Micitype Pretty Good

Bergorks If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

Janae Milner Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

Gary The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

TDeMona Naturally the only reason to watch this for me was the fact that it had Sharon Stone in it. Unfortunately, though I was expecting absolutely nothing, I somehow got less.The movie takes place within the rustic country side, in the world of the rednecks, the folksy, "The Real America. The Small Town America". Thusly it must belong to the "city idiots move to the country side and get buggered, either literally or figuratively, by hicks" -genre. This is not merely flogging of the dead horse anymore, but waving your whip over the nearest glue factory. Yes, Deliverance was and is a brilliant film, but it also contained such elements as a plot, some common sense, mood and characters you didn't hope to die from the word go.The story is, in all of it's generic depression, this: Sharon Stone and her husband, a documentary movie director guy, move out of the city since their children are either bred wrong or it's just natural selection that makes them run in front of cars like it's going out of style. They manage to find a huge Wayne's Manor with it's own forest, the yard the size of a golf course and a swimming pool for about $3,50, since "it's foreclosed, yo, so the bank sells it real cheap like". But who would have know, the former owner shambles in looking for a job.I hated this character from his very first scene. And I don't mean that he is written to be a hateful character; I mean I am amazed how it is possible to write such a generic, pointless, irritating and uninteresting main antagonist. Of course also the dad starts to immediately hate this newcomer and this feeling is mutual. The audience merely hates everybody, since they are all equally boring, pretentious, over reacting bunch of monkeys.My very favourite series of events begins when the redneck dude saves the children from a snake that is in the pool. When he himself gets fired, the whole house is suddenly full of snakes. And every family member magically places their hands on the slimy buggers at the exactly same moment. I can hardly imagine the mountain of Oscars that must adorn the window sills of the responsible parties' trailers. And somehow the horrendous musical score manages to make this embarrassing mess even stupider than it already is. Which is an considerable effort.Of course the movie is also eternally long. After 30 minutes I had spent all my hospitality, but the thing just keeps chugging along. To my peer Sharon Stone fans: let it be known, that she does what she can with the stuff she is given, but her role could just as easily be played by a marionette made out of dead rats. Juliette Lewis is also present, wasted like everything else.In the name of honesty I have to report that there were few rather decent scenes near the end, and they bothered to even pay off some of the things that are set in motion. This is good, because almost an hour and a half is used to nothing but these preliminaries. Also, the ending is so sickly anticlimactic and the zenith of predictable, that even the makers of silent movies would have laughed it out of the room. You could easily foretell everything that happens, and usually it looked better made and more visionary in your mind.So, this was, in a word, wretchid. I was lucky I saw it on the television and didn't pay a dime. Even though I would like to urinate on my audiovisual equipment just to make sure no remnant of it remains within my apartments threshold.

jb_campo There was one reviewer who wrote that this was the best thriller of the year on the CD cover. With Quaid and Stone, I said, I'll try it.Terrible mistake. The plot was boring. The acting was terrible. There was zero chemistry between any characters. The family of 4 seemed like 4 people plucked off the streets and thrown together. Dorff as the bad guy was the only plausible actor. The plot was not only boring, but totally predictable. After about 20 minutes, I fast forwarded thru the rest of the movie until the end when it seemed like finally something "thrilling" was happening. Well what do you think? The one character who could be the bad guy, was the bad guy! What a shock? I'm shocked to learn this? I'm shocked I wasted even 45 minutes watching this bomb.Avoid avoid avoid. Stuff like this gives Hollywood a bad name.

moonspinner55 Ridiculous scare flick wastes a decent cast. Dennis Quaid and wife Sharon Stone move their family from New York City to the country, where they hope to refurbish an old farmhouse into a showplace within the next two years; soon, the former resident--just out of prison--shows up and asks to be their caretaker. Sure, why not! Written by Richard Jefferies, "Cold Creek Manor" is never as smart as the audience, which is death for a suspense-drama. Technically over-worked, highly illogical and unpleasant. Mike Figgis directed, perhaps for the thrill of the rural atmosphere and the sound of the cicadas. I don't know what excuse Quaid or Stone had. *1/2 from ****

juneebuggy Based on reviews this wasn't as bad as I was expecting. It has a good cast, which I think helped and an interesting initial setup, so that you feel like its going to develop into a decent thriller or haunted house type movie once things get going. Unfortunately they never do.The plot is kinda predictable, including the score of cheesy "be scared now" piano music, but I think the biggest problem is that this never manages to get into spooky or even thriller-ish territory, its just sort of bland. There were attempts made -Christopher Plummer as the creepy old man, the sheep killing instruments, the "evil" plaque in the woods, and the snakes but ultimately never followed through.I like Dennis Quaid and he does a decent job here as the Dad who relocates his New York family to the country where they buy a large house in a foreclosure sale. The Cold Creek house was once an elegant manor but is now in shambles and still filled with the possessions of the previous family. Turning it into their dream home soon becomes a nightmare when the previous owner gets out of prison.Stephen Dorff is the bad guy here, reminding me of a somewhat toned down version of Brad Pitt in Kalifornia. Ha, I just realized his character is also dating Juliette Lewis, who is wasted in a role I've seen her play multiple times. Sharon Stone, wow she's pretty awful as the mother, adding another of the "bland" elements to this movie. I did enjoy seeing a young Kristen Stewart as the daughter, all making faces and bratty kid, Yay you got me a pony. But can he swim? 3/15/15