complete disaster. The production design is quite good, even though Conan's giant skirt seems a bit unwieldy for a Man o Action. The women's costumes are sexy without being tacky, and the acres of leather armour are all well sculpted. Lord knows, the CG work is amazing, if pointless.Everything falling apart in the third act seemed to have mirrored the film's production — gigantic earthquakes that strike without warning or reason and a mask whose final effect was less than fearsome, a few waving tentacles and that was about it. I was waiting for the Dead to rise again when he put it on, but instead the dead seemed just as unwilling to make an appearance in this thing as I was, after a while, to watch it.