2012: Supernova

2009
2.2| 1h27m| PG| en| More Info
Released: 27 October 2009 Released
Producted By: The Asylum
Country:
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
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Synopsis

Two hundred years ago a supernova exploded somewhere in the Lyra constellation. Now the lethal burst of radiation is headed straight for Earth, and time is swiftly running out. The only thing standing between humanity and complete devastation is astrophysicist Dr. Kelvin (Brian Krause), who heads up a project to save the planet.

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Reviews

ThiefHott Too much of everything
SpuffyWeb Sadly Over-hyped
Acensbart Excellent but underrated film
CommentsXp Best movie ever!
jimdclements Attempting to find a starting place for this review is like showing up at a massive train wreck to help clean up the remains. There's not really a good starting point, so you just have to dive in with your shovel.Brian Krause is the illustrious Dr. Kelvin, one of three scientists on a mission to save the world from a deadly, planet-obliterating supernova. His allies? Two other scientists who have come straight out of page 9 of "Stereotypes Weekly" - A vodka-swilling Russian with a terrible accent, and a cute petite Chinese scientist who you secretly suspect to turn traitor at any moment.Amidst saving the earth, Kelvin is distracted by threats ranging from Iranian terrorists (see page 13 of "Stereotypes Weekly"), to his hot 33 year old wife and hot 23 year old daughter who can't travel 30 miles in three days, to a ninja attempting to kill him (who looks and sounds like a petite Chinese woman...). Even his Vulcan-esque ally Henreaux eventually starts questioning whether Doc Kelvin should try to subvert the hand of God.So can the good doctor save the earth? He sure hopes to, and he has a fire-proof plan to do it: detonating a bazillion nuclear warheads right smack dab above the Earth's atmosphere. What could possibly go wrong? I have tried everything imaginable to come up with something positive enough to give this film two stars, but I simply can't. The only redeeming factor in this whole film is that the camera operators had enough skill to somehow manage to keep the cameras steady and in focus. This is quite the feat, as simply being on this set should reduce most mortals to a quivering, nauseated wreck. I suspect that they have worked as crime scene photographers, as the only way to build up the fortitude to capture a piece of work like this, as well as they have, would be to spend your days finding the best angle to really capture a mutilated decaying body left to rot in a swamp somewhere.To help understand the horror that is this atrocious waste of film, I've broke my rating into the following categories: Originality: 0 out of 10 stars. There's nothing original about this film, down to the mockbuster title. The plot is terrible, and feels like they pulled bits and pieces from a number of places. The film relied heavily on stereotypes, from Iranian terrorists that didn't really have anything to do with the film, to the inbred country hillbilly that wants to have his way with the daughter (I guess his threshold for hotness is somewhere in the 10ish years that these two actresses are apart from one another). It left you feeling like you've seen parts of this film somewhere, but you can't imagine ever voluntarily looking upon a sight so wretched.Artistic & Technical execution: 1 out of 10 stars. NASA is apparently launching shuttles from a power plant where everyone drives golf carts. The base that Kelvin & Co. work from is shot in a warehouse. The computer technology is on par with ENIAC. The graphics in the film were terrible, even for a no-budget film, and I was appalled that they chose to use stock footage from both the Challenger and Colombia disasters to represent their shuttle being blown up. Further, the cockpits of these shuttles were ridiculous, and looked more like a set one might build for their little kids. The space station is even worse, not to mention the very convenient fact that there is apparently gravity in space now, as the crew can just walk around from place to place. The only reason I give this category a single star is because somehow, amidst the sea full of awful, the camera crew managed to get their stuff right for the most part.Content: 0 out of 10 stars. Everything about this film is wrong. Why do a mid-30's looking couple have a biological child in her mid 20's who looks nothing like them? Why do the special agents allow the girls to go back home while the entire planet is apparently falling apart around them? The film has plot holes big enough to drive a truck through. They sort of allude to some people thinking that stopping Earth's demise is playing against the hand of God, but then why does the stereotypical Chinese girl (who doesn't ascribe to western religion) try to kill everyone off? Why does Kelvin seem suspicious of the drunk Russian, and not the fit Chinese girl when he just had his butt kicked by a masked assailant who was very clearly a fit Chinese girl? Seriously, there is nothing in this film that makes any sense. The science portrayed in this film is laughable at best, and they seem to ignore crucial facts, like the fact that the edge of Earth's magnetosphere is some 125 times farther from earth than any space shuttle has ever flown. We're talking tens of thousands of miles here.Overall experience: 0 out of 10 stars. Nothing in this film felt right. At some points I wondered if the scenes with the girls were going to break out into some sort of adult film. It was awkward, and nobody in the film seemed comfortable in their roles. Being an aspiring filmmaker, I love low budget indie flicks, and even by those standards, this is bad. Some films are so bad that they're funny. This film is so much worse that it goes all the way past funny, back around to being horrid. Save your money and/or time.
muggie2 I'd love to pick holes in the science in this movie, but it's pretty difficult to pick holes in a vacuum. They use quite a few scientific sounding words and phrases, but the sound is pretty much as close as it gets to actual content. That wouldn't be so bad - there are many movies out there whose writers knew little about science and yet still managed to create an entertaining movie. Sadly, this is not one of them. As vacuous as the science is, it still beats both the rest of the plot as well as the acting ability exhibited in this movie.You see, we can excuse the writers for failing to know elementary physics - it's not their primary job skill. But when the story fails in pretty much every other area as well, the writers have no such excuse. It's obviously not because they're using the story as a device for showing off pretty special effects, as special effects movies require a budget which is orders of magnitude larger than we see spent on this one. Nope, the story just plain sucks. It fails to be dramatic, thrilling, or even interesting.And then we get to the actors. Now, I know they can do better - they have in the past. Here, however, they fail. Were the lines truly as excruciatingly painful as their expressions suggest? Are they overacting in every scene, or is the disaster they are reacting to actually the effect on their careers from being in this film? Hmmm, possibly so. I would like to rate this movie as the worst movie this century, but with 90 years to go, I'm sure there will be bigger turkeys that this one. In the previous 10 years, however, there are few that can challenge this movie for its position near the bottom.
Neil Welch I read lots of comments on this film along the lines of Worst Film Ever, and I say this to you:The camera rests steadily on a tripod except when being hand-held is necessary in an action sequence; The film is in focus and correctly exposed; There is some nifty stunt driving; Many of the effects are passable.With these qualities in mind, I refer naysayers to "Aquanoids". I don't recommend watching it, oh no: I am not a cruel man and I couldn't, in all conscience, make that recommendation to anyone, entirely on humanitarian grounds. But I have watched Aquanoids so that you don't have to, and I am here to tell you that if you had watched it, there is no way you could accuse poor old 2012: Supernova of being the Worst Film Ever - it doesn't approach Aquanoids' lamentable standards on a technical or artistic level.Having said that, 2012: Supernova ain't very good.Which tells you something about Aquanoids.
tritisan Being trapped and afraid for my life would be the only reason I would ever watch a flick like this piece of stank. And as a matter of fact, a bus trip in Thailand recently provided the perfect opportunity. Even though it was dubbed in Thai, with no subtitles, I could quickly tell that this was going to be a very special kind of torture. I tried to stare out the window at the rather dull landscape between Bangkok and Rayong, but my eyes kept wandering back to the travesty playing out on the screen a few seats ahead.One thing that really impressed me was the filmmaker's (ahem) efficient use of "action" shots that basically involved driving back and forth over the same stretch of road and randomly driving black SUVs off the shoulder for no apparent reason. Intercut this with the "mother" and "daughter" (who couldn't be more than 5 years apart in age) sighing and looking somewhat worried. Then splice in stock footage of NASA building. Then a close up on the lead "actor" who honestly really only could afford one single expression (it must have been written into his contract): intensely trying to remember something. Repeat. Oh, and spice things up now and then with some CGI that would have looked great in the '80s. There you have it.